MiChick43 Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 I have a question. I hope this is the right place!! I am not a jealous person, normally but something is bugging me. Its almost funny, yet it bugs me. My fiance is very sweet and friendly. Everyone loves him. There is a woman at his job that, she says, makes big meals for her husband every night. So big that they have a ton of left overs and ....her husband will not eat the left overs. So...my fiance says that she will bring things into the office once inawhile and share. Left over cake, whatever. But the last two Sundays she has called our house and asked how he wants this or that. Now, part of me is laffing thinking this man is taking full advantage of several meals a day. On the other hand I think its rude for some woman to call my home, at 9:00 at night asking how he wants his sandwitch. LOL, see its kinda funny. But its not. SO after you stop laffing please let me know if you think I should tell him he should tell her that hes fine...no thanks. Or should I leave it alone. I think what really bugs me is she has the nerve to call our home, ask for him not say hi to me and feel this behavior is ok. I mean I would never do that when there is a woman in the house taking full care of her mans needs, aka meals. ME! I fully trust my man. I dont even think , at this point she is trying to move in. I just think she is rude to totally ignore the fact that I am here in the same house when she calls. OK vent over....thanks.
Tony T Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 In my opinion, it is highly inappropriate for a woman, married or single, to call your guy's home at 9 p.m. to ask him how he wants his food. She should not be singling him out and she should not care about his stomach unless she is trying to make her way to his heart. Are you sure she knows your guy is taken? I would bring this up casually to your bf. Don't make it seem like you're jealous but that you want to bring it to his attention that this is inappropriate behavior on the woman's part and he should ask her to cease. There is NO reason whatsoever she should be calling him at home unless there is some sort of work emergency. On the other hand, you don't know what goes on at work. Do you think your guy could be encouraging this lady? Let her bring the food and let the people enjoy it in whatever form. She doesn't have to modify her leftovers for custom eaters. The situation is not a good one.
bluechocolate Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 How old is this woman? Could it be that she is mothering your husband-to-be, rather than being romantically interested in him? It may just be that she enjoys cooking & enjoys it more that people (aka your fiance) appreciate it. It is kinda funny & rude at the same time. Does she behave this way exclusively with him or is she cooking up a storm for other people in the office? Maybe what you could do is find a particular dish of hers that your husband enjoys & then call her up to ask her how to prepare it. That would be a subtle, yet friendly, hint that you're there and fully aware of what's going on but not threatened by her. Who knows? Maybe you & her will foster a friendship. btw - I've worked in a lot of offices & there is often some momma around who loves to bake & cook & bring stuff in for other folks. In one office I used to work in fights would break out over one particular happily married woman's' empanada's!
Tony T Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 bluechocolate has some good ideas about this, although I still feel whatever her intentions are she shouldn't be calling your home at night. If bluechocolate is correct, and he might very well be, perhaps you should invite this lady over...get to know her a bit...let her see you hanging on your boyfriend....get some recipes from her...and size her up to see more correctly where she's coming from. You might want to put her phone number on call block after 6 p.m., if you have that service in your area.
Author MiChick43 Posted May 8, 2005 Author Posted May 8, 2005 Tony, I totally agree. Im not really jealous of this woman. Im weirded out by her lack of respect for my involvement with this man. She knows Im here, I answer the phone. No ...oh hi Michick how are you. Just, can I talk to mark please? I find that very rude. I guess I could say.....no. Mark is busy would you like me to give him a msg. I dont know if this would be a good idea or not. You might want to put her phone number on call block after 6 p.m., if you have that service in your area Never heard of this. Maybe this is a good idea! I never really asked Mark much about her. He has told me she is married, to a much older man. I believe she is around Marks age, 47- 50. This man seems very demanding. Demands a big dinner everynight where there is always left overs. and he wont eat leftovers. Sounds odd to me. But I never asked if she does this for all the guys in the office. I will, not sounding jealous, ask this next time she calls. Good thoughts. If its not just my guy I suppose she is just being nice. But I still feel its rude to call the home Mark and I share together and not say one word to me, even when I answer the phone. You would think that is just common consideration and good manners. And you would think someone that does not have motives would want the girlfriend, aka me, to know this is on the up and up. I would NEVER call a coworkers home, male, without feeling funny about how it looked. I have never called a male coworkers home for anything, not even work related stuff. But if I had to I would make a point of saying hello to the wife, telling her what I needed and maybe just go through her period and not talk to the guy. But I have been cheated on big time before so Im very sensitive about feelings. you guys are great. I thought my feelings were not abnormal or from jealousy. I think its just the fact that she totally ignores me and why Im there.
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