Picking Up Girls From Professional Context

[JC4]

I'm 33, male. I'm an introvert, I don't have a lot of experience dating, and I'm only recently trying this out.

 

I recently was in the following situation. It's a situation I've been in before and I'll probably be in again, although this is the first time I've ever tried to act on it. So I'm wondering, guys, how would you try to get a date in the following scenario?

 

A few weeks ago I took an injured cat to the emergency animal hospital. As I was in the waiting room a beautiful girl in scrubs walked in, catching my eye. When I was called back, she was the doctor.

 

She didn't have a ring on, looked to be about my age, seemed nice, but I was focused on the cat so didn't really think about it too much. She took care of the cat and I went home. There would be no follow up appointments.

 

I decided I wanted to try to ask her out. Cute, PhD, works with animals, emergency surgeon, competent (judging by her work), looked pretty good on paper. I checked the hospital web site to see if she had an email address. I found she was from the same home town as me. No contact info. I did a quick search for her on FB and found her profile.

 

Now, in this situation:

 

• I know her name.
  
• I know where she works.
  
• I know her Facebook profile, and LinkedIn as well.
  
• I know she is roughly my age.
  
• I know that we share two conversation topics in common: Our home town, and our bio-med backgrounds.
  

 

I know nothing else about her, and have had no interactions with her outside of the context of that one office visit. I don't know if she has a partner, if she is straight, nothing. I also know I am more comfortable in person than online, but there was a hurdle here of trying to meet this girl, who knows nothing about me either, in person but only having minimal online contact info.

 

With the goal of trying to get a date with this girl, how would you guys have approached her? I think my approach (which I'm not going to describe now because I don't want to bias it) was OK, she just wasn't interested, so that one's a no-go, but I'm more wondering how to deal with a situation like this if something similar comes up again in the future, because the whole thing felt awkward and difficult.

 

I'm also interested in hearing about what this experience might be like from the girl's perspective in that story.

Edited August 7, 2015 by JC4

[JC4]

Or would you just not have approached her at all? Because I guess it's kind of weird.

 

But damn its hard to resist hot girls with PhDs.

Edited August 8, 2015 by JC4

[xcupid]

Get to know her before approaching her and asking her for a date. She doesn't know you at all. It might creep her out a bit if you ask for her a date.

[bp123]

Try to make smalltalk and try to make her laugh. Then at the end, ask her out, because what do you have to lose? You most likely will never see her again.

[Snakechammah]

Thank you for saving the injured cat.

 

May your good karma gives you the girl you want.

 

[LookAtThisPOst]

Since there would be no follow-up appointments for the cat, I would go with the Facebook option or LinkedIn....go from there. Good luck!

[elaine567]

Since there would be no follow-up appointments for the cat, I would go with the Facebook option or LinkedIn....go from there. Good luck!

 

Read the post, she just wasn't interested.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Read the post, she just wasn't interested.

 

Well, he said this, "I think my approach (which I'm not going to describe now because I don't want to bias it) was OK, she just wasn't interested, so that one's a no-go,"

 

But I think she was talking about a hypothetical situation on how he would approach her. There's nothing indicating that he tried asking her out in the least.

 

That's how I read it, he went in, checked her ring finger, deduced things about her profession and that she was a PhD

 

Went straight home and went online to find out more about her, but never contacted her from what I could read.

 

There was nothing posted about, "I asked for her # and she said that she wasn't interested."

[xxoo]

In this sort of situation, make the interest known at the first meeting and gauge her response. If positive, you know where she works so you can send a token gift (bagels for the office) with a short thank you note, then call to follow up ("did the staff enjoy the bagels?") and ask her out.

[elaine567]

Well, he said this, "I think my approach (which I'm not going to describe now because I don't want to bias it) was OK, she just wasn't interested, so that one's a no-go,"

 

But I think she was talking about a hypothetical situation on how he would approach her. There's nothing indicating that he tried asking her out in the least.

 

That's how I read it, he went in, checked her ring finger, deduced things about her profession and that she was a PhD

 

Went straight home and went online to find out more about her, but never contacted her from what I could read.

 

There was nothing posted about, "I asked for her # and she said that she wasn't interested."

 

After he said his approach didn't work. If you read it.

"I think my approach (which I'm not going to describe now because I don't want to bias it) was OK, she just wasn't interested, so that one's a no-go", he then went on to say

"I'm more wondering how to deal with a situation like this if something similar comes up again in the future."

He IS dead in the water there.

[Gaeta]

Let me share this story with you and maybe it will guide you.

 

I have a lady friend who's a financial adviser. She had a meeting with a client she had never seen. Apparently when he entered her office she had an electric shock going through her. She even called me on lunch to tell me she never felt something like that in her life and wondered if she'd see him again. Later in that afternoon that client sent her an email. He thanked her for the meeting and said he was taken away by her smile etc and wondered if she'd meet him for a drink on a personal level. She agreed, they dated a few months.

[LookAtThisPOst]

After he said his approach didn't work. If you read it.

"I think my approach (which I'm not going to describe now because I don't want to bias it) was OK, she just wasn't interested, so that one's a no-go", he then went on to say

"I'm more wondering how to deal with a situation like this if something similar comes up again in the future."

He IS dead in the water there.

 

I still don't really understand how he posted it. There's nothing in the post saying he actually asked her out.

 

He'll have to come back to this post and clarify.

[JC4]

I did ask her out before posting and was turned down. Sorry about being unclear there. I was wondering how others would have handled a similar situation.

 

What I did, actually, was the Facebook route. She wasn't interested for whatever reason although I still think I could have increased my chances a little more. Here is a (highly censored) transcript of my failed attempt, which I made about 5 days after the appointment (because I needed a follow up appointment with the normal vet and I wanted to see if I'd have to go back to the ER first, because I'd rather have asked this girl in person):

 

Friday 12:41pm

Me: Hi; are you Dr. *** from ***?

Saturday 9:42am

Girl: Hi! Yes I am.

Me: I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of my cat *** (long hair, black & white, 14 years, *** last Sunday).

Me: He was happy, back on his feet, and making muffins like a champ the very next day, and is healing really well.

Girl: Oh great!! I'm so happy to hear he's feeling better I remember ***. He's a tough old guy!

Me: Yeah, he's a real trooper and he's my buddy. So definitely, thanks.

Me: Also I noticed on the web site that you're from ***! Me too! I grew up in *** and ***. Where are you from?

Sunday, 3:02am

Girl: Oh nice! I went to *** high school. It's near ***. How long have you been in Brooklyn?

Sunday, 11:12am

Me: So you're on team ***. I know ***. I had some good friends in *** and my cousins all live in ***.

Me: I've been in Brooklyn for... (math)... 8 years, and I was in Manhattan for 1 before that.

Me: Hey is there any chance you're free for coffee, a drink, or dinner later this week?

Tuesday, 3:30am

Me: Or if you're really busy maybe we could meet up over lunch some time. Let me know! My cell is ***, and Facebook works too. I'd love to talk to you some more so feel free to shoot me a text or a message if you're interested!

 

And that was that. No reply.

 

Thanks for the replies, all. I need to work on chatting up a little more first. My problem is that I really don't like talking to people online (or on the phone for that matter), and sometimes I think I rush for face-to-face.

[JC4]

Let me share this story with you and maybe it will guide you.

 

I have a lady friend who's a financial adviser. She had a meeting with a client she had never seen. Apparently when he entered her office she had an electric shock going through her. She even called me on lunch to tell me she never felt something like that in her life and wondered if she'd see him again. Later in that afternoon that client sent her an email. He thanked her for the meeting and said he was taken away by her smile etc and wondered if she'd meet him for a drink on a personal level. She agreed, they dated a few months.

 

I really like this story, thank you for sharing.

 

It really brings home the idea that if the feeling is mutual, everything falls into place. If you have to think and force it perhaps it's not meant to be.

[GalWithNiceGuyFriend]

I did ask her out before posting and was turned down. Sorry about being unclear there. I was wondering how others would have handled a similar situation.

 

What I did, actually, was the Facebook route. She wasn't interested for whatever reason although I still think I could have increased my chances a little more. Here is a (highly censored) transcript of my failed attempt, which I made about 5 days after the appointment (because I needed a follow up appointment with the normal vet and I wanted to see if I'd have to go back to the ER first, because I'd rather have asked this girl in person):

 

Friday 12:41pm

Me: Hi; are you Dr. *** from ***?

Saturday 9:42am

Girl: Hi! Yes I am.

Me: I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of my cat *** (long hair, black & white, 14 years, *** last Sunday).

Me: He was happy, back on his feet, and making muffins like a champ the very next day, and is healing really well.

Girl: Oh great!! I'm so happy to hear he's feeling better I remember ***. He's a tough old guy!

Me: Yeah, he's a real trooper and he's my buddy. So definitely, thanks.

Me: Also I noticed on the web site that you're from ***! Me too! I grew up in *** and ***. Where are you from?

Sunday, 3:02am

Girl: Oh nice! I went to *** high school. It's near ***. How long have you been in Brooklyn?

Sunday, 11:12am

Me: So you're on team ***. I know ***. I had some good friends in *** and my cousins all live in ***.

Me: I've been in Brooklyn for... (math)... 8 years, and I was in Manhattan for 1 before that.

Me: Hey is there any chance you're free for coffee, a drink, or dinner later this week?

Tuesday, 3:30am

Me: Or if you're really busy maybe we could meet up over lunch some time. Let me know! My cell is ***, and Facebook works too. I'd love to talk to you some more so feel free to shoot me a text or a message if you're interested!

 

And that was that. No reply.

 

Thanks for the replies, all. I need to work on chatting up a little more first. My problem is that I really don't like talking to people online (or on the phone for that matter), and sometimes I think I rush for face-to-face.

 

This is not an actual 'no'. I would wait a few days for a response. We girls are weird like that at times. She may actually want to catch up based on her responses here. Trust me, if a girl finds you creepy from the word go, there is never a reply. You got lots of replies. That's a good thing. I am a girl and I am 32 so I know

[bp123]

I did ask her out before posting and was turned down. Sorry about being unclear there. I was wondering how others would have handled a similar situation.

 

What I did, actually, was the Facebook route. She wasn't interested for whatever reason although I still think I could have increased my chances a little more. Here is a (highly censored) transcript of my failed attempt, which I made about 5 days after the appointment (because I needed a follow up appointment with the normal vet and I wanted to see if I'd have to go back to the ER first, because I'd rather have asked this girl in person):

 

Friday 12:41pm

Me: Hi; are you Dr. *** from ***?

Saturday 9:42am

Girl: Hi! Yes I am.

Me: I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of my cat *** (long hair, black & white, 14 years, *** last Sunday).

Me: He was happy, back on his feet, and making muffins like a champ the very next day, and is healing really well.

Girl: Oh great!! I'm so happy to hear he's feeling better I remember ***. He's a tough old guy!

Me: Yeah, he's a real trooper and he's my buddy. So definitely, thanks.

Me: Also I noticed on the web site that you're from ***! Me too! I grew up in *** and ***. Where are you from?

Sunday, 3:02am

Girl: Oh nice! I went to *** high school. It's near ***. How long have you been in Brooklyn?

Sunday, 11:12am

Me: So you're on team ***. I know ***. I had some good friends in *** and my cousins all live in ***.

Me: I've been in Brooklyn for... (math)... 8 years, and I was in Manhattan for 1 before that.

Me: Hey is there any chance you're free for coffee, a drink, or dinner later this week?

Tuesday, 3:30am

Me: Or if you're really busy maybe we could meet up over lunch some time. Let me know! My cell is ***, and Facebook works too. I'd love to talk to you some more so feel free to shoot me a text or a message if you're interested!

 

And that was that. No reply.

 

Thanks for the replies, all. I need to work on chatting up a little more first. My problem is that I really don't like talking to people online (or on the phone for that matter), and sometimes I think I rush for face-to-face.

 

I think if you see a girl you like in person, you have to make a move right there. If you wait a few days, she'll have forgotten about you, and you'll also appear weak for not having the courage to ask her out when you first saw her.

 

Also, if you find her on facebook/linkedin/etc, she might think you're creepy for "stalking" her.

 

Based on your FB transcript, she kept replying back to you, but once you asked her out, there was no reply for 2 days. That tells you everything you need to know about how she feels. No need to send another message at that point - it just makes you look desperate.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think if you see a girl you like in person, you have to make a move right there. If you wait a few days, she'll have forgotten about you, and you'll also appear weak for not having the courage to ask her out when you first saw her.

 

Also, if you find her on facebook/linkedin/etc, she might think you're creepy for "stalking" her.

 

Based on your FB transcript, she kept replying back to you, but once you asked her out, there was no reply for 2 days. That tells you everything you need to know about how she feels. No need to send another message at that point - it just makes you look desperate.

 

Well, perhaps he could find a reason to go back to the vet again. Like, he gets a new hamster and bring him in for a check-up? lol

[JC4]

Well, perhaps he could find a reason to go back to the vet again. Like, he gets a new hamster and bring him in for a check-up? lol

 

They do emergencies only at this place. It'd have to be a hamster emergency.

 

You can thank Richard Gere for the image you get from "hamster emergency".

 

I'm not sure if this would make a good impression...

[JC4]

Incidentally, just today, that girl (the vet) responded on FB out of nowhere (at least a week since I asked her):

 

Girl: Hi sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! I'm so happy *** is doing well it's always nice to meet a fellow ***er! I'm glad you had a good experience at *** - it's a great bunch of people and I feel lucky to be able to work there. I unfortunately don't date clients as a rule but I appreciate the invitation. I wish you and *** both the best and will say hey if I'm ever in ***!

 

She also accepted my friend request. I sort of reflexively responded (I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that doesn't translate well to text, and re-reading this I guess it could come across as snarky instead - I probably should have punctuated it with a "lol" or something, oh well):

 

Me: Thanks, I'll tell my cat. I was actually asking on his behalf, I'm sure he'll be disappointed. He was neutered 14 years ago, so you probably made the right call.

 

I cannot make heads or tails of this, so I'm not even going to try. Her silence was a fine "no" so I'm not really sure why she came back a week later to add me on Facebook and say "no" (with a very odd reason - I'm sure this isn't the real reason, I don't know why she thought I needed a reason to begin with, so I'm not sure what the point of this message was). Confusing me is a sure-fire way to turn me off though so at least my crush came to an end with some closure there, and I still feel all right about my initial approach.

Edited August 13, 2015 by JC4