rlc1957 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half. I care for her a lot and we have talked about a future together.... About 3 months ago, just after her birthday, I caught her texting an old bf. I was hurt and upset and let her know how I felt. I am having trouble trusting her now. I don't want to snoop or worry bc I know if she wants to talk to other people she will and can. I just don't want to get hurt... I know I have to trust her to have a relationship that's worth having. I guess I'm looking for a little advice. Thanks in advance.
Joaquin Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 What did the text say? Did you see it? Did she show you? Refuse to show you? You need to put more context to this.
Author rlc1957 Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 I saw part of it over her shoulder, basically looked tame. She would not let me see it. I told her it was not okay with me and was a deal breaker. Now I'm a little obsessed with it all and I don't like being that way... She knew it was wrong and now I guess I worry that she is just hiding it better. Part of me knows I shouldn't worry but I'm struggling with it...
yellowhibiscus Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Hmmm.. after year and a half of dating I would expect my significant other to tell me if they were texting or received a text from an ex. It's not something that you hide. She should have been up front and honest about that. Let her know how you feel and if it happens again I would find it very disrespectful.
Joaquin Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Why wouldn't she show you the text if it was innocent? I wouldn't trust anyone who is sneaking about with an ex. 1
LoveRefreshed Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I'd end it there. She won't let you see her text to her ex? How did it end with her ex? Does she go on about how much of a prick ******* he is? Because that's usually a sign that he broke up with her and she still likes him. I'd be real wary man. I'd be observant for a long while now.
rocketman122 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 texting EX? big no no. shes not being open with you makes it worse. definite trust issue. I had that with my ex. didnt trust her the last 3 months. very suspicious behaviour. im certain she had something going on the side. not sure what though
Gary S Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Well, nothing serious is ever going to happen with only text..........she can't kiss him through text, talk is cheap. As long as they aren't dating, you have nothing to worry about. But I can understand you being jealous.....if she keeps doing it, you text an ex girlfriend of yours.... or find a some girl to text.....maybe she'l understand how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot.
deadelvis Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 oh so familiar... there are several possible reasons she doesn't want you to see her texts She could be confiding things in him which would hurt your feelings (looking for emotional support after arguing with you etc.) People do this. There's a fine line between having a support network of friends who you confide in and having inappropriate relationships with past lovers. It's hard for an outsider to see the difference between emotional cheating and having a close friendship with an ex. The line is there somewhere, but only the individuals doing the texting can know the difference. I confide many things in my ex and we discuss the problems in our current relationships and give each other advice. I would rather stick my penis in a paper shredder than ever have sex with her again, but to someone who didn't know our situation it could appear that I'm violating my partners trust by texting my ex about the problems in my current relationship. But since my ex poses zero threat to my partner, I know there's nothing wrong with it. However if my partner read my texts with my ex where I'm discussing my unhappiness and the possibility of ending the relationship, she would probably assume there is something inappropriate going on behind her back, which is totally untrue. She's a support system, not a backup plan. People stay friends with ex's and people confide personal things in their friends. It's not inherently wrong. or she could just be a lying, cheating piece of infectious human waste... she's your GF. You probably already know the answer.
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