vincentvin Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Ok so I met this girl in Thailand. No not in a bar but I met her while shopping where I tried to her to pick up. I got her number by using my charming skills. Fast forward 6 months we are in regular contact with each other on phone, video chat and much more. I really like this girl but now after reading a lot about Thai girls(stereotype) that most of them are ladyboys and also my friends keep saying that to me to stay careful. I am in a huge fix. Is my girlfriend also a ladyboy? Well she is quite feminine How the heck do i make out if she is even a real girl. Now please I did not find her in a bar as she is a normal girl who also works. Kindly help me out here peeps on whether I should continue showing my interest to her? PS: I am in LDR with her as of now as I am back to my country but I am planning to meet up soon
RoseVille Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Skype and ask her to show you her genitals. That's the only way to know for sure. 6
Author vincentvin Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Skype and ask her to show you her genitals. That's the only way to know for sure. Are you sure about that? As I have read that with latest surgery methods its impossible to makeout. I have obviously done skype chat many times with her and I find her just normal like other girls. She doesnt show any signs of desperation as well so I am quite confused really:(
Her Bridges Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Are you sure about that? As I have read that with latest surgery methods its impossible to makeout. I have obviously done skype chat many times with her and I find her just normal like other girls. She doesnt show any signs of desperation as well so I am quite confused really:( If you brought this up to her, do you trust her enough, and does she have enough respect for you, to be honest about it? I mean, the only way the "you can't see the scars" issue is even an issue is if you'd think she'd lie to you if it were the case. So, do you trust her to be honest if you asked up front? And, how would this affect your feelings for her? (Obviously it's a "thing" to consider but is it a deal breaker?) 1
HereNorThere Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The term "ladyboy" is kinda offensive, so I almost didn't respond. You should really think about changing that. Even with the most advanced surgery methods and hormone replacement therapy, there are many anatomical tell tale signs. Adams apple, scars, nipple and chest stretching, hip to waist ratio, VOICE, etc. However, for argument's sake, let's say she could really afford the best surgeons with the most advanced stuff on the planet (not likely). I would share pictures of my childhood and ask if she has any of hers. You could also research birth records and things like that for any evidence of a name change. Also, anonymously messaging her social media friends might give you some insight if you were slick about it. Most people simply can't afford what it would take to not be able to tell. Not to mention, even the people who can are still kinda obvious. 5
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Don't date people from a country that are known to get sex changes or tuck it in order to find a sugar daddy.
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Are you sure about that? As I have read that with latest surgery methods its impossible to makeout. I have obviously done skype chat many times with her and I find her just normal like other girls. She doesnt show any signs of desperation as well so I am quite confused really:( If she's had the surgery, she is no longer a "lady-boy"; she is a trans-sexual and is now a woman. A "lady-boy" is a perfectly natural occurrence in societies that recognize more than two genders; a "lady-boy" is a person who was born with male genitalia but acts, dresses, and identifies as a woman...and has no desire to change his genitalia. Often, the youngest boy of a family is groomed to be a "lady-boy". In these such societies, the men move seamlessly between having sex with women AND with lady-boys and there is nothing odd or abnormal about it. Those societies also don't view the men who do this - have sex with lady-boys or being lady-boys - as gay, bi, or bi-curious...it simply is another way to express their sexuality. If it's a concern to you, ask her/him; if she/he is a "lady-boy", they will be honest about it, as in their culture, it's nothing unusual nor shameful. If you discover this person IS a lady-boy and freak out about it, they'll probably assume something is wrong with YOU, as it's understood that's what you were looking for...and they will not understand why you're upset about getting what it is you went looking for. Best of luck to you, OP... 7
Author vincentvin Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Thanks for those replies. I dont find anything wrong with ladyboys or trans but its just that i am not really into it and main problem here is she might be lying to me about all this and I wouldnt know. Hence its a problem for me Don't date people from a country that are known to get sex changes or tuck it in order to find a sugar daddy. Well she doesnt care about my money as she never really asked about anything related to money so no she isnt looking for a sugar daddy. 1
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I really like this girl but now after reading a lot about Thai girls(stereotype) that most of them are ladyboys Most Thai women are ladyboys, are you quite sure about that?????
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Thanks for those replies. I dont find anything wrong with ladyboys or trans but its just that i am not really into it and main problem here is she might be lying to me about all this and I wouldnt know. Hence its a problem for me... Based on what you've posted so far, there is nothing to indicate you've come out and asked him/her directly, so I'm not seeing where "she" has been lying to you. If you are dealing with an honest person, this person will answer truthfully if they are a lady-boy. If he is, he'll say so; if when you ask, the person says they're NOT a lady-boy, then she's a woman. Could the person lie? Sure. Human beings have been lying to one another since the Dawn of Man. But in their culture there's no reason TO lie about it. Don't beat around the bush (pun absolutely intended); just ask. 3
jen1447 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I take it there was no opportunity to verify when you first met her, or that it didn't get to that point before you left ....? 1
RoseVille Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The term "ladyboy" is kinda offensive, so I almost didn't respond. You should really think about changing that. It isn't in Thailand or other SE Asian countries.
RoseVille Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 If she's had the surgery, she is no longer a "lady-boy"; she is a trans-sexual and is now a woman. A "lady-boy" is a perfectly natural occurrence in societies that recognize more than two genders; a "lady-boy" is a person who was born with male genitalia but acts, dresses, and identifies as a woman...and has no desire to change his genitalia. Often, the youngest boy of a family is groomed to be a "lady-boy". In these such societies, the men move seamlessly between having sex with women AND with lady-boys and there is nothing odd or abnormal about it. Those societies also don't view the men who do this - have sex with lady-boys or being lady-boys - as gay, bi, or bi-curious...it simply is another way to express their sexuality. If it's a concern to you, ask her/him; if she/he is a "lady-boy", they will be honest about it, as in their culture, it's nothing unusual nor shameful. If you discover this person IS a lady-boy and freak out about it, they'll probably assume something is wrong with YOU, as it's understood that's what you were looking for...and they will not understand why you're upset about getting what it is you went looking for. Best of luck to you, OP... This. Thai ladyboys shouldn't be confused with trans folks or those in transition. It's a cultural thing, and not one they're ashamed of or embarrassed about. Maybe a little annoyed that you could tell or wondered, as that means the dressing and makeup is a little off-point, but not offended. 1
Author vincentvin Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 I take it there was no opportunity to verify when you first met her, or that it didn't get to that point before you left ....? It never crossed my mind really. I wasnt that knowledgable about it. Also I never knew "normal/regular" girls can also be ladyboys. I guess I will have to ask her directly. Worst that could happen is 1) She might tell the truth 2) Breakup with me considering I asked her a stupid question Only problem is trust here. I have no way to verify whether she tells the truth or not.
Her Bridges Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) It never crossed my mind really. I wasnt that knowledgable about it. Also I never knew "normal/regular" girls can also be ladyboys. I guess I will have to ask her directly. Worst that could happen is 1) She might tell the truth 2) Breakup with me considering I asked her a stupid question Only problem is trust here. I have no way to verify whether she tells the truth or not. The BEST thing that can happen is that she tell the truth. Regardless of female or ladyboy, the truth is what you want. Trust is something you'll have to find yourself. Male or female, if you can't trust her, the relationship has nowhere to go anyways. Edited August 5, 2015 by Her Bridges 1
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 It never crossed my mind really. I wasnt that knowledgable about it. Also I never knew "normal/regular" girls can also be ladyboys. I guess I will have to ask her directly. Worst that could happen is 1) She might tell the truth 2) Breakup with me considering I asked her a stupid question Only problem is trust here. I have no way to verify whether she tells the truth or not. "Normal/regular girls" aren't ladyboys; "[some] normal/regular" boys are. Since it's screaming through, between the lines, in your posts, I seriously suggest you ask this person out-right and right away whether or not they're a "ladyboy". While I get that you're approaching this with the gusto that American men often stereotypically bring to their encounters with Asian women (hell...there's thousands of websites catering to it), the fact remains since you met on their turf and in their culture, there would have been NO reason for this person to divulge their "dirty little secret", if you didn't ask. You DON'T get to take your Western standards ("OOOOoooooo...I'd be digusted! I'd freak out! I'd be mad that *she* lied to me!") and put it on them, especially since you were playing the game on their home-field, with their rules. If it's this big of a deal to you (which, obviously, it is), ASK. If you don't like the answer, then let it go. DO NOT get angry about it..."ladyboy" did NOTHING wrong. 1
SugarLips72 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date trans. Most men won't. Just ask her. Some are very feminine but still have male parts. The Asians are harder to make out because many are fem anyways, petite in stature. Sounds like a legit concern. Ask her and if you do not get the answer you want then stop communicating. Thanks for those replies. I dont find anything wrong with ladyboys or trans but its just that i am not really into it and main problem here is she might be lying to me about all this and I wouldnt know. Hence its a problem for me Well she doesnt care about my money as she never really asked about anything related to money so no she isnt looking for a sugar daddy.
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Other then the day you met this person & got her/his number your entire relationship has been OL or virtual. My suggestion, downgrade this person's status from "girlfriend" to someone you know. Then when you do meet again, you can investigate further. The fact that you are so easily swayed by stereotypes & suggestions made by your friends who have never met this person does not bode well for your ability to assess people IRL or that a truthful / trusting foundation exists for a potential healthy LTR 3
SawtoothMars Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 It never crossed my mind really. I wasnt that knowledgable about it. Also I never knew "normal/regular" girls can also be ladyboys. I guess I will have to ask her directly. Worst that could happen is 1) She might tell the truth 2) Breakup with me considering I asked her a stupid question Only problem is trust here. I have no way to verify whether she tells the truth or not. I would say odds are that your fears are misplaced. You don't have to just ask her straight out... that might be a touch insulting. Instead just have a general discussion with her about gender norms in her culture and include "lady-boys" as a topic. If done correctly this should give her the option to tell you if there is something to tell. 2
mystikmind2005 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I have never yet seen a ladyboy i could not tell, even the ones they make a fuss about in the media. I have even pointed out ladyboys where my ex said no way, and later on it turns out they are! Having said that, i have also seen a few women and thought "hmmmm" best avoid just in case. But, since the OP is already friendly, may as well see it through.
yxalitis Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 The term "ladyboy" is kinda offensive No, it isn't, not to them, not to anyone who knows them. Not even sure why you think it is, it is THE term used to refer to that type of person. 2
yxalitis Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Ok so I met this girl in Thailand. No not in a bar but I met her while shopping where I tried to her to pick up. I got her number by using my charming skills. Fast forward 6 months we are in regular contact with each other on phone, video chat and much more. I really like this girl but now after reading a lot about Thai girls(stereotype) that most of them are ladyboys and also my friends keep saying that to me to stay careful. I am in a huge fix. Is my girlfriend also a ladyboy? Well she is quite feminine How the heck do i make out if she is even a real girl. Now please I did not find her in a bar as she is a normal girl who also works. Kindly help me out here peeps on whether I should continue showing my interest to her? PS: I am in LDR with her as of now as I am back to my country but I am planning to meet up soon IT is 100% HER obligation to TELL YOU. If she was, it should have been mentioned already...after all, what's going to happen if you go up to see her, and THEN find out? The simplest thing is to say: "Oh, yeah, funny thing happened to my friend, he met a girl in Thailand too, took her his hotel, and found out she was a ladyboy...ha, we all laughed" That will prompt a disclosure if applicable, and won't offend her in any case, stories of ladyboy mistakes are common, and if she is 100% female, won't think anything odd about your story. You can of course check out the Adam's apple, that's usually left as is...and is more prominent in men. Or try and have video sex with her...
mrldii Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 IT is 100% HER obligation to TELL YOU... No, it's not...not in their culture. And, that's where he met *her*...on *her* home turf. It is as much an obligation as it is my obligation to state, when meeting men at a non-gay establishment, "Hey...I just want to make sure you know I am a heterosexual woman, who was born a woman, have always been a woman and intend on always being a woman. Just want to make sure you're OK with that..." Again, you're putting Western standards of Western cultures on a land that has their own standards and their own culture; you don't get to do that when visiting Rome... ...or any other 'foreign' country...as OP was.
emi Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Check her voice. Sure they can have surgery but the voice of male and female arent same. Or just say like " i watched a document about sex-transgender on Tv this morning and i find it interesting. Happen to heard alot were in Thai".... Then see how her react
crederer Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 You would probably be able to tell.....If you're even questioning it, there's a strong possibility that she is a transexual. I just re read your post. Is it simply because you heard it's common and your buddies are ribbing you? That's quite the stretch if so. I was picturing her with a raspy voice, large hands and an adams apple.
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