GypsyGirl966 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 How tacky is it to go have drinks with a friend of the soon-to-be-ex? There is interest on his part, no doubt about it. Ex has moved on, has girlfriend, etc. I am a free agent, it is more the friend issue.
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Throw caution to the wind. What, exactly, do you have to lose? 1
PaperCrane Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 If you feel like destroying their friendship, go right ahead.
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 "Tacky"? On your part? Probably not...unless you're only doing it to throw it in your ex' face to *make him jealous* and/or using his friend to cause your ex some discomfort. "Tacky" on his part? Probably uberly-tacky. Probably even friendship-ruining "tacky". Only you and he know how important those factors might be. If you're both OK with it... ...go for it. Personally, I'd be mortified if ANY of my girlfriends began dating ANY of my exes...unless, of course, my ex was, in fact, The Last Man on the Planet. Best of luck to you...
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I don't see why your EX's buddy would do that to him. But if you two aren't bothered by it, have fun. 2
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I know a girl whose ex cheated on her, big messy split. Ex moved on with the OW. A few years later, she by chance met a friend of the ex, and they got talking, a few weeks later he asked her to a works night out, just as friends, as he didn't have a partner. She said OK, as she wasn't doing anything special and since the cheating episode he had had little to do with his friend (her ex). Three years later, they have just had a baby and are very happy together.
Author GypsyGirl966 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 I have known the friend as long as I've known my ex, we've always gotten along swimmingly well. After his divorce, I set him up on dates a couple of times but nothing worked out. I would say that I have developed a friendship with him over the years apart from being just 'his buddy's wife'. Obviously, he spent more time with my ex, as they've been on mens' sporting teams together, etc. over the years (i.e., activities I cannot participate in). However, my ex has many narcissistic traits, and I am unsure whether that means he would be more or less inclined to care.
HereNorThere Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 It's about as tacky as it gets. Not only tacky, but it's also a pretty desperate move. There's billions of people out there and no reason to date any of your ex's friends or relatives. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you found out he was gettin' it in with one of your friends? Would you be totally cool with that? It's just bad form and reflects badly on you. I just think there's too many fish in the sea to be crossing swords with my friends.
Author GypsyGirl966 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Meh, I think it is between them. It is their friendship. They are getting together later this month, and he is going to ask my ex whether he would care in any way. My ex is very much acting like I'm something he has cast off, that he can do better than me, so why would he object? 1
Toodaloo Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 I don't actually have a problem with this at all. If everyone is over it all and no hard feelings I don't see the problem. I guess it depends on how close he is to your ex. Personally I would tell any woman to run for the hills if they wanted to date my most recent ex as no person should go through that. But the rest in general are great just not for me so whats the problem?
Author GypsyGirl966 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 So.... we met for drinks and it went perfect. We both acknowledged some interest, but we don't really know what that means, etc. Both agreed that it would be best to keep it top secret, 100% off limits to everyone else, regardless of what it does or does not turn into. The look of happiness on his face when I suggested keeping it quiet, priceless!
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