katiegrl Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 So my initial text was something about my lunch that has some sexy, flirty message behind it. To which he responded I should have gone over to his place for lunch and he could have satiated my appetite!! I said 'oh but I didn't get an invite...' And he said 'to be honest I only just remembered you were so close' ( I work 5 minutes away from where he lives...' I'm trying to ease up into asking him out but what the heck does his response mean?? Am I just over reading this? Sweetie, it means he wants sex! Duh. :) Come on....he could have "satiated your appetite"? No doubt he meant sexual appetite.... He's ready!!!!! What ya think? You ready?
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 So we agreed to a date tomorrow and he seemed really excited. Then he texted to say that he just realized he had a doctors appointment and asked if we could move it to the next day and then a couple minutes later he texts back and says to stick to original plan because the next day would not work for him. Is he messing?
katiegrl Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 So we agreed to a date tomorrow and he seemed really excited. Then he texted to say that he just realized he had a doctors appointment and asked if we could move it to the next day and then a couple minutes later he texts back and says to stick to original plan because the next day would not work for him. Is he messing? What happened to the doctor's appointment? lol Sounds like he's juggling and got confused with the dates...
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Juggling women,right? Plus we were going to meet at 7:30 at night. No doctor is opened that late...
katiegrl Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Juggling women,right? Plus we were going to meet at 7:30 at night. No doctor is opened that late... Yes juggling women ...multii-dating. Five dates in three months also points to that. Where was he this weekend? Have you ever gone out on the weekend?
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 We went out last weekend. To be fair to him, he had always asked me when I would like to meet and I always chose a weekday because my weekends are busy. How should I approach tomorrow?
katiegrl Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) We went out last weekend. To be fair to him, he had always asked me when I would like to meet and I always chose a weekday because my weekends are busy. How should I approach tomorrow? Well ...you told him on your last date when he asked for sex (and you did everything but), "next time." So clearly he is expecting sex. He even hinted as much when he texted you that you should have gone over to his during lunch so he could "satiate your appetite.". Hello.... I asked you this before, but are you ready? If not, why did you say "next time"? He may think you are messing with him! If you are not exclusive and only five dates in, he has every right to multi-date. He really needs to get his dates straight though.... Edited August 10, 2015 by katiegrl
myothernic2 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 We went out last weekend. To be fair to him, he had always asked me when I would like to meet and I always chose a weekday because my weekends are busy. How should I approach tomorrow? I know you're excited and all but I think you should be careful with this guy and really think about the fact that he was willing to have unprotected sex with you and you barely know him. 1
Snakechammah Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Just remember sweetheart: Losing an unworthy guy because you didn't sleep with him... is much less painful than... having slept with him only to have him fade on you later. Make your choice wisely. 1
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Is it worth asking him if he sees this going somewhere?
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 So over the weekend when we were texting he said something about maximizing our time together today and now he's saying he needs to have an early night for his beauty sleep? What is going on?
katiegrl Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) So over the weekend when we were texting he said something about maximizing our time together today and now he's saying he needs to have an early night for his beauty sleep? What is going on? So after the mix up with dates, and his ambiguous "doctor's appointment" that was and then wasn't ...... you're confirmed for tonight, but he just told you he needs it to be an early night cause he needs his beauty sleep? Sweetie, tell him sorry something came up and you can't make it, and wish him the best. And move on. I would. Edited August 10, 2015 by katiegrl
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 So over the weekend when we were texting he said something about maximizing our time together today and now he's saying he needs to have an early night for his beauty sleep? What is going on? What happened with the date tonight? He cancelled because he wanted his beauty sleep??! Seriously, at this point either block him or demote him to a casual acquaintance. I wouldn't waste time and emotional energy with him.
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 He didn't cancel but said earlier is better for him because he needs his beauty sleep...I guess right now I'm pissed by his mixed messages but at the same time curious to go on this date just to see what's really going on. How should I approach this date? Suggestions?
Strahatmak Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 He didn't cancel but said earlier is better for him because he needs his beauty sleep...I guess right now I'm pissed by his mixed messages but at the same time curious to go on this date just to see what's really going on. How should I approach this date? Suggestions? 5 dates in 3 months. Was it you or him being the busy one here to be honest? If you were the busy one, then he might think you were the one playing games and not getting things straight. If he were the busy one and asked you out just once in a while, then he wasn't putting any effort, and you were making it easy for him. Last date you shouldn't say, "next time," but you should've got it straight that you weren't comfortable of the progress you were making. I agree on telling him you are not free and let him know when you are free again. Never message him again. Don't respond to his messages in days. Demote him as a casual friend or something. You should have no expectation at this stage and move on. Next time, take control and make your date works harder.
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 He didn't cancel but said earlier is better for him because he needs his beauty sleep...I guess right now I'm pissed by his mixed messages but at the same time curious to go on this date just to see what's really going on. How should I approach this date? Suggestions? Not only are you not a priority but you're probably not even in the top 5 of things to do for him. You don't need to go on the date to see what's going on, he's got very little interest. I agree he's also multi-dating. My suggestion is to not go out with him again. You'll end up doing something you regret and feel worse afterwords.
katiegrl Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Not only are you not a priority but you're probably not even in the top 5 of things to do for him. You don't need to go on the date to see what's going on, he's got very little interest. I agree he's also multi-dating. My suggestion is to not go out with him again. You'll end up doing something you regret and feel worse afterwords. Completely agree with Rebel here, especially the bolded. You asked us earlier if we thought he was messing with you. In a word, YES. Tell him you can't make it, and wish him well. Then block, delete and move on. Be thankful you never had sex with him. Sorry it didn't work out...
Author slt0797 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Thank you guys for your suggestions!! Much appreciated!
Author slt0797 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 So I did end up going on the date with him. We did have an honest conversation of what is going on between us- he said 'I'm not one to put labels..but I really like you, I enjoy spending time with you and would love to see you more'. I also called him out on his mixed messages and he thoroughly apologized with good reason and said he didn't at all mean to make me feel like I was getting mixed messages. And weirdly enough, he apologized for the last date if he made me feel pressured in anyway for sex. He brought this up on his own. So we ended up having an honest conversation about sex. Then after that, he was on his best behavior the entire night? Almost like he felt bad that I called him out? Or is he being genuine?
losangelena Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Girl, in the words of Elsa from Frozen, "let it go." Stop wondering what his behavior means. There has been just too much back and forth for only having gone on five dates over such a long period of time. He sounds wishy-washy at best. If he wants see you, let him reach out. That is a better way of gauging his genuine-ness than by what comes out of his mouth. A lot of guys who are not really "into it" any longer will have no problem pursuing sex if they feel that you're on-board. I dated a guy like that last year. We went on four dates in fairly in quick succession and everything was good. We liked each other, we escalated physically each time (but no sex). Then, after date four he fell off, went a few days without reaching out, then emailed me to say his phone had died. After a few more days, I emailed him with a suggestion to hang out, which he replied to positively, but never told me whether he'd gotten his phone back. Day-of our date, I texted him to see if his phone was working, and he replied saying that if I, "still wanted to go out with him," he was available that afternoon. I felt super awkward and confused, because things had gone so well on dates 1 – 4 and now suddenly things were so weird. When we went out, everything felt fine, we picked up where we left off, and we ended up going to his place to have sex (sorta). Afterward he went back to his cagey behavior. I texted him once more, got a reply only several hours later, and decided to call it a day. I finally heard from him—six months later—and we actually went out a couple more times (just casually, I wasn't about to offer myself up to him again) before he disappeared for a second time. I don't regret sleeping with him, but it was just not worth the effort—not at all. I have no idea what his deal was. He was squirrelly, and even though I liked him a lot, he was just not able to be present in the relationship. Whatever it was, it didn't have anything to do with me, just like whatever this guy's deal is probably has nothing to do with you. That being said, if I were you I would not expend a lot of effort trying to move things forward, as they don't sound promising. You have better options ahead of you. 1
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