hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Ok, thanks to my current situation, i totally get why some guys wont give up. There was this guy at the supermarket who kept asking me to bonk. A year later...we are bonking...He never gave up even though i told him i had a bf. So far it looks like we may be fwb. We are also flirty in the store. He came up behind me and copped a feel. Lol One day i just became very attracted to him. Normally, im either attracted to a man or not. I started to notice that he was kinda muscle-y. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 It works. I've 'nailed' several girls who have rejected me earlier in life. =D Persistence works at times. I know a lot of people here are big on the whole "She's not into you, move on" and normally I am too. But sometimes, it works. I hear stories from older generations. "He kept asking me out, every week. I kept telling him no. But he kept coming back and was so sweet. I finally decided..." Blah, you know how it goes. Sometimes it works..
No_Go Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I find the "persistent" strategy super creepy. I have a guy that I met at OKC that I rejected twice last summer since I started a relationship with someone else, he kept checking up in like 2 months intervals, after my relationship failed I went on 3-4 dates with him and had to reject him again because I had no romantic spark (he was too socially awkward...). He asked to be just friends, went to another 2 "dates" and he start inviting me to his apartment (for dinners???)? In that time I started a new relationship, told him about it, and he switched to asking me out for group outings (with his brother and friends??). I had to reject this again, and now, few months later, he asked me out AGAIN (rejected). Isn't that creepy??? - it is over an year and 2 relationships down the line. Your guy sounds similar..... But if you're attracted to him, good for you. Just beware that with this level of persistence it will be very hard to move on if need be. Ok, thanks to my current situation, i totally get why some guys wont give up. There was this guy at the supermarket who kept asking me to bonk. A year later...we are bonking...He never gave up even though i told him i had a bf. So far it looks like we may be fwb. We are also flirty in the store. He came up behind me and copped a feel. Lol One day i just became very attracted to him. Normally, im either attracted to a man or not. I started to notice that he was kinda muscle-y.
SammySammy Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Attractive persistence versus repulsive persistence?
carhill Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Yep, Cary Grant persistence pays off. Of course, it doesn't hurt to be Cary Grant. OP, I'm happy you recognized why men do what they do. It's rarely random. The most successful of us do what we do because, well, it works. It takes a lot of trial, error, and failure for many of us to get there. Enjoy your interactions! 1
deadelvis Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 The only difference between a hopeless romantic and a stalker is whether or not she likes you. 4
Author hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 Yep, Cary Grant persistence pays off. Of course, it doesn't hurt to be Cary Grant. OP, I'm happy you recognized why men do what they do. It's rarely random. The most successful of us do what we do because, well, it works. It takes a lot of trial, error, and failure for many of us to get there. Enjoy your interactions! It does help ti be cary grant
Author hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 I find the "persistent" strategy super creepy. I have a guy that I met at OKC that I rejected twice last summer since I started a relationship with someone else, he kept checking up in like 2 months intervals, after my relationship failed I went on 3-4 dates with him and had to reject him again because I had no romantic spark (he was too socially awkward...). He asked to be just friends, went to another 2 "dates" and he start inviting me to his apartment (for dinners???)? In that time I started a new relationship, told him about it, and he switched to asking me out for group outings (with his brother and friends??). I had to reject this again, and now, few months later, he asked me out AGAIN (rejected). Isn't that creepy??? - it is over an year and 2 relationships down the line. Your guy sounds similar..... But if you're attracted to him, good for you. Just beware that with this level of persistence it will be very hard to move on if need be. I think he was a little socially awkward or maybe shy, but that's ok. I'm socially awkward, too lol.
stillafool Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Ok, thanks to my current situation, i totally get why some guys wont give up. There was this guy at the supermarket who kept asking me to bonk. A year later...we are bonking...He never gave up even though i told him i had a bf. So far it looks like we may be fwb. We are also flirty in the store. He came up behind me and copped a feel. Lol One day i just became very attracted to him. Normally, im either attracted to a man or not. I started to notice that he was kinda muscle-y. This guy sounds disrespectful.
Joaquin Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 This strategy works for me when I don't care much for the girl and only want to use her for sex. She rejects me. Who cares. I just want fun. I keep throwing out the line, she gets to a low ebb at some stage and eventually grabs it. Once she has it, I still don't care much for her. Whatever your up for I guess. You eventually move on to someone you give a shyt about.
Poppygoodwill Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 This sounds a bit to me like the "Law of Percentages" that I saw acted out in a bar one night by a guy that went from woman to woman chatting them up. If you ask enough woman to sleep with you, eventually one of them will say yes.
Chief Wiggum Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Never been a fan of the persistent strategy. It always looked like a waste of time and energy.
deadelvis Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I pursued my GF for years. She shot me down so many times it's not even funny. She thought I was pushy, creepy and a borderline stalker. I wasn't. I was just in love with her. Eventually she gave me a chance. A week later we were in love. Persistence can pay off.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I pursued my GF for years. She shot me down so many times it's not even funny. She thought I was pushy, creepy and a borderline stalker. I wasn't. I was just in love with her. Eventually she gave me a chance. A week later we were in love. Persistence can pay off. Yeah but look at how well that's turned out. Plus, by your own admittance you're borderline obsessed w-your GF and are unable to put the past behind you. It's an unhealthy relationship you two have to say the least. Now personally, I'd be weary of someone who persisted for that long. There is more of a chance they'll have obsessive personality traits and have a hard time moving on if you decide you don't want to see them anymore. I mean you have to question a person that has been unable to meet/focus on anyone else whatsoever over the case of a year. Especially when they don't even know you. I mean I can kind of see a guy in the friend zone being persistent. At least he's getting to know the woman and spending time. So his feelings developing are based on her. But when it's a guy you don't know not leaving you alone for a year straight, that's different IMO. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) It works for me when I am feeling down, low on options and decide that I want to be with someone. I am never really into them though... Also, I notice that when my attraction switch suddenly switches on due to my own state of mind rather than due to the genuine attraction - it switches off just as abruptly when my life improves :/ Edited August 7, 2015 by Eternal Sunshine 1
joseb Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 There was this guy at the supermarket who kept asking me to bonk. ... He came up behind me and copped a feel. Wow this actually works? Maybe I should start doing this...though I doubt I'd make it to the end of the week without being fired for sexual harassment!
Author hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 This guy sounds disrespectful. He didnt say bonk, to be fair. Those were my words. He used standard lets hang out type stuff. This strategy works for me when I don't care much for the girl and only want to use her for sex. She rejects me. Who cares. I just want fun. I keep throwing out the line, she gets to a low ebb at some stage and eventually grabs it. Once she has it, I still don't care much for her. Whatever your up for I guess. You eventually move on to someone you give a shyt about. We are not dating so its fine if we dont care for each other like bf/gf. Realistically i doubt this arrangement will last more than 6 mos, even that is being generous.
deadelvis Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Yeah but look at how well that's turned out. Plus, by your own admittance you're borderline obsessed w-your GF and are unable to put the past behind you. It's an unhealthy relationship you two have to say the least. Now personally, I'd be weary of someone who persisted for that long. There is more of a chance they'll have obsessive personality traits and have a hard time moving on if you decide you don't want to see them anymore. I mean you have to question a person that has been unable to meet/focus on anyone else whatsoever over the case of a year. Especially when they don't even know you. I mean I can kind of see a guy in the friend zone being persistent. At least he's getting to know the woman and spending time. So his feelings developing are based on her. But when it's a guy you don't know not leaving you alone for a year straight, that's different IMO. well regardless of how healthy my relationship may or may not be. All I'm saying is if you really want someone... don't give up. But also never get friendzoned. Just keep trying and never give up. Getting a friend of his/hers as a "footstool" is a brilliant plan also. Thats what finally got my foot in the door.
Author hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 Yeah but look at how well that's turned out. Plus, by your own admittance you're borderline obsessed w-your GF and are unable to put the past behind you. It's an unhealthy relationship you two have to say the least. Now personally, I'd be weary of someone who persisted for that long. There is more of a chance they'll have obsessive personality traits and have a hard time moving on if you decide you don't want to see them anymore. I mean you have to question a person that has been unable to meet/focus on anyone else whatsoever over the case of a year. Especially when they don't even know you. I mean I can kind of see a guy in the friend zone being persistent. At least he's getting to know the woman and spending time. So his feelings developing are based on her. But when it's a guy you don't know not leaving you alone for a year straight, that's different IMO. To be fair, i dont keep male friends anymore so he would never have that opportunity. If i friendzone a guy, theres a very good reason. My friendzone is the type in which a man stays there permanently. He couldve been pursuing other women, but its not like we are dating or anything.
Author hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 Wow this actually works? Maybe I should start doing this...though I doubt I'd make it to the end of the week without being fired for sexual harassment! Lol well he did the cop a feel thing after we started having sex. Id be n put off otherwise lol.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Persistence definitely pays. I guess I'm naturally a bit guarded and conservative with new men, because most of the men I've had relationships with had to be persistent and keep trying to get me to go out with them, including my boyfriend. It pays elsewhere, too. A couple of years ago, I experienced an unexpected cash flow shortfall in my business, and in a move of desperation, I weeded through the past 6 months of prospects to try to drum up some new business and cash, following up with all of them several times over the next few weeks with promotional offers, etc. It worked. Within a few weeks, I had conjured up a surprising volume of new business and come back from the shortfall. 1
SmartDude Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 So your saying that some guys try more than once with the same woman? AMAZING, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! And some women actually change their mind and their intuition is not always correct? MIND BLOWN INTO OUTER SPACE! 1
fryingpan Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 IMO its quite risky for a man to be persistent. What if the woman never "starts" to suddenly like him? Then he'll be labeled as a stalker/creep.
abby_tx Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 There were two times in my life where persistence paid off for the guy, but neither time led to a real relationship. It led to temporary attraction.
Author hotpotato Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 There were two times in my life where persistence paid off for the guy, but neither time led to a real relationship. It led to temporary attraction. i don't think this will lead to a relationship tbh
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