HappyNow70 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 I just recently joined this forum. I can genuinely feel the pain of the OW that are posting...I remember how much it hurts. A few things I would have liked to know or that I learned: -If you set a deadline, tell others about it. Tell your family members and friends that know of the affair. If he doesn't come though you will need SUPPORT to go NC. Tell them to do what they can to make you stick to it. Telling the forum is good too but you will need real people to hold you to your deadline. -If he does leave, prepare yourself for the grief that may follow on his end. Even if he doesn't want to be with his wife, especially if he has children, he will grieve the loss of the family. He will lose his in-laws, his children at least half the time, he may lose friends. It will take time, he may not as happy as you are about leaving even if its the right thing to do. The feeling of loss is very real. -Research the child custody laws in your area. Justifiably so..the wife will be ANGRY and bitter. She will NOT want you around her children. You will not become the insta-happy family. Again, remember even if the marriage sucked it is still a LOSS for both parties. Getting an apartment and leaving may be viewed as abandonment in some states. Do what you can to protect his time with his children before he leaves. -It takes BALLS to leave. Right now he is a chicken**** and is having his cake and eating it too. If he can't leave it doesn't mean you aren't good enough...it means he isn't strong enough. Please remember that. 4
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