Try to understand this. DESPERATELY trying to figure this out!

[veryconfused1]

Ok folks here goes. I dated a girl for 4 years and it was great. She cheats on me with a guy she works with and knew for 2 months but says she was wrong and sorry and wants to work it out. Two years later she admits she was seeing him behind my back. She leaves to go be with him. 3 weeks later she comes begging me back saying he was the worst mistake she ever made, etc. I was going through a lot with other issues (work...not drugs or alcohol) and I loved her so we got back together. Everything was fine and we got along great (but I'll admit I lost a lot of desire for her) 6 years later I cheated on her (just being honest). She moves out and a couple months later she looks the other guy up on facebook and went back and moved in with the guy she cheated on me with the first time! I know this is messed up but I'm just trying to understand the simple "why"? I couldn't imagine going back to an ex I cheated with but maybe I'm a "guy" and doesn't get it. And by the way he's not rich and not very attractive. Just trying to get some perspective so don't hold back.

[d0nnivain]

Your relationship was dysfunctional to begin with. She went back to him because it was easy. You cheating on her & the break up dealt a blow to her self esteem. Going back to him was like putting butter on a burn -- it initially feels soothing but it's among the worst things for a burn.

 

 

Forget about her. Soothe your own wounds with some introspection & time. Going forward don't be so quick to take back a cheater & when you feel the urge to stray have the courtesy to break up with the other person first.