Tracey123 Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 I have ended my relationship of 3 years and am feeling depressed like I've never felt before. It is affecting my job and I feel so lousy because I never wanted to do it , but felt that I had too. My b/f and I have danced around the committment issue for so long that I can't do it anymore. I feel like crap. He has been in a depression since January and pushes me away like you have no idea. For the last month, I can't even say that we have been together.....he has been busy doing 'nothing' but sitting at home playing his guitar. He is financially broke, his roof is leaking, he can't get a band together and doesn't get off his butt to fix any of it. And, WE have gone down the tubes. I feel like he has reduced our relationship to 'nothing' and he has so little to offer right now due to his fear of committment. On Tuesday night, he called me after 5 days and I lost my cool. I told him I didn't sign up for this and asked if he regarded me as his buddy to call me to say 'hi' after 5 days. I popped into his work one week before that and felt like I had been blown off (he works in a public place) and have been pi#*ed ever since. I told him that I wasn't accepting this treatment from him any longer because I deserved to be treated better and that was because I DESERVE it! and I know I do. I just love him and feel like Hell. I think I am hoping that the fear of losing me will win over the fear of committment: living together. Everything goes fine for us and we get really close and then he puts distance between us by not coming by etc. I think that I have been patient enough but I am miserable. Soooooo miserable without him. I was so upset on Tuesday night that I just couldn't keep it in and his response was.."you're such an angry person." I said that I wasn't angry, just with him and who wouldn't be. We have had really good times. We have had really bad times. Health issues, loss of a parent, more health issues, financial etc. We have always made it through. I don't know if we'll make it through this one though. I haven't talked to him since Tuesday and it's killing me but I think if things are going to work out, he needs to be the one to put the effort in. I am tired. What are the chances, i wonder? hmmm [font=arial][/font]
Marshbear Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 If he is really depressed then he may be incapable of giving what you need right now. I would try to get him to a doctor for a diagnosis. If he lays around and feels life is hopeless and not worth living then these are classic signs of clinical depression and he needs help. Should you be treated better? Yes. Can you put up with his behavior? Only you can answer this. I went through a similar experience with my ex as far as her ignoring me and making me angry. She also told me I was angry all the time. I am not normally a angry person but when you are being shut out and feel helpless as to the situation you start to let your emotions get the best of you. I had to finally break-up with her because I could not deal with the change in her. It was painful but necessary. Only you can decide your course of action but I would try to make sure he does not have a medical issue before you shut the door.
Author Tracey123 Posted May 8, 2005 Author Posted May 8, 2005 I haven't shut the door although he may think I have. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and I do believe there is a medical issue but to get him to see someone!!!!!! OMG. I would love that, for him. I am not closing the door, but I don't even think he realized that he has been pushing me away because when I asked him how he would be feeling if his girlfriend was busy every Saturday night doing "nothing", how the heck would he feel??? He said 'it hasn't been five week-ends of that" and i said that it has and I know, because I have been the one waiting for him. I am hoping that he will come to the realization that both of us are part of our issues, not just me, and will actually do the 'work' ie: open his mouth to talk about what is going on, or else he will lose me. That is the hope. But I don't know what else to do. I have a squirrly brain over this and am not usually this reactive, but haven't seen any improvement from him. URGH!
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