yummycheese Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 So a little bit of background here. I have a friend who is a little younger than me. All I'll say is that she's not legal until October, whereas I am. This friend and I got very close a few months ago, and I confessed that I liked her. She didn't take it well but we tried to mend our friendship and continue. Long story short, we argued a lot and it all boiled over one day when we decided to cut eachother out of our lives. Two months later, she messages me, apologising for everything and claiming that her anger and confusion in the past was due to liking me back, but being unable to say anything because she felt strange about the age difference, which shouldn't be an issue anyway come October when she's legal. Anyway. We talk about our feelings, she talks about how she's a mess without my guidance. I made her feel safe and valued, etc. I wasn't completely over her either and I do still have feelings for her, and we decided to take it slow and emotionally, seeing what becomes of us with the actual intention to date. Problem is, she's known to flip on her sexuality and feign interest in guys that show her attention. She'll convince herself that she likes them if they like her back because she just wants to be loved. It's never worked out though. However, she's always been sincere and caring with me in the past because I was her best friend. I don't know whether I should continue with this, knowing her past behaviour and that my friends basically hate her, but at the same time, I still do care, and I'm almost certain she's sincere. Any advice would be greatly appreciated from you guys.
Her Bridges Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 1. How much of an age difference? Like 17-18 or more like 17-22? 2. She sounds like the type of girl that needs some alone time. She needs to find "guidance" from within herself. I'm sure someone here will have a psych term for the situation but basically, I'd not get involved with someone who cannot stand on her own two feet emotionally.
CarrieT Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Step back and let her grow up on her own. You don't want to be the guy that she learns how to have a relationship with only to have it all end when maturity finally sets in.
Author yummycheese Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 1. How much of an age difference? Like 17-18 or more like 17-22? It's a five year gap. She'll be 16 in October and I'll be 20. That's all in accordance with English law, and she's not ready for anything sexual until then. Letting her grow up is also what I thought but to be perfectly honest, she's mature for her age, despite her flaws. She's already been in long term relationships with people she really cared about and seems to have learned at least something from them.
Her Bridges Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 It's a five year gap. She'll be 16 in October and I'll be 20. That's all in accordance with English law, and she's not ready for anything sexual until then. Letting her grow up is also what I thought but to be perfectly honest, she's mature for her age, despite her flaws. She's already been in long term relationships with people she really cared about and seems to have learned at least something from them. Mature for her age isn't the same thing as being mature. There's still a big gap between you two and she's already setting herself up to be emotionally dependent on you. It's not healthy for either of you. I understand it being frustrating because of the attraction and what you've already developed with her. But I think even you're aware that pursuing this is not a good idea, despite the short term gratification you might get (that's not a sexual reference, I mean the new-relationship-butterflies and whatnot).
Vercetti Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Screwball jailbait. What's a 20 year old man hanging around 15 year old for. Really, find someone that can order a drink with dinner.
Vintage79 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Screwball jailbait. What's a 20 year old man hanging around 15 year old for. Really, find someone that can order a drink with dinner. Exactly - there's a creeper on the lose - and he goes by OP. OP run away from this one, there are so many red flags - it's not bound to end well...
Author yummycheese Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Screwball jailbait. What's a 20 year old man hanging around 15 year old for. Really, find someone that can order a drink with dinner. Met through mutual friends who went to the same school. We just started talking and got close. Exactly - there's a creeper on the lose - and he goes by OP. OP run away from this one, there are so many red flags - it's not bound to end well... It's not like I go out looking for young girls to try to get with. This just developed as our friendship progressed. It's not like I wanted to have feelings for her, I knew what I'd be in for.
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