Christophe Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Hi everyone. Have not posted here for a while and will try to keep this brief. Last June (2014) went through a bad break up and now 14 months on I am doing better than I was yet now after 14 months with no sex or intimacy of any kind with anyone I am going crazy! It has become quite a problem for me because this desire for connection and contact with a woman just increases all the time. It feels like such a long time since I had sex that I can't even remember what it feels like. I miss the intimacy a lot and want it again so badly. It has made me very depressed to be honest. I know people will advise me to masturbate now and then but that still does not replace my desire and need for someone real. I just get more and more frustrated really and it doesn't help me feel desirable when my ex was the last person I slept with 14 months ago when we were still together. My lack of intimacy then leads me back to thinking about her inevitably and I don't want to do that. Any help would be really appreciated because I have not been in a good place at recently. Thanks everyone.
jen1447 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 What's the dating landscape like where you are? Also have you considered online stuff? Not to be crass but if you um had a mutual online masturbation partner, that'd offer some level of connection and would be more fulfilling that fapping solo.
Gus Grimly Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I know people will advise me to masturbate now and then but that still does not replace my desire and need for someone real. What's stopping you from meeting someone new then? 14 months? You should be pretty over it by this point. Unless it was some sort of epic break up that ruined your life. You should get back out there, lots of single women out there. Just be casual about it.
Author Christophe Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Haha I didn't know there was such a thing as mutual online masturbation partner! Well I have signed up to a dating site just to see what would happen. Took a long time filling in all the information and making a full profile and picked my best photos etc and in a month I have nothing. I messaged about 10-15 different girls and none responded. So that is pretty much a waste of time. Does not help the confidence. But anyway I am meeting quite a lot of girls as friends but obviously biologically I want more than that. Rejoining the gym tomorrow which I know will help my confidence and self-esteem. Trying not to worry about when I meet another girl and when I will next have sex but sometimes I do feel very lonely and just want intimacy so bad. The only reference point I have for sex is with my ex so she comes back into my mind at times too. It's difficult. I just want that feeling back again.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Agreed with Jen. OP, I feel your pain! I was right where you were and it was for a hell of a lot longer than 14 months! I was hornier than a Vikings helmet I'm not sure what kind of guy you are or what kind of "connection" you're looking for be it NSA, FWB, casual dating or full blown relationship. If this is just about sex and feeling a warm body up against yours there are plenty of online sites that can help you with this. If that's not your cup of tea than perhaps you need to get your friends together and hit the bars/clubs on a more regular basis and get back in the game of life. Another option as Jenn mentioned is online play with a partner. This can not only be very exciting but very fulfilling...at the least in the interim. I know it saved me from myself and actually helped to get my mojo back BIG time! If you want more specifics about what I'm talking about PM me. One thing is for sure, you're never going to find someone sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself. Good luck!
jen1447 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 ^ It's true. I've had online GFs I'd get with (online) from time to time (still have one right now) and it's actually pretty great tbh. I don't know that I'd look for them on dating sites tho ....mine have just been friends met elsewhere that became more.
Author Christophe Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Thanks for the replies guys I did not mean to come across that I am sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because that is definitely not the case. I am going out frequently and meeting with friends etc. I guess I just feel like I have lost some confidence in myself that I have never really got back since the break up last year. Like I want to feel a real connection with someone and have meaningful sex and obviously you don't meet someone like that every day. It has only happened once to me and it was so easy. I am meeting people and girls but yet to feel that way for anyone else again so far. I am doing my best to stay positive which can be very hard sometimes. Of course I miss sex and contact with another person but I don't think I could do just casual sex. I would not even know how to suggest that to a girl I liked! I guess I am a pretty old-fashioned romantic guy. I know I have it in me to be a great partner and lover like I was last year. Just frustrating when you feel it's going to waste. 1
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