Alyssa_in_the_USA_58 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The guy I am dating (this would be our fourth date, BTW) wants to take me to this Italian restaurant that he likes, that he says can be either somewhat casual or somewhat dressy. I’ve never been there. We will also play miniature golf. That leads me more toward casual, but not as casual as we were at the fair. I think he will do the same. I’ve basically decided on a multi-colored striped t-shirt with a denim skirt (style like #3 below, shade like #2 below, length like #2 and #3 below), and sandals. The sandals is where I could use an opinion. My first thought was these sandals, almost identical in style to those she is wearing (mine are beige in color): Photograph #1: https://thismummasstyle.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/belted-turquoise-top-with-denim-skirt-2.jpg But, I am wondering if these would be better, similar style to mine (mine are white). Photograph #2: https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/e15/11376482_1651247171760860_1488215512_n.jpg My lean, however, are some dressier heeled sandals, very close in style to these (mine are black). I like the idea of having one dressy item in my outfit while the outfit overall is somewhat casual. Photograph #3A: http://www.poorlittleitgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/IMG_0731.jpg Photograph #3B: http://www.poorlittleitgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/IMG_0583.jpg I also considered an outfit like this one, same t-shirt I will be wearing above, but with the skirt as the dressy item (mine is also black) and the shoes casual, same style of Keds as in this photograph, but mine are white, and I would be wearing white socks. I am preferring sandals, especially #3, as indicated, but I haven't totally ruled this one out, either. I would be interested in opinions on this one, as well. Photograph #4: https://jenzhouu.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/img_4409.jpg He seems to be looking forward to this date, as am I, so I would like to be somewhat casual yet look nice at the same time. Do you agree with my preference for #3 or would #1 or #2, or even #4, be better, in your opinion?
Vixen32 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I don't know the guy, nor what you look like - #3 seems nice, in particular if you're more confident in heels - that said, I think the clothing is more for you, unless he's a fashion nut...
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I'm not going to look any of those and just say, a nice short flowy skirt, tank top, then dress it up with a flashy necklace....maybe a shorty sweater if the AC is chilly in the restaurant, flats....tie up your hair in a cute ponytail with some loose curls in it....add hot red lipstick, muted eye shadow. 2
Vercetti Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Your Overthinking it. Try this if wear Jean skirt go with flats, if jeans some wedges or the like. I tend to think top is where can be flashy / risky and everything else a bit muted. The other option, Google the place...a forthright dress might be more in line.....just bring a extra more comfortable paair of shoes for golf. Only bring up dress cause wouldn't want to be underdressed if where eating has a more classic bar.
CarrieT Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Your Overthinking it. T ^ ^ THIS! ^ ^ The guy isn't going to really see what you are wearing.
PegNosePete Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Since when do guys notice what shoes a girl is wearing??
Author Alyssa_in_the_USA_58 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 I don't know the guy, nor what you look like - #3 seems nice, in particular if you're more confident in heels - that said, I think the clothing is more for you, unless he's a fashion nut... I wouldn't say he is a "fashion nut." I have, though, gotten a couple of compliments already . I am 5'5", straight brown hair about halfway down my back. My build is fairly thin, healthy, not anorexic or anything, probably athletic but not "muscular". My skin tone is probably about medium.
jen1447 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I like the #3 heels idea to slightly dress up the otherwise casual look. And of course very few ppl actually examine others' outfits closely, but that never stops ppl from wanting to look nice and dress appropriately. We do it for ourselves thru the lens of the notion that others actually see us and we want them to like what they see. Perfectly normal.
Vercetti Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Since when do guys notice what shoes a girl is wearing?? When the guy isn't wearing a t shirt cargo shorts and a ballcap himself. 2
Lois_Griffin Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) Ugh...the FRUMPY sandals in pictures #1 and #2 are hideous. They look like something a mother of 5 would wear on a Disney cruise. Blech. I like the platform sandals but again, if you're going to be playing miniature golf, not really a good idea to be clumping around all that crazy terrain in heels like that. A mid-range wedgie-heeled open toe sandal would probably serve your purpose better for dinner AND mini golf - and look stylish at the same time. Something like these (I just bought them last week for an upcoming outdoor wedding in a field...lol): http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/417ULh-16pL._SY395_.jpg JMHO. Edited August 5, 2015 by Lois_Griffin
Versacehottie Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I wouldn't say he is a "fashion nut." I have, though, gotten a couple of compliments already . I am 5'5", straight brown hair about halfway down my back. My build is fairly thin, healthy, not anorexic or anything, probably athletic but not "muscular". My skin tone is probably about medium. Now that I know your body type I would say go with sandals from 1 or 2. Or 3 if you must. I like the higher heels too myself and those are totally wearable for mini golf. However, most of the guys I know have some funny (and not nice) things to say about shoes they consider chunky. I think 70's inspired wooden heels while coming back will make for this category of things guys don't always get. Though non chunky heels and even wedges seem to be ok with them. I think they respond to the feminine nature of things which those wooden heels are not. That said, probably not a deal breaker for the guy. And moreover, I think it's important to be who you are and if you like fashion even if it's not to his liking I wouldn't dim that down just to accommodate him or appease him. I do think it's smart for whoever to dress for the event and place you are going so maybe 1&2 are best. I usually never say no to heels if you can work them in because you will feel and act sexier. Just real talk though on what guys think of "chunky" heels.
Author Alyssa_in_the_USA_58 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Now that I know your body type I would say go with sandals from 1 or 2. Or 3 if you must. I like the higher heels too myself and those are totally wearable for mini golf. However, most of the guys I know have some funny (and not nice) things to say about shoes they consider chunky. I think 70's inspired wooden heels while coming back will make for this category of things guys don't always get. Though non chunky heels and even wedges seem to be ok with them. I think they respond to the feminine nature of things which those wooden heels are not. That said, probably not a deal breaker for the guy. And moreover, I think it's important to be who you are and if you like fashion even if it's not to his liking I wouldn't dim that down just to accommodate him or appease him. I do think it's smart for whoever to dress for the event and place you are going so maybe 1&2 are best. I usually never say no to heels if you can work them in because you will feel and act sexier. Just real talk though on what guys think of "chunky" heels. I see that I need to clarify LOL...My black heeled sandals I am considering are not platform, and have a black sole and heel. My straps are fabric, which makes the sandal a summer shoe in my mind, which is part of why I am considering them, although you really don't notice that the straps aren't leather unless you're standing next to me basically. Here's a photo I found of a dress sandal that is also similar, except that my heel is almost (not quite) 4". I find that walking up hills and steps is not a problem for me in them despite the heel. http://coolspotters.com/files/photos/894683/sofia-coppola-for-louis-vuitton-suede-asphalt-handbag-gallery.jpg?1357413577
PogoStick Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Guy here. Without considering the wearer or the activity: I like the entire 3 outfit, works well, but I wouldn't mind a more dressy top, which then might require changing the skirt. #3 shoes are good regardless. I don't like denim skirts but the one in 3 looks fine. The others, not so good. Simple sandals are always fine like #1. Don't care for canvas shoes either. Though girls wore them like crazy when I was 12. Are you 12? The black flowy skirt has potential, but that entire #4 look is wrong to me. Might be too high on the waist. Or maybe the girl is too unattractive, I dunno. BTW. What's up with the high waist shorts/pants now? Girls wearing them as the trendy, in thing...and they look HORRIBLE. I guess they're separating themselves from the butt-crack days from 10 years ago. Way too much overcompensation!
HereNorThere Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I wouldn't say he is a "fashion nut." I have, though, gotten a couple of compliments already . I am 5'5", straight brown hair about halfway down my back. My build is fairly thin, healthy, not anorexic or anything, probably athletic but not "muscular". My skin tone is probably about medium. For research and advice purposes, I'm probably going to need some pictures. You know, for science and what not.
preraph Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Since you're playing miniature golf, you must wear the flatter sandals. It would look crazy to have on platforms. Have fun!
Author Alyssa_in_the_USA_58 Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 Guy here. Without considering the wearer or the activity: I like the entire 3 outfit, works well, but I wouldn't mind a more dressy top, which then might require changing the skirt. #3 shoes are good regardless. I actually would not mind playing miniature golf when dressed up for a fancier restaurant, but his description of the restaurant as "somewhat casual", combined with the miniature golf, tells me this date is mostly casual, but since he also described this restaurant also as "somewhat dressy", I don't want to be too casual, either. That's why I chose a "nice" t-shirt, and the blue denim skirt. My first thought was my beige sandals like in #1, even over my white Keds, since they are widely worn in everyday casual settings, yet would likely not look out of place even when next to dressier footwear, while the Keds would look very casual, regardless...although I would wear them (for that reason) if I choose the dressier skirt. Then, I thought of my white sandals like #2, since they are dressier, yet do not seem to be out of place against more casual footwear. Then, I started leaning toward the heeled sandals like #3, to have one outright dressy item in my outfit, that still allows the outfit as a while to basically be casual. A casual outfit is what I primarily want, yet I want to male an effort to look nice, as he has indicated that he is looking forward to taking me to one of his favorite restaurants, since I have never been there before. I don't want to outdress my date, either, and I think he, too, will be somewhat casual but not very casual, and I would like to basically match. Yes, this is a but of a guessing game for me, but I am enjoying the challenge, but I figured I'd ask what all of you thought. Don't care for canvas shoes either. Though girls wore them like crazy when I was 12. Are you 12? LOL...no, I am not 12, I am 22, almost 23 LOL. They are actually quite popular across all age groups, and can be worn in all seasons. They tend to work well for me in cases where I am looking for a casual shoe, not sandal, when a tennis shoe is not totally appropriate for either the situation or the rest of the outfit, like in this case, or in place of a tennis shoe if I am not going hiking or an overly large amount of walking. BTW. What's up with the high waist shorts/pants now? Girls wearing them as the trendy, in thing...and they look HORRIBLE. I guess they're separating themselves from the butt-crack days from 10 years ago. Way too much overcompensation! That is one likely reason, but there are many others, also. For one, with pants, low (and even medium) rise pants can create the "muffin-top" effect, which make the wearer look heavier than she is, and getting the waist up a bit often lessens or eliminates the effect. The same can apply to skirts; they can be slimming on women with (or even without) a few extra pounds, and make shorter women appear a little taller, and short-legged women appear to be a little more leggy; especially if her thighs are very short, to wear a skirt that is a few inches above the knees can feel like a micro-mini and make her self-conscious. The higher waist allows some women to wear a little bit longer skirt and still have the hemline above the knees. You are right, though, that they can be unflattering on some body types.
Versacehottie Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 LOL...no, I am not 12, I am 22, almost 23 LOL. They are actually quite popular across all age groups, and can be worn in all seasons. They tend to work well for me in cases where I am looking for a casual shoe, not sandal, when a tennis shoe is not totally appropriate for either the situation or the rest of the outfit, like in this case, or in place of a tennis shoe if I am not going hiking or an overly large amount of walking. He's right though about the keds. They are not date material. If you can pull off superga's (tough unless you are model-y) with something sexier above, go for it. But keds, or fakey keds, no! I think white canvas high converse hi-tops would be better in a cool way. You just have to go with your own natural style though and not change who you are.....but do umph- it up in terms of sexy/think how a guy thinks for a date. Not overly sexy but show one part (legs, chest or shoulders/back) OR form-fitting so you show your shape.
abby_tx Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Girls who wear heels miniature golfing scream, "FIRST DATE." It looks so awkward. Though honestly the only person who will notice are other girls judging you. If the guy likes you, it won't matter what you wear. Just wear whatever gives you the most confidence. For me, shoes I can walk in and not look out of place in (like heels golfing) would make me most confident. 1
Zagan Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 If a woman I was dating wore heels to play mini golf I'd wonder if she was right in the head. If the Shawshank Redemption has taught us anything, it's that men don't notice a person's shoes. Unless something makes them stand out in a negative way, such as..heels at mini golf. 2
kenmore Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 In order to give proper advice I need to know more about where you are. One piece of advice works here in San Diego, another in NY, and something altogether different in Wy. If I was your date and I asked you to do that, I'd like it if you wore sandals if the weather was warm. Not Keds. Keds are no more sexy than kids. Which sandals...pfft. Any are great but specifically, I prefer the white ones similar to #2 Short denim skirt or shorts either way. Guys like short skirts...do you have a non-denim short skirt? Denim reeks of casual (and toughness.) I'd go for something softer. The top, your choice in #3 looks better. I'd really say the skirt like #4, the top like #3 and the white sandals like #2 would totally rock my boat! Good luck, let us know how it goes!!! Ken
rocketman122 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Since when do guys notice what shoes a girl is wearing?? I ALWAYS do. ^ ^ THIS! ^ ^ The guy isn't going to really see what you are wearing. I notice everything my partner wears. even try to notice makeup and hair. im very perceptive.
Phoe Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 So much thought... why?! Wear what you like and what you feel good in. Wear what makes sense. Heels and mini golf doesn't make sense.
Friendly3000guy Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Your reasoning for the shoes in the third one makes sense, it sounds like you are a natural at walking in heels. The fourth outfit would be my first choice on a cooler night, maybe in early fall, not knowing where you're from. All of the sandals would work, there's not a huge difference, although the third one does the best at adding the touch of dressiness like you want. The second ones do, too, though I do agree that the third ones are slightly dressier. The first ones would not be a bad choice, but I see your point about them not dressing up the rest of the outfit. Would you consider the sandals in 1 with the skirt in 4? As for a few earlier comments, coming from a guy the white shoes are perfectly ok for a date. I actually think they look great! If I can digress, the same people who think the canvas shoes are unsexy are probably the same people who will wear those d**n flip flops on a date, which is about as unsexy and disgusting as they come.
Author Alyssa_in_the_USA_58 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Good luck, let us know how it goes!!! Ken I meant to do that sooner. Sorry for taking so long to get back. Would you consider the sandals in 1 with the skirt in 4? After reading your suggestion, I basically did that. He liked the outfit very much. Doi9ng that actually worked to my advantage. He asked me if there was a restaurant I particularly liked myself, there's a seafood restaurant he hasn't been to, it's a little dressier than this particular restaurant, some wear suits and ties but others don't. I wore those heeled sandals then, with one of my dressier summer dresses. That outfit went over very well with him . We played mini golf then, also, his idea, we passed it on the way back home and he asked if I wanted to stop. Why not? FYI, to the date I originally asked about, he wore a dressier polo shirt, khaki shorts, and casual loafers. Things are going great, and we are getting along very well. Guys like short skirts...do you have a non-denim short skirt? Most of my skirts, actually, are above the knees. I own a formal dress that goes to about mid-calf, and two skirts that go to just below the knee, but the rest of my skirts and dresses are between mid-thigh and just above the knee. Since you asked. If I can digress, the same people who think the canvas shoes are unsexy are probably the same people who will wear those d**n flip flops on a date, which is about as unsexy and disgusting as they come. I can't say that I disagree with you. I have to admit that I used to wear them regularly when I was 18 and 19 (I am 23 today), but I got tired of them. I do wear them around the house somewhat. I did wear them one time last year (spring 2014) with a guy, not a date exactly, I was dating someone at the college where I was going, he had a late class that let out a little early, he called to ask if I wanted to get a pizza in town, a few blocks walking. I was in my dormroom barefoot and they just happened to be the closest shoes available.
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