Amelie1980 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The no contact guide needs to be updated. To include no talking about your ex. Including on here. Distract yourself. No point being in NC when all you do is talk about them on here. It's keeping it alive in your mind.
mightycpa Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The no contact guide needs to be updated. To include no talking about your ex. Including on here. Distract yourself. No point being in NC when all you do is talk about them on here. It's keeping it alive in your mind.I think it depends. If all you do is pine away at how great they are, then you're right, you're stuck. But if writing here can give you some insights about why someone wasn't so great, or to identify traits that you didn't particularly like, or if your posts and others' advice can help you learn something about yourself that keeps you stuck, well, then it is time well spent. I take it you're stuck in the "he's the greatest thing since sliced toast" phase? If so, you're not being honest with yourself. You're wallowing in self-pity. You're definitely entitled to do that at first, but at some point, it's time to put your adult pants on and get down to the tough work of walking away intact. That's what this board is for. You see it all the time in the good advice you get here. 1
Xiomn Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) The no contact guide needs to be updated. To include no talking about your ex. Including on here. Distract yourself. No point being in NC when all you do is talk about them on here. It's keeping it alive in your mind. But you also have to take into account that like millions of words in the dictionary, everyone has their own interpretation of the definition and NC is by no means an exception. Someone's version of NC might differ to someone else, mainly in the form of the degree. Some people might see NC as simply not contacting the ex, others see it as completely blocking them and getting rid of any evidence etc, you can't just go around claiming a universal definition for NC in hopes everyone follows it. Edited August 5, 2015 by Xiomn
StrangerThanFiction Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The no contact guide needs to be updated. To include no talking about your ex. Including on here. Distract yourself. No point being in NC when all you do is talk about them on here. It's keeping it alive in your mind. I think distraction only goes so far. If you don't talk about your ex or think about them I think that's just attempting to repress the pain and will actually do more harm then good in the long run. I think to really process everything and fully heal you need to talk and think about your ex, at least for a little while. If it becomes an obsessive habit, though, then it's a problem. 1
aloneinaz Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) The no contact guide needs to be updated. To include no talking about your ex. Including on here. Distract yourself. No point being in NC when all you do is talk about them on here. It's keeping it alive in your mind. I agree that people will stay stuck and keep the ex alive in their mind but, I think for the first 2-3 months post break up, it's good to discuss it, rehash it and then get it out of your system. Where I think the problem lies is with the people who chose to stay stuck and continue to talk about their exes and post about them after so many months have past when most people are over their exes or break ups. Look at this site. If you look at old posts from say 3-6 months ago, MOST of those folks are not on here anymore. Why? They got over it, and tired of talking about the ex and moved on with their lives. The only other people that are around after that period are the veterans that come on to help and people who are still "stuck".. Edited August 5, 2015 by aloneinaz
YellowPetal Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 I don't think so. Distracting yourself only makes it worse. I used to distract myself by spending all my time with my friends, cleaning, walking, going to the gym, but as soon as I was by myself, I would get these awful attacks. I'd start crying, shaking and throwing up. This lasted for about a month. I think it's necessary to talk about everything and try to understand why the relationship didn't work out. I feel like I learned so much by reaching to my friends and by coming here.
Recommended Posts