Zagan Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 This went from a discussion about getting rid of a pursuer to a debate about male domestic abuse? 1
Author tkgirl Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 If internet responses are your bases on how to handle things in person, I don't think you'd fare to well out in public. There are several studies on internet behavior phenomena. The fact that people don't behave according to social norms in their internet facets/online personas. I'm sorry that you ladies have to go through this, but as men, we also have our fair share of violent women to deal with..... blah blah blah........ I asked for advice... that used to be what we do here, but like I said it's been a while. I guess now it's hijack a thread for your own personal rants about whatever... This went from a discussion about getting rid of a pursuer to a debate about male domestic abuse? yeah. WTF?! OP, one it's really cool to see an old-timer posting and, two, you're getting up into my age range and, if hints don't work and you don't want to do direct, you're bound to have some nice male friends, one who can stop by for a visit or two to catch up. I've got a friend we call 'big Dave' and yup, all 6'4" and 300lbs of him and he'll hug you to death but strangers cringe around him. Just smile, put your arm around him, and walk through the door since your amorous neighbor lives right next door. Then play some sex tapes loud. Heh. Be creative. Make this annoying issue fun, even if the solution doesn't work. Life's short. best idea yet! I'm gonna go find me a big Dave!!!
Zagan Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 OP, one it's really cool to see an old-timer posting and, two, you're getting up into my age range and, if hints don't work and you don't want to do direct, you're bound to have some nice male friends, one who can stop by for a visit or two to catch up. I've got a friend we call 'big Dave' and yup, all 6'4" and 300lbs of him and he'll hug you to death but strangers cringe around him. Just smile, put your arm around him, and walk through the door since your amorous neighbor lives right next door. Then play some sex tapes loud. Heh. Be creative. Make this annoying issue fun, even if the solution doesn't work. Life's short. Everyone knows a Dave.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 It's important not to say "I have a boyfriend" . 1) He's your neighbor and would've seen a guy coming/going by now. 2) You would have mentioned the BF prior during the numerous times he asked you out. Instead say "I actually just started seeing someone, so I'm not available to date right now". Then get one of your male friends to hang out at your place and make it a point to get your neighbor to see him. After that, it should take care of itself.
LoveRefreshed Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) blah blah blah........ I asked for advice... that used to be what we do here, but like I said it's been a while. I guess now it's hijack a thread for your own personal rants about whatever... yeah. WTF?! best idea yet! I'm gonna go find me a big Dave!!! My advice was to be direct and not lie. Seriously, the first response, check it out. To which we discussed the merits of being direct after lollipopspot and some otherone told us that your neighbor is going to get all violent and aggressive. So lie! So my advice of being direct was being backed up with truthful information about the violent nature of men (or lack of). But whatever, you probably just think your neighbor is a violent psycho because he has a penis too. Edited August 7, 2015 by LoveRefreshed
Author tkgirl Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 My advice was to be direct and not lie. Seriously, the first response, check it out. To which we discussed the merits of being direct after lollipopspot and some otherone told us that your neighbor is going to get all violent and aggressive. So lie! So my advice of being direct was being backed up with truthful information about the violent nature of men (or lack of). But whatever, you probably just think your neighbor is a violent psycho because he has a penis too. thanks LR and no, I don't think all men are violent... not at all! I actually really like men! but I do think what happened with the one ex boyfriend... that basically stalked me and then one time did get physical after which I had him arrested and then got the restraining order! that still has an affect on me even to this day... I feel like anytime a guy gets too close my space (like moves next door to me!) and I don't really know him or trust him... it makes me uneasy. I have to get over it though... I think this guys seems nice enough, just a little clueless. So next time I see him I'm going to be direct and say something like "listen, your my neighbor and we can be friendly, but I have no interest in anything more than that" Everyone knows a Dave. and if that doesn't work I'm going to find me a Dave! I used to know a Dave... he was my neighbor at my last place and we got to be good friends... he did tell me back then that he liked me though so that could make all this even more awkward! maybe there should be a Rent-A-Dave!!
LoveRefreshed Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Some men really are clueless. Maybe a bit arrogant or something to think a girl wouldn't be interested. Also, some men are just relentless.. ask 100 girls a 100 times.. you know. I have seen guys ask a girl over and over again and then like a year later, they end up dating. The reason why I mention to be honest and not use another guy as a reason is because when I was a kid growing up, my first grade (female) teacher told me (and her son, when we were in high school) that boyfriends are just details. A lot of guys, if they like a girl, will not stop just because she has a boyfriend. So many posters here complaining how their gf is talking to dudes who want to bone them.. orbiters. Anyway, I just think it's better to be direct. Usually I'd trust my personal judgement. If the guy seems unhinged, then sure, lie to him. But most normal men aren't anywhere near violent over a rejection. I've not a single male friend that has ever hit a woman, and I have a lot of friends. Good luck though! 1
stillafool Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Tell him you make it a habit to never date your neighbors or co-workers so thanks but no thanks. If he asks why you went out with him the first time tell him because you thought it was casual but now you see he wants more and you don't. 4
Timshel Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Tell him you make it a habit to never date your neighbors or co-workers so thanks but no thanks. If he asks why you went out with him the first time tell him because you thought it was casual but now you see he wants more and you don't. Rules to live by ^^. Signed, 'never date a neighbor' nat'l spokesperson. 1
hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Be direct. Look man, I'm not interested in you, nor will I be. Please stop asking me out. Then, the next time If you can't stop harassing me, I will not even talk to you. Yes, she will have to be mean and direct. If she gives him a soft no, he will take that as a maybe. If that doesnt work, ignore him.
hotpotato Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 That "i have a bf" stuff wont work if hes really interested. Many guys will hang around a girl and wait for her bf to eff up.
SammySammy Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 If he's her next door neighbor, he probably is pretty sure she doesn't have a boyfriend. Lying to him, beating around the bush or giving him hints are not going to work. Just directly tell the guy the truth - you're not interested in dating him - and let the chips fall where they may. If he gets butt-hurt, then that's even more reason you were right to not date him. He'll get over it.
sweeeeetie82 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 yeah thatll teach that scumbag That's something I would say lol
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