lostguy18 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Hey folks. Just wondering what to do with this one. She's a coworker from a different deptartment. I've had very mixing signals from her over the last few months but at the same time she's like super friendly, until that is of a recent work nights out. Most recent one, she kept pulling me onto the dance floor etc and kept me close to her pretty much all night. She laughed and we laughed etc etc. I was slowly working my way in and already gave her a few cheeky pecks on different areas around her face and kissing her hand as she responded with her melting giggles. Everyone was drunk. She then went to the toilet, then one of the guys was like you need to get her to leave her boyfriend and get with her and I was thinking what the f.. at this point. Why did she not mention this? Back at work now, and so I've not spoken to her except for a "hi how are you" as she passed by.. Feeling awkward.. Should I confront her? I'm starting to develop some feelings but I'm not one for ruining people's relationships.. But at the same time I don't even know if could trust her if we started but a friend said to me "if she wasn't interested, she would've said that she had a bf to push you away" So I don't know whether it would be a good idea to confront her or not.. Anyone been in a similar position?? Yes she gave me her number that night before she left but I don't wanna text her out the blue Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 being a boyfriend isn't being a husband. u can still be a contender 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 How do you know the guy was not just trying to block you because he's jealous / wants her for himself? Ask her for her number, then for a date - all your questions will be answered, including whether or not she has a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
icebreaker1 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Hey folks. Just wondering what to do with this one. She's a coworker from a different deptartment. I've had very mixing signals from her over the last few months but at the same time she's like super friendly, until that is of a recent work nights out. Most recent one, she kept pulling me onto the dance floor etc and kept me close to her pretty much all night. She laughed and we laughed etc etc. I was slowly working my way in and already gave her a few cheeky pecks on different areas around her face and kissing her hand as she responded with her melting giggles. Everyone was drunk. She then went to the toilet, then one of the guys was like you need to get her to leave her boyfriend and get with her and I was thinking what the f.. at this point. Why did she not mention this? Back at work now, and so I've not spoken to her except for a "hi how are you" as she passed by.. Feeling awkward.. Should I confront her? I'm starting to develop some feelings but I'm not one for ruining people's relationships.. But at the same time I don't even know if could trust her if we started but a friend said to me "if she wasn't interested, she would've said that she had a bf to push you away" So I don't know whether it would be a good idea to confront her or not.. Anyone been in a similar position?? Yes she gave me her number that night before she left but I don't wanna text her out the blue I think this happens way too often. A woman who seems interested but in the end has...(surprise!) a boyfriend. It's unfair and heartbreaking. She's in your company, so why don't you just have a chat with her? You really don't know for sure whether she has a boyfriend. At this time, it's just hearsay. Why not clear the air and ask? I must say that I don't like the word confront. There is no confrontation to be had. You're just merely getting information at this point, period. She does sound interested in you and seems attracted to you even. And it seems that you feel the same way. This could the basis of a really good relationship. I say, it's worth a try. Try not to get way too intense with your feelings for her yet. If it doesn't work out, trust me, it can be brutal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks for the responses! Yeah confrontation was probably a poor choice of wording. She's off on holiday at the moment but I did have a brief chat with her and she only mentioned to me that she was going away with a "friend". I never asked if male or female as it just sounds a bit needy. On the note on the guy telling me that she had a boyfriend, I don't think he was blocking at all. Meanwhile, I have been doing a bit of digging with one colleague and she hasn't heard anything about her status in a while so I've been trying to get her to find out haha Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I would simply casually mention "someone told me you have a boyfriend?" and see what she says? If she says she does, then you can take that opportunity to show her you are a loyal person by saying you like her but because she has a boyfriend you can just be friends. I think that will impress most women, and if it turns out she is not happy with her BF it puts you in a very good position to be her next Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Not a good idea to "confront." Ask her casually in conversation. If she does confirm she has a boyfriend then leave it at that unless and until she is single again. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I would simply casually mention "someone told me you have a boyfriend?" and see what she says? If she says she does, then you can take that opportunity to show her you are a loyal person by saying you like her but because she has a boyfriend you can just be friends. I think that will impress most women, and if it turns out she is not happy with her BF it puts you in a very good position to be her next Why does he need to impress her with his loyalty? Why can't she impress him with her loyalty (or lack thereof) to her current boyfriend? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 being a boyfriend isn't being a husband. u can still be a contender wtf? that's just wrong 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 What I'm gonna do is pretend I don't know anything until she mentions it to me. She's already referred him as a "friend" to me Screw it Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 wtf? that's just wrong Yeah i guess some people have never had their heart broken when the love of your life cheats on you with a coworker. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I love quotes "boyfriends are just details" -My first grade teacher (yes, we weren't in first grade anymore, her son and I were juniors in high school)... Though be warned, she may enjoy the attention and bust your heart like my first love (took my virginity after making me think she was going to break up with bf.. then didn't) OR another good quote to live by "Can't turn a hoe into a housewife" -Ludacris Think about if it works out, and you've been together for 1.5 years and it starts getting boring, and she goes out with her coworkers for some drinks.... What will be on your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 What I'm gonna do is pretend I don't know anything until she mentions it to me. She's already referred him as a "friend" to me Screw it I wish I was better at posting all my thoughts in one post. I liked this girl in college who kept referring to her 'friend'. I ended up only finger banging her and then she decided to tell me he was a 'boy'friend. And I liked her. Shows what I get for opening up to some dumb hoe. Seriously man, why would you find her attractive after you see this shadiness and lack of integrity? I worry about you. You know how girls are delusional for thinking they can change the bad boy? We're just as ****ing delusional for thinking that we're better than the boyfriend.. in reality, it's the girl that sucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Just because a random guy says she has a BF, doesn't make it true. For all you know, he is trying to discourage you so he can have a run at her. My advice? Talk to the source. Tell her that you had fun, and that you'd like to get to know her better outside of work if she doesn't have a boyfriend. If she says she's single, tell her that you'll call her soon to set up a date w-her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I have a goldfish. Why do people hold up bf/gf on such a high pedestal? Unless you are married, engaged, or in some pseudo-marriage, say living together, you are still single. It's rare to find a quality mate who is completely unattached. I'm not advocating breaking up families and stuff, but the fact that she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. If you want her, convince her to be with you instead. It's the way the world works. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 I wish I was better at posting all my thoughts in one post. I liked this girl in college who kept referring to her 'friend'. I ended up only finger banging her and then she decided to tell me he was a 'boy'friend. And I liked her. Shows what I get for opening up to some dumb hoe. Seriously man, why would you find her attractive after you see this shadiness and lack of integrity? I worry about you. You know how girls are delusional for thinking they can change the bad boy? We're just as ****ing delusional for thinking that we're better than the boyfriend.. in reality, it's the girl that sucks. That's a very very valid point but majority of people are tend to be ignorant till it happens to them. I've thought about it and kinda haven't invested that much emotions over it. But **** it, I'll play along and see what she says. Not gonna hang on for her. "Every football (soccer) team has a goal keeper, what's stopping you from scoring?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Just because a random guy says she has a BF, doesn't make it true. For all you know, he is trying to discourage you so he can have a run at her. My advice? Talk to the source. Tell her that you had fun, and that you'd like to get to know her better outside of work if she doesn't have a boyfriend. If she says she's single, tell her that you'll call her soon to set up a date w-her. Like a bit of cynicism. Nah he wasn't after her himself for sure tho Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Just because a random guy says she has a BF, doesn't make it true. For all you know, he is trying to discourage you so he can have a run at her. My advice? Talk to the source. Tell her that you had fun, and that you'd like to get to know her better outside of work if she doesn't have a boyfriend. If she says she's single, tell her that you'll call her soon to set up a date w-her. Yeah let's not did the girl too badly until we know the facts :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 *diss the girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 well the other guy wasn't putting me off, he was actually encouraging me to get me to get her to leave her bf lol. And the facts are out that she does in fact have a boyfriend. Feel slightly gutted. She'll be back at work next week, don't know if I could talk to her without breaking down Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostguy18 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 Right here are some facts I know for sure; She does have a boyfriend, and the other guy that initially told me to get with her and told me that she had a boyfriend is not trying to get in the way but completely opposite. So yeah, I haven't seen her since she's been back from her holiday but she definitely does have a boyfriend but she didn't tell me, it was from another colleague that had her Facebook. There was another works night out and I was hoping for her to be there so I could say to her along the lines of "hey, I really like you bla bla but I know you have a boyfriend etc, I want you to be happy however if anything was going to happen between you two, I'd love to take you out etc etc" something sincere like that and basically walk away from that Now, she wasn't out so I couldn't do anything but the guy that had been encouraging me and initially told me to get her to leave her boyfriend told me this - "she likes you". He said he was trying to tell me previous outings but he obviously struggled to when his blood steam was filled with alcohol lol Whether this is true or not, I do believe him after all these signals and looks I get off her and it feels like it's just something to throw in the mix of confusion. And especially how she mentioned she was going on holiday with her "friend" when it was actually her boyfriend. Is she just keeping me as an option? (this really annoys me) Shall I still say to her what I was going to say? Or just keep my distance? Link to post Share on other sites
icebreaker1 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I think I am vaguely familiar with this kind of situation. I would tell her that I like her and ask her to give me a call after she's finished with her boyfriend. In the meantime, there's no harm for you to shop around for another young lady. One thing you have to consider though is do you really want to be involved with a woman who is potentially unfaithful to her boyfriend? If she becomes your girlfriend, will she do the same to you? Right here are some facts I know for sure; She does have a boyfriend, and the other guy that initially told me to get with her and told me that she had a boyfriend is not trying to get in the way but completely opposite. So yeah, I haven't seen her since she's been back from her holiday but she definitely does have a boyfriend but she didn't tell me, it was from another colleague that had her Facebook. There was another works night out and I was hoping for her to be there so I could say to her along the lines of "hey, I really like you bla bla but I know you have a boyfriend etc, I want you to be happy however if anything was going to happen between you two, I'd love to take you out etc etc" something sincere like that and basically walk away from that Now, she wasn't out so I couldn't do anything but the guy that had been encouraging me and initially told me to get her to leave her boyfriend told me this - "she likes you". He said he was trying to tell me previous outings but he obviously struggled to when his blood steam was filled with alcohol lol Whether this is true or not, I do believe him after all these signals and looks I get off her and it feels like it's just something to throw in the mix of confusion. And especially how she mentioned she was going on holiday with her "friend" when it was actually her boyfriend. Is she just keeping me as an option? (this really annoys me) Shall I still say to her what I was going to say? Or just keep my distance? Link to post Share on other sites
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