Things feeling weird with my girlfriend of 5 months

[Dude44555552]

Hello,

 

I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months, she's 19 and I'm 20 years old. We met at college, and have been hanging out for over summer. Our home towns are about 50 minutes apart, so it's not too bad.

 

During college we essentially hung out daily as we clicked very well and got along with each other perfectly. Summer went well too, until the end of july and now this beginning week for August. I had some personal issues that seriously affected my happiness, almost to depression and my girlfriend noticied. I didn't really want to talk about it so I always brushed it off as nothing , but my girlfriend took it as I didn't care about her anymore. Recently she feels like I don't have feelings for each other anymore and that she feels like I no longer make her happy. I told her that she should of told me that earlier and I wasn't really thinking clearly and I never meant for her to feel that way.

 

Things feel differently, I feel she's sort of distant and she told me she's a little upset but if I treat her normal and not be upset she'll feel okay again. I feel sort of that she drifted and that this kind of stained our relationship. I'm not really happy she went ahead and assumed she was the reason why I wasn't happy with her, even though I can see her side. AMong the time I was down in the dumps I told her it was about other issues than her, so I feel I was somewhat communiating with her.

 

I wish she talked to me about this earlier, or perhaps we both talked about it cause a relationship is a partnership of two, because now I feel there's some separation between us and it's sort of been bothering me lately cause now I feel things won't be the same and it's just a recipe for disaster.

 

Thoughts?

 

Thanks for reading

[smackie9]

How about taking responsibility for YOUR lack of communication, and behaving like a cold jerk......YOU are the one that needs to step up and talk to her, more than the half assed way you have been dealing with it so far.

[ExpatInItaly]

It is very difficult dating a person who struggles with depression. She likely felt you were pushing her away and closing down, and many people would take such treatment personally. Even if she didn't cause those problems, they've certainly affected her and your relationship. Your personal issues have unfortunately seeped into a young union, at a time when building a solid foundation is critical.

 

You need to step it up big time. Let her know how exactly you plan to improve things from your end, and ask if she is still open to rebuilding the connection. Ask her what you can do to help her feel loved and appreciated. But don't push too hard. See if she's willing to meet you somewhere in the middle. If she's not, then it's best to let her go.

[Gaeta]

How can you say you wished she had talked to you earlier when YOURSELF you brushed her off at her every attempt to reach to you.

 

Here is what happened. While you were going through your problems and brushing her off you broke your connection. She asked you to continue with the relationship because she hopes time will bring back that connection.

 

Maybe the connection will come back, maybe not.

 

I suggest you stop interrogating her and you start being an amazing boyfriend. Less words and more actions..

[kizik15]

Here is what happened. While you were going through your problems and brushing her off you broke your connection.

My now ex, who just moved to my city, was going through being depressed about it, and pushed me away (I'm sure she meant to) and ruined what we had. So much that I do not love her anymore and think she's selfish and rude.

 

Sometimes we have to go out of our way to let someone know that we still love them, even if we're going through a personal thing. She didn't do that, and lost me, and yes, she wanted to lose me I'm sure.