Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 After the break up my life turned into a mess, i used to enjoy sports, video games, going out with friends but now nothing seems appealing i don't enjoy the things i used to do before even the food it doesn't taste as before. I've been like this for the past 2 months i don't know when all of this will be over i'm sick of thinking of her all the damn time. I really really miss the old days when i wake up in tears and feeling depressed. I want to move on and i'm trying to occupy myself with anything but it doesn't seem that i'll forget her any time soon
Gus Grimly Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I've been like this for the past 2 months i don't know when all of this will be over i'm sick of thinking of her all the damn time. You need to make a profound change in your life. Maybe mix up you daily routine. Make some new friends. Attend some events. Sign up for guitar lessons. Get a new hair style. Grow a beard. You know ... change yourself. Leave her and your other self behind. It's easier said than done, I know. Trust me, I'm right there with you. Having no motivation to do anything is the worst feeling ever. You keep thinking to yourself "what's the point". Fake it till you make it. Do it! Before too long you wont need to fake it, because you'll be well on your way to a happier life.
aloneinaz Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Going into a post break up "funk" is very typical as is how your feeling. At some point, you have to "fake it until you make it". Push yourself out of your current comfort zone and re-engage with the things you use to enjoy. All those things you're not enjoying will become pleasures again. Don't be too hard on yourself either while also not allowing yourself to be "stuck" where you are for too long. 1
Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 No disrespect...Fake until you make it will never get you to where you need to be. You gotta put yourself in the mindset of I want to be better. Faking anything is just that fake. You are going to pull a blind over your face, and one day it'll break and you'll be distracted by all things you blocked out. Just like the relationship you got to experience this. Experience the feelings...BUT do NOT let them linger. Keep thinking When these thoughts appear let them roll keep thinking keep any thoughts let them roll off. Don't grab any thought. You have to control yourself to just let the thoughts be. You'll have good, and you'll have bad ones. Try your best to look at the world, enjoy everything you can, and stay positive.
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 I've tried everything to keep myself busy but in the end of the day where i'm in bed all alone memories hit you hard I'm still doing the things i love but it's no fun as it were before, now i'm conceding biking as a new hobby also i'm learning french but i still can't get her out of my thoughts no matter how busy i'm
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Oh and i've been faking that i'm okay and i'm over her, my friends think that i'm already over her but truly i'm not. I go back to my room and lick my wounds every night
Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Biking is amazing and I highly suggest it. I did that as well. Works wonders. Don't fake it man. The only person you fool is yourself. Let the thoughts roll like water under the bridge. Cry when you need to. If you dont you just bottle it up.
Gus Grimly Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 No disrespect...Fake until you make it will never get you to where you need to be. Fake it till you make it is more of a frame of mind that literally "faking". So today I am down on myself. I feel like I'm worthless, I won't find anyone better than her. When I fake it, I make myself believe I am awesome, I deserve better and that my life is gonna be awesome from here on out. Mind over matter. 1
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Biking is amazing and I highly suggest it. I did that as well. Works wonders. Don't fake it man. The only person you fool is yourself. Let the thoughts roll like water under the bridge. Cry when you need to. If you dont you just bottle it up. Did you get over your ex? And how long did it take?
Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Well buddy...Mine just broke up with me in June. Gave me the ol famous "I love you but not in love with you" line since April. She still went out with me since April she was hot & cold. Made out would tell me love you here and there. Come to find out in June I dug a little found out she was in a 9 hour LD relationship since April. Hence the hot & cold and I was a crybaby...Granted we were not in an official relationship we hung out 3 or 4 times a week after a break up in January. I still don't know what to think about it. I really dont want to move on because I know she still has feelings, but I did the same thing only I told her. Anyways, my point is the longer you walk or bike or run. The thoughts get supressed on their own. For when you are lingering around in life you have to let the thoughts be, but force yourself to think other things like that car, how beautiful this girl is, or this game is neat. Just keep your mind running. Cry if you need to. Just dont cry 24/7. Im with you on the journey who knows where it'll take us or how long it'll take. Think of yourself out on a lake. Bobbing around. Swimming back to shore. You can see the land, but its a bit away. Just keep swimming take a break if you need to. Eventually you'll get back over there. I'll be there too. The power of positivity
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Well buddy...Mine just broke up with me in June. Gave me the ol famous "I love you but not in love with you" line since April. She still went out with me since April she was hot & cold. Made out would tell me love you here and there. Come to find out in June I dug a little found out she was in a 9 hour LD relationship since April. Hence the hot & cold and I was a crybaby...Granted we were not in an official relationship we hung out 3 or 4 times a week after a break up in January. I still don't know what to think about it. I really dont want to move on because I know she still has feelings, but I did the same thing only I told her. Anyways, my point is the longer you walk or bike or run. The thoughts get supressed on their own. For when you are lingering around in life you have to let the thoughts be, but force yourself to think other things like that car, how beautiful this girl is, or this game is neat. Just keep your mind running. Cry if you need to. Just dont cry 24/7. Im with you on the journey who knows where it'll take us or how long it'll take. Think of yourself out on a lake. Bobbing around. Swimming back to shore. You can see the land, but its a bit away. Just keep swimming take a break if you need to. Eventually you'll get back over there. I'll be there too. The power of positivity I hope one day we wake up and we don't think of them any longer 2
RocketQueen Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Hi, like many other people here I know how you feel. My break up was prolonged by me being a bit of a fool and my ex taking advantage of my nature. I have spent way too long wishing I was back to my old self but in the long road I've taken I have realised I will never be the same again. I have changed, I've learnt some hard lessons and am learning to create a new normal for me. They're all positive steps. I have down days when I feel totally rejected and at times unworthy but I ride it out and each day they last a little less. I refuse to let this awful phase I have been experiencing be for nothing and am embracing being alone physically and mentally. You will get through this, we all take a different route but it will happen. I refuse to fake it because I don't want to ever face the come down when I let my mask slip. I hope your journey is a swift one 2
Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Fake it till you make it is more of a frame of mind that literally "faking". So today I am down on myself. I feel like I'm worthless, I won't find anyone better than her. When I fake it, I make myself believe I am awesome, I deserve better and that my life is gonna be awesome from here on out. Mind over matter. I get where you're coming from...Ex used this phrase from time to time. To me it makes you view the world through rose tinted glasses. Use to be a dreamer, but now I look more at reality why this happened etc. Breaking things down until you can't anymore
Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I hope one day we wake up and we don't think of them any longer Yep. I'm still in the she might come back and wake up beside me, BUT who knows. Her and I have been through a lot & I honestly feel shes my soulmate. Either way I know on my deathbed everything will have worked itself out with who it was suppose to work out with.
aloneinaz Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I hope one day we wake up and we don't think of them any longer Time passing, NC and out of sight, out of mind will get you there. Keep doing what you're doing. Stay busy. Fake it till you make it, dam it! lol.. Of course it JUST an expression to all the black and white folks! The quote "whether you think you can or you think you can't, your right" comes to mind. PUSH yourself to do these things and as the time passes, you'll feel more normal. I was where you were 2.5 years ago and know this to be the truth. I also PUSHED myself out of my house and started casually dating again after I started sleeping and eating again. Not to HIDE from my feelings or pain from the break up, but rather, to smile, laugh and enjoy the opposite sex. The attention it brought quickly repaired my self esteem as well. Several months later, I met my now LT GF that I'm lucky to have in my life. You'll get there if you push yourself. Maybe you'll even get to where you're over her and have someone better in your life. Then your ex will reappear and you can say "yea, no" to dating her again, like I did. 1
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Yep. I'm still in the she might come back and wake up beside me, BUT who knows. Her and I have been through a lot & I honestly feel shes my soulmate. Either way I know on my deathbed everything will have worked itself out with who it was suppose to work out with. I gave up thunking she will be back 2 weeks ago even if she really did come back, NC made me realize she's not the one and she will never be the person i've wanted
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Time passing, NC and out of sight, out of mind will get you there. Keep doing what you're doing. Stay busy. Fake it till you make it, dam it! lol.. Of course it JUST an expression to all the black and white folks! The quote "whether you think you can or you think you can't, your right" comes to mind. PUSH yourself to do these things and as the time passes, you'll feel more normal. I was where you were 2.5 years ago and know this to be the truth. I also PUSHED myself out of my house and started casually dating again after I started sleeping and eating again. Not to HIDE from my feelings or pain from the break up, but rather, to smile, laugh and enjoy the opposite sex. The attention it brought quickly repaired my self esteem as well. Several months later, I met my now LT GF that I'm lucky to have in my life. You'll get there if you push yourself. Maybe you'll even get to where you're over her and have someone better in your life. Then your ex will reappear and you can say "yea, no" to dating her again, like I did. i'm doing my best to keep myself busy as possible and yeah NC helps to see things clearer and make you realize she wasn't that great but i still do think about her. So you Ex came back ? i'm not counting on my ex to come back but it will be great to hear that she's sorry for taking me for granted, but if she doesn't come back thats fine by me either
anduina Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 The reason it's common for people to advise you to make yourself over by getting into shape is because your body produces feel-good hormones when you push it to its limits through physical activity. Ever heard of runner's high? http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/27/health/nutrition/27best.html?_r=0 2
Author Arda199 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 The reason it's common for people to advise you to make yourself over by getting into shape is because your body produces feel-good hormones when you push it to its limits through physical activity. Ever heard of runner's high? http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/27/health/nutrition/27best.html?_r=0 Great article, thanks for sharing it. 1
singsparkles Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 After the break up my life turned into a mess, i used to enjoy sports, video games, going out with friends but now nothing seems appealing i don't enjoy the things i used to do before even the food it doesn't taste as before. I've been like this for the past 2 months i don't know when all of this will be over i'm sick of thinking of her all the damn time. I really really miss the old days when i wake up in tears and feeling depressed. I want to move on and i'm trying to occupy myself with anything but it doesn't seem that i'll forget her any time soon I think a lot of people feel the same way you do after a break up. You are definitely not alone. After my last breakup, I locked myself in my room, didn't see any of my friends, ignored everyones calls, and stress ate myself all night long. I'd take bubble baths and live in my own world. It had to take my best friend to come over and literally pick me up out of bed one day, to realize how bad I had gotten. She wasnt going to let me live this way anymore/ The thing is, your ex didn't make you this way. YOU allowed what happened with your ex to make you this way, as harsh as it sounds. And you deserve better. She shouldnt have the upper hand knowing you've totally given up on things that make you happy. Go out. Do stuff. Make yourself smile. Love yourself. YOU deserve it, not her! Think about YOU. I know its hard but its crucial! One day at a time... Don't lose focus of yourself or your dreams and think about what YOU want/need. It will all help with your own spiritual healing (loving yourself) find things to be happy abt. There are way too many things everywhere that money cant buy to make us smile. keep your head up, it will get better!!! xox:love:
BriNyc82 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 The only way out is through. You will get through this 1
Author Arda199 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 I think a lot of people feel the same way you do after a break up. You are definitely not alone. After my last breakup, I locked myself in my room, didn't see any of my friends, ignored everyones calls, and stress ate myself all night long. I'd take bubble baths and live in my own world. It had to take my best friend to come over and literally pick me up out of bed one day, to realize how bad I had gotten. She wasnt going to let me live this way anymore/ The thing is, your ex didn't make you this way. YOU allowed what happened with your ex to make you this way, as harsh as it sounds. And you deserve better. She shouldnt have the upper hand knowing you've totally given up on things that make you happy. Go out. Do stuff. Make yourself smile. Love yourself. YOU deserve it, not her! Think about YOU. I know its hard but its crucial! One day at a time... Don't lose focus of yourself or your dreams and think about what YOU want/need. It will all help with your own spiritual healing (loving yourself) find things to be happy abt. There are way too many things everywhere that money cant buy to make us smile. keep your head up, it will get better!!! xox:love: I don't care about her at all, all i think about is how to make myself feel better each day, I work out, hang out with friends, play soccer..etc i feel much better each day it feels like i'm starting to enjoy the thing i''ve used to do before i fell in love
CT98 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) You'll get there buddy....honest....keep the faith. Try and take this on board and believe that I'm telling the truth; When you do get there it feels so good, knowing you overcame your break up, knowing how strong you are, and knowing how much happier you are now than before you were even with her makes it all worth while. It's been nearly a year for me now, and let me tell you, the time has gone so quickly...you're going to be just fine. The 'old' you is gone now...and a new better version is in the process of evolving right this second! Edited August 10, 2015 by CT98 1
Arieswoman Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Arda199, I am sorry you are going through this. You need to grieve the loss of the relationship and you can't speed up the process. You obviously have a big heart and are capable of deep love - that's why you feel a big loss now. If you were able to just roll over and start again, then that would make you a really shallow person. Take your time, get counselling if you want, and you will feel better, although you probably won't believe it at this moment. There are a lot of people on these boards who are rooting for you, and have been where you are now. We all came out the other side and so can you Stay strong x 1
Yummm Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Change of routine helps. As the others are saying, you WILL get there. I'm 3 months post BU and i'm still not 100% there yet, but i'm definitely on my way. I'm going on dates, hanging out with friends and feeling more myself now. I was also very lucky in having a 3 week life changing holiday that put things into perspective for me. I was also into series, video games and gym when I was with my ex, when I got dumped I found it hard to do anything, I even found it hard to be alone. You need to push yourself, your ex did not make you who you are, you are worth more and will pick yourself up. Chin up buddy, positive vibes xox:love:
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