polkadotspots Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 So I've known this guy for about 2 months now that I'm interested in, he approached me at a cafe and chatted me up and I thought he was actually pretty funny and charming and not annoying in any way. So we exchange numbers and a few weeks later we meet up at the same cafe and have a nice time just chatting and flirting, we also meet up later the same week and I feel like we have a good connection and chemistry? Since then we've gone out to dinner once and have hung out at a bar/lounge place and chatted and made out and whatnot. So I really like this guy he's been texting me cute things like "good morning pretty girl" and other silly cliche things. About a week ago he had to move apartments so he wasn't texting as much which is understandable, moving is stressful and he's currently staying at a friend's until he moves into his new place. But it seems like he's been texting me less and less frequently lately and I can't tell if it's because he's busy or losing interest in me? He says he has a new work schedule from 11am-7pm and he works at a bookstore for a college so it's busy season for them since school is about to start. But for the past two times I've tried arranging a time to hang out with him he's told me he's just too busy either doing things for a new job application or for going to his part time job? He did ask me if I could still hang out with his new work schedule and all but I'm starting to lose faith that he really wants to hang out and go on dates with me. I want to be positive and optimistic and just tell myself that's he's been busy and stressed out lately but the cheery "good morning pretty!" texts have ceased. Anyway, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm just worrying over nothing and should give him some time and space or if I should just forget about this guy and move on?
oldshirt Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 So I've known this guy for about 2 months now that I'm interested in, he approached me at a cafe and chatted me up and I thought he was actually pretty funny and charming and not annoying in any way. So we exchange numbers and a few weeks later we meet up at the same cafe and have a nice time just chatting and flirting, we also meet up later the same week and I feel like we have a good connection and chemistry? Since then we've gone out to dinner once and have hung out at a bar/lounge place and chatted and made out and whatnot. So I really like this guy he's been texting me cute things like "good morning pretty girl" and other silly cliche things. About a week ago he had to move apartments so he wasn't texting as much which is understandable, moving is stressful and he's currently staying at a friend's until he moves into his new place. But it seems like he's been texting me less and less frequently lately and I can't tell if it's because he's busy or losing interest in me? He says he has a new work schedule from 11am-7pm and he works at a bookstore for a college so it's busy season for them since school is about to start. But for the past two times I've tried arranging a time to hang out with him he's told me he's just too busy either doing things for a new job application or for going to his part time job? He did ask me if I could still hang out with his new work schedule and all but I'm starting to lose faith that he really wants to hang out and go on dates with me. I want to be positive and optimistic and just tell myself that's he's been busy and stressed out lately but the cheery "good morning pretty!" texts have ceased. Anyway, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm just worrying over nothing and should give him some time and space or if I should just forget about this guy and move on? He's not in jail or abducted by aliens which means if he wanted to he would. If he had said, "I am going to be tied up hauling furniture and getting the utilities hooked up Thurs and Fri but we could go out Sat afternoon..." I would say you are still in the running. But any time someone simply says they are "busy" with no timeline on when they can meet up again, that is a 'thanks but no thanks.' This was a near miss. I am sorry. Go on about your business and do whatever you want. If he calls you up some day and wants to get together, you can take it or leave it depending on what you feel like at that time. but in the mean time, don't be sitting around waiting to hear from him.
Author polkadotspots Posted August 6, 2015 Author Posted August 6, 2015 He did take about two/three weeks to arrange a meet up after we first met so I don't know if that counts for anything. But you're right, I should just delete his number and move on. If he was really interested in me he would have suggested a time to hang out in the future and not just given me the "I'm busy" excuse. I still can't get over the fact that he asked if I could still hang out ...that's giving me some glimmer of hope but it's probably nothing. It just sucks because my dating/love life has been so ****ty lately but oh well.
yxalitis Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 He did take about two/three weeks to arrange a meet up after we first met so I don't know if that counts for anything. But you're right, I should just delete his number and move on. If he was really interested in me he would have suggested a time to hang out in the future and not just given me the "I'm busy" excuse. I still can't get over the fact that he asked if I could still hang out ...that's giving me some glimmer of hope but it's probably nothing. It just sucks because my dating/love life has been so ****ty lately but oh well. Probably met someone else he prefers
oldshirt Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 I still can't get over the fact that he asked if I could still hang out ...that's giving me some glimmer of hope but it's probably nothing. . That is probably just keeping a door open and keeping you on the list for a potential booty call or FWB at some point should the need arise. But I think the real bottom line here is he didn't have anything against you and probably had a nice time and thought you were a nice, decent person. You just didn't rock his socks off and didn't stand out as "the one." .... or 'one of the ones.' This was a near-miss. People have them all the time and there is no shame, no harm, no foul here. Just keep on keeping on here and go on about your business and don't sit by the phone waiting for him. If is some other opportunity comes along, take it. If he happens to call you out of the blue to hang out or calls you in the middle of the night for a late night booty call, you can handle that however you want at that time.
Redhead14 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 So I've known this guy for about 2 months now that I'm interested in, he approached me at a cafe and chatted me up and I thought he was actually pretty funny and charming and not annoying in any way. So we exchange numbers and a few weeks later we meet up at the same cafe and have a nice time just chatting and flirting, we also meet up later the same week and I feel like we have a good connection and chemistry? Since then we've gone out to dinner once and have hung out at a bar/lounge place and chatted and made out and whatnot. So I really like this guy he's been texting me cute things like "good morning pretty girl" and other silly cliche things. About a week ago he had to move apartments so he wasn't texting as much which is understandable, moving is stressful and he's currently staying at a friend's until he moves into his new place. But it seems like he's been texting me less and less frequently lately and I can't tell if it's because he's busy or losing interest in me? He says he has a new work schedule from 11am-7pm and he works at a bookstore for a college so it's busy season for them since school is about to start. But for the past two times I've tried arranging a time to hang out with him he's told me he's just too busy either doing things for a new job application or for going to his part time job? He did ask me if I could still hang out with his new work schedule and all but I'm starting to lose faith that he really wants to hang out and go on dates with me. I want to be positive and optimistic and just tell myself that's he's been busy and stressed out lately but the cheery "good morning pretty!" texts have ceased. Anyway, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm just worrying over nothing and should give him some time and space or if I should just forget about this guy and move on? Just let him lead. Don't initiate anything with him until he starts demonstrating on a consistent basis that he's interested. Give him tons of space. Don't think about him. If it takes him a month to contact you again, hit the reset button. Listen to him, decide whether you're still interested and go from there and then you continue to observe whether he's demonstrating enough to you to keep you interested.
xcupid Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 A guy who's interested will make the time no matter how busy he is. In his case, he sounds genuinely busy and your schedules seem to clash. Pretty little texts don't cut it, IMO. They're like bait on a hook. He has to do more than that. Time to rethink whether it's worth wasting time with him. If you don't contact him he might just step up his game. Good luck.
Redhead14 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 He did take about two/three weeks to arrange a meet up after we first met so I don't know if that counts for anything. But you're right, I should just delete his number and move on. If he was really interested in me he would have suggested a time to hang out in the future and not just given me the "I'm busy" excuse. I still can't get over the fact that he asked if I could still hang out ...that's giving me some glimmer of hope but it's probably nothing. It just sucks because my dating/love life has been so ****ty lately but oh well. Oftentimes, when a man is very slow to initiate a real date, it's because they are being cautious about the woman knowing that women tend to get "attached" quickly or at least more quickly than they do. This is often the behavior of an emotionally unavailable man. They keep some distance while throwing out "breadcrumbs" to a woman to keep her minimally interested at least. When they get comfortable enough, they will initiate sex, but will remain distant. Personally, I wouldn't respond, but you really don't know for sure what's what with this guy due to moving, etc. It's kinda gray right now. Just sit back and observe and date other guys . . .
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