So...I hear she might be pregnant...

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I'm still reading this mate, I just haven't been posting because I've slipped into a depression myself the last couple weeks over my own ex.

 

Good job breaking that 200lb barrier, what's your target?

 

Keep on living indeed, don't let them or anyone stop you moving forward.

 

No problem DK; I've been tracking your story as well. Hang in there, man. It can always get better and it will. You can always PM me if you need somebody to talk to.

 

I'm 5' 5", so my goal at the moment is around 175-180. 200 was my first target so I'm pretty happy about that. I've been doing a 10 - week mass building program and I'm seeing pretty good results so far.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I went to Walmart today to do some shopping and gee, who do I see in the parking lot. Yep, my ex and her baby daddy. I ignored them and went on my way but it felt like all of my feelings came crashing down on me. They didn't seem affectionate at all...when we were together we were always holding hands, stuff like that. He was like 3 feet away from her the whole time. This is literally the hardest time I've ever had in my life. I feel a little better now but it still hurts how completely she's moved on and I'm left picking up the pieces.

 

I'm seriously considering selling this house and getting the hell out of this whole side of the state. Other than my parents there's nothing here for me now.

[15Love]

I'm sorry, I can feel your pain. I think it's not a horrible idea, leaving town. It would do you a world of good. You need to get your head above that tangled web.

[qubist]

man you can do better, force yourself to get over . hint: the best way to forget about a woman is another woman.

man if she only can read this and know how much you loved her she will never find a guy like you, but that's her loss not yours, you deserve better.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Thanks qubist; your words mean a lot. I don't think I'm in any shape to try dating just yet...if the opportunity presents itself, sure, but I'm not actively looking right now. I'm using this time to learn to love and understand myself. Hopefully that will help me avoid situations like this again.

 

I have a feeling she knows how much I loved her but she allowed herself to get to the point where she didn't care. I think she has extremely low self-esteem and thinks having a baby will improve that. I hope for her and the child I'm wrong.

[qubist]

Thanks qubist; your words mean a lot. I don't think I'm in any shape to try dating just yet...if the opportunity presents itself, sure, but I'm not actively looking right now. I'm using this time to learn to love and understand myself. Hopefully that will help me avoid situations like this again.

 

I have a feeling she knows how much I loved her but she allowed herself to get to the point where she didn't care. I think she has extremely low self-esteem and thinks having a baby will improve that. I hope for her and the child I'm wrong.

people that lack self esteem normally do not know what they need and end up making mistakes. you shouldn't concern yourself with her life. I understand that's easier form me tell you forget about her today but reality is it will take time. jut try to not thing about her life , talking to other women is proven to help like you,i know you are not ready for a new relationship yet but just try to talk to others girls without investing much emotions for now.use just to distract your thought of your ex

[Ijustdon'tgetit]

people that lack self esteem normally do not know what they need and end up making mistakes. you shouldn't concern yourself with her life. I understand that's easier form me tell you forget about her today but reality is it will take time. jut try to not thing about her life , talking to other women is proven to help like you,i know you are not ready for a new relationship yet but just try to talk to others girls without investing much emotions for now.use just to distract your thought of your ex

 

"have a feeling she knows how much I loved her but she allowed herself to get to the point where she didn't care. I think she has extremely low self-esteem and thinks having a baby will improve that. I hope for her and the child I'm wrong."

 

I agree with Qubist. If she really perceived the love you had for her, it'd be different, I think. My ex and I recently have reconciled. One of the things out of his mouth? "I didn't realize how much love you had for me." She maybe trying to "not care" as of now, but one day when she realizes how ruined her life is, it'll kick into that immature head of hers. By then, it'll be too late I hope because you deserve someone who will know when they've got a good thing, Unlucky.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Nothing real dramatic has happened lately. I'm starting a new job on Wednesday (probably temporary until I find something better, but it's a job). Last week I went to Walmart to pick up a few things. As I was walking out, I saw her and the new guy in the parking lot talking to somebody. I'm not sure if they saw me or not (probably) because I walked out and completely ignored them. I'm not going to lie; it set me back a bit, but I was kinda proud of myself for having the strength to ignore them. A month ago I wouldn't have been able to do that.

[Sugarkane]

You dont owe her anything and you arent the father or her partner. I wouldnt bother doing anything, lucky for you, this isnt your problem now.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

You dont owe her anything and you arent the father or her partner. I wouldnt bother doing anything, lucky for you, this isnt your problem now.

 

No, I definitely don't owe her anything and I don't feel like I do either. I don't plan on doing anything. I apologize if I wasn't clear on that. I want nothing to do with her at all.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I haven't posted on here in a while, so here goes...

 

A couple of weeks ago, I quit going to a church here in town because the other guy's parents go there as well...it was just too awkward for me and was affecting my healing. Last Sunday I'm driving home from church and who do I see walking out of the church I used to go to? Yep...my ex and the other guy. This from the woman who wouldn't go to church with me because she "wasn't into the churchy thing". I then find out they've moved BACK to my town. WTF. I wish they would both just piss off. They had no way of knowing I wasn't going to that church anymore; what makes them think that's not just rubbing it in my face? I guess my timing couldn't have been more perfect in regards to changing churches. I know the place they moved into also...really tiny and run-down. I have a feeling that money is becoming an issue (since she's providing the majority of it), and mama's boy couldn't be so far away from his parents.

 

It seems like every time I get to a good place in my mind crap like this pops up to try and knock me back down. I can tell you the workout I had that day was AWESOME. I had a lot of anger to work out.

Edited October 7, 2015 by Unlucky_I_Guess

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I found out today that they got married a couple weeks ago. I had a feeling this was coming. I spoke to the brother of the pastor of my former church and he told me that the guy's parents kind of pressured him into performing the ceremony...he really didn't want to do it but didn't want to anger them either. The pastor's brother also delivered some paperwork I received to her for me. He said she acted surprised and said she thought we were good. Really? She's very delusional I guess. Anyway, he said she seemed uncomfortable that he was there, so he stayed longer. Lol

 

This whole thing has turned into a farce. I'm not even really bothered by this crap anymore. I still want nothing to do with either of them.

 

Onward and Upward.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Well, today I received my first breadcrumb of a sort.

 

I woke up this morning to a text from her asking a question she could easily get the answer to herself. I guess she wasn't kidding when she told my friend she thought we were still good.

 

I was tempted to text her back telling her to get her husband to find the answer. I didn't reply though and I'm not going to. I just find it incredible that she thinks she can contact me out of the blue like that. I didn't think she even had my number still. Doesn't matter...silence is all she's going to get from me.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I don't think anybody is reading this, but here goes...

 

I haven't heard anything more from my ex (thank god). I've now got her number blocked on my phone (I thought it was already; apparently I was wrong).

 

I've been feeling a bit better lately. Not totally healed but getting there. My mind knows that someone who can leave you and be pregnant and married 6 months later is not someone I want in my life. My heart just needs to catch up. I get sad sometimes thinking about all that she threw away, but I also realize it was all a lie. People definitely suck sometimes, but I'm determined to come out of this a better person than when I went in. I've lost about 60 pounds so far and I feel GREAT. I just need to find someone on my level someday, but I'm in no hurry.

[mrs rubble]

I don't think anybody is reading this, but here goes...

 

I haven't heard anything more from my ex (thank god). I've now got her number blocked on my phone (I thought it was already; apparently I was wrong).

 

I've been feeling a bit better lately. Not totally healed but getting there. My mind knows that someone who can leave you and be pregnant and married 6 months later is not someone I want in my life. My heart just needs to catch up. I get sad sometimes thinking about all that she threw away, but I also realize it was all a lie. People definitely suck sometimes, but I'm determined to come out of this a better person than when I went in. I've lost about 60 pounds so far and I feel GREAT. I just need to find someone on my level someday, but I'm in no hurry.

 

I've just read the whole thread, you're doing great! Stay strong.

Have you got another job? After the temp one?

Have you thought again about moving out of town?

You have so much ahead of you to look forward to, go out and grab it!

[jakrbbt]

Right now, it sounds like you're healing. This is not the fun part, but it's a necessary part.

 

I always want to get this part over with as soon as possible. And what I mean by that is, sooner than possible. That's backfired in the past. Though I will say, I am not one of those people who thinks it's necessary to stay single in order to heal. Depends on the situation. The only thing that is necessary, is healing.

 

It sounds like you're disappointed because you originally thought something might work out long-term (even if you now believe you were wrong to have that hope with that particular person). Disappointment can feel bitter, it can feel like anger, it can feel like being cheated, wanting to forget you ever were duped, wanting to move on but not knowing why you sort of can't (because you're disappointed).

 

Think of what that means about you. It means, most likely, that you're a person who wants a long-term relationship with someone who's committed. Maybe you also want a family. It's very good to know these things about yourself. It's more rare than you think. You're disappointed because you value romance and meaningful relationships. You see them as a meaningful part of your life, of your future. That says volumes of good things about your character. It also gives you a bit of a road map. I see it as a huge positive.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I've just read the whole thread, you're doing great! Stay strong.

Have you got another job? After the temp one?

 

Have you thought again about moving out of town?

 

You have so much ahead of you to look forward to, go out and grab it!

 

Okay, here goes...

 

No, I'm still working the temp job. I had an interview last week at a museum, but no word back yet. Fingers crossed.

 

It crosses my mind to move occasionally , but I might stick it out here. I like my house, I like this town and I have much more friends here than they do. I'm not going to allow her to run me out of town.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words! It's still tough sometimes but it's getting better.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Unlucky_I_Guess

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Right now, it sounds like you're healing. This is not the fun part, but it's a necessary part.

 

I always want to get this part over with as soon as possible. And what I mean by that is, sooner than possible. That's backfired in the past. Though I will say, I am not one of those people who thinks it's necessary to stay single in order to heal. Depends on the situation. The only thing that is necessary, is healing.

 

It sounds like you're disappointed because you originally thought something might work out long-term (even if you now believe you were wrong to have that hope with that particular person). Disappointment can feel bitter, it can feel like anger, it can feel like being cheated, wanting to forget you ever were duped, wanting to move on but not knowing why you sort of can't (because you're disappointed).

 

Think of what that means about you. It means, most likely, that you're a person who wants a long-term relationship with someone who's committed. Maybe you also want a family. It's very good to know these things about yourself. It's more rare than you think. You're disappointed because you value romance and meaningful relationships. You see them as a meaningful part of your life, of your future. That says volumes of good things about your character. It also gives you a bit of a road map. I see it as a huge positive.

 

Yeah, I'm getting better day by day. The main reason for my disappointment I guess is the betrayal involved in all of this. I view an engagement as a serious commitment...Apparently she didn't feel the same way. Oh well, I still have my life, family and friends, and I don't need her to continue enriching them. It's all on me.