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Trying to hard to make this work?


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Posted

I have been seeing this great guy for a year and a half. He's so wonderful in so many ways, but I am just not sure if he is the right guy for me. Our sex life is dull (it's never been a real thrill) and sometimes I wonder if I am just trying to hard to make this work. I wish there was some sort of check-list to help me clarify my feelings? One day I just want to call it quits...the next day (or next week) I am thinking I am the luckiest girl in the world (except for the sex part, which, for me, might not be a deal breaker.) Am I crazy? Overthinking? Help!

Posted

Hi OM!

 

There is a sort of checklist that helped me a lot. (I left my XH, also a great guy, over a year ago.) It's in a book by Mira Kirshenbaum called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay.

 

The book isnt a cure-all ... I used to to talk myself into staying years ago, before we were married. But maybe, if you're more honest with yourself than I was back then, it'll help you get some clarity.

 

-JQP

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Posted

Thanks Janie. I will look at the book. Last night I wrote a lot about this and made a 'checklist' of things I need in a partner. He is some of those things, but not all. I guess I just need to figure out if what is lacking is a real deal breaker. We've been talking about moving in together, but if I'm not sure now, I'm not sure living together would make it any better.

 

OM

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