Pages Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months. Currently he's away on a business for about 2 weeks. We texted the first few days of his trip and made plans to see each other when he got back. Now my question is, should I leave him be? I don't want to be hounding him, but I also know he didn't really want to go since he's been a little blue lately (super stressed at work, issues with his dog being sick, got into a row with his sister). My plan was to give him space to just chill out and then text or call him in a few days to see how he was doing. From my perspective, that's reasonable, but I'm worried he'll take it as me not caring about how he's doing over there. Thoughts?
CarrieT Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Who was the last one to send a message? In lieu of a text, I might recommend you call him and leave a nice voicemail - not expecting or wanting anything, but just saying something nice to help him through his hard time.
Author Pages Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Who was the last one to send a message? In lieu of a text, I might recommend you call him and leave a nice voicemail - not expecting or wanting anything, but just saying something nice to help him through his hard time. I was. But it was a short, "that sounds good!" In regards to our plans. I don't mind calling him, but we texted yesterday and I'd rather give him some breathing room tonight.
Author Pages Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Give him breathing room. He actually just emailed me to tell me he'd be back several days later. Should I call him anyway?
CarrieT Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 He actually just emailed me to tell me he'd be back several days later. Should I call him anyway? Respond via email and express your disappointment at the delay, suggest something special you can do together when he returns, and wish him well while he is away - and that you are thinking of him. Then leave it at that.
Qboro90 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Don't express your disappointment. At this point in your short relationship this is really not a big deal and nothing to have your first argument over as a couple. Business trips are a pain in the ass, trust me I go on them a lot. You're usually up and around work colleagues or superiors from 7am-9/10pm at night if he's getting dinner with them as well. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to you, it's just that he physically can't. Your best move would be to send him a text saying "hey babe, I miss you, I know you're busy with work so I don't want to interrupt/bother but if you get a chance later when you finish up I'd love to hear your voice even for 2 minutes. Hope everything's going great!" That's all that's needed. 1
katiegrl Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Don't express your disappointment. At this point in your short relationship this is really not a big deal and nothing to have your first argument over as a couple. Business trips are a pain in the ass, trust me I go on them a lot. You're usually up and around work colleagues or superiors from 7am-9/10pm at night if he's getting dinner with them as well. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to you, it's just that he physically can't. Your best move would be to send him a text saying "hey babe, I miss you, I know you're busy with work so I don't want to interrupt/bother but if you get a chance later when you finish up I'd love to hear your voice even for 2 minutes. Hope everything's going great!" That's all that's needed. Um, really? Unless they've both been exchanging I miss you's on a regular basis, I might leave that out. I might also suggest leaving the underlined out...sounds negative and somewhat insecure -- as in .. why should him calling her be a bother to him? He's dating her, he's into her (or supposed to be) right? Her attitude should be "that." Confident....secure. "Hey babe, when you get a chance later, give me a ring, would love to hear your voice...even if just for two minutes! Hope things are going great! Talk soon." JMO and it's how I would handle it. 2
preraph Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Wait a few days OR until you have something interesting to say, but don't just write him to be writing him. If you see his team won a game, write that. If you see a band is coming to town, let him know. Not just "Miss you." 1
darkmoon Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 if you two are not so close that you need to ask Loveshack about him, then be careful to have something good for him to respond to, imo, he is a mystery to me if you just texted a x at least you are easy to a x back, but if you message him whatever, realize that business meetings are demanding, you said "hounding" him yourself, so i think you know you the risk of overdrive, better just keep it light and easy to answer he is a busy guy atmo
Qboro90 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Um, really? Unless they've both been exchanging I miss you's on a regular basis, I might leave that out. I might also suggest leaving the underlined out...sounds negative and somewhat insecure -- as in .. why should him calling her be a bother to him? He's dating her, he's into her (or supposed to be) right? Her attitude should be "that." Confident....secure. "Hey babe, when you get a chance later, give me a ring, would love to hear your voice...even if just for two minutes! Hope things are going great! Talk soon." JMO and it's how I would handle it. I was debating writing the word "bother" during my reply so I see you point on that. I guess I just don't over analyze the meaning of every text/word I send to people but understand that some people would look into that. As for the "I miss you". I see nothing wrong with that. They're dating. Boyfriend/girlfriend. What's wrong with telling your significant other who is away that you miss them. She's allowed to show affection, they're past the initial getting to know each other phase so no need to worry about sounding clingy/needy. I understand that their relationship still is in the very early stages but in my opinion her worrying about when and when not to text, what and what not to say is futile at this point. They've already agreed to date and be with each other. Time to start being themselves. Eventually it will come out so if she's putting on a front by trying to be aloof and carefree then that facade will end eventually. If she wants to talk to him say so. She's not asking for a daily phone call that lasts an hour.
katiegrl Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 I was debating writing the word "bother" during my reply so I see you point on that. I guess I just don't over analyze the meaning of every text/word I send to people but understand that some people would look into that. As for the "I miss you". I see nothing wrong with that. They're dating. Boyfriend/girlfriend. What's wrong with telling your significant other who is away that you miss them. She's allowed to show affection, they're past the initial getting to know each other phase so no need to worry about sounding clingy/needy. I understand that their relationship still is in the very early stages but in my opinion her worrying about when and when not to text, what and what not to say is futile at this point. They've already agreed to date and be with each other. Time to start being themselves. Eventually it will come out so if she's putting on a front by trying to be aloof and carefree then that facade will end eventually. If she wants to talk to him say so. She's not asking for a daily phone call that lasts an hour. Oh I 100% agree with you on that...right down to she should not be worrying about it - if she wants to text, she should! I just modified your reply a little.....based on my own experience with being the first one to say "I miss you" tis all. I dunno, I guess she should say it if that is what SHE is comfortable saying. And then the word "bother." But other than that... I am with ya all the way! I find so many people who write into this form walk on eggshells in their relationships... not sure what to say or do.....I guess that's why they're writing in! Anyhoo, to the OP -- whatever makes you feel most comfortable, do that! Keep us posted! 1
losangelena Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Yeah OP, I'd say if you want to text him, text him. If he likes you, I don't see why he'd be bothered to hear from you. Sending a "hope you're doing OK" text every once in a while isn't hounding. If you're really on edge, then just wait for him to text you. I'm sure he will eventually. Finally, don't overthink things. It's a text. 2
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