Heather130 Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 Well!!! It’s been a week and a half since my very serious boyfriend at the time split with me. The first few days were absolutely unbearable, I couldn’t sleep or eat…..but I am glad to say that the hard times have passed and I now feel terrific, I feel like I’m on top of the world….I can NOW see the silver lining and I now know that this was for the best. Soooo now we are at the stage of getting each other’s belongings back. We’ve made planes to exchange this week. My question is………….I’ve wrote him a very lengthy letter stating that there is absolutely no hard feelings and that I appreciate him being honest with me AND how much I care about him as a person and I’d love to remain in contact with him…. Now, by giving him this letter does this say DOOR MAT …?????
HotCaliGirl Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 PLEASE DON'T GIVE HIM THAT LETTER! I'M WARNING YOU!!! AND YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT IT SAYS DOORMAT WITH CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!!!! I PROMISE YOU. If you want you can PM the letter, I can analyze it for you, and point out what parts are so pathetic about it.
outdated Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 I gave my ex letters when we broke up- first a love letter in my pathetic attempt to save the relationship, and then another saying that there are no hard feelings. I communicate better in writing I suppose, so I wanted her to know that I didn't hate her for making a decision she felt she had to. It might not change anything, but at the end of the day, it's better to be friendly. A letter saying no hard feelings doesn't say doormat, it says quite the opposite. You're moving on. He's moving on. Hating takes up too much energy and he will be comforted to know that you don't hate him and ultimately look back fondly on your relationship. Be careful of one thing though- I too had a feeling of relief about a week in a half after the break, and actually had a couple of good days. That was called denial. I remember thinking that everything was gong to be fine, and once it sunk in that it was final and I was truly single again, there was a whole change of emotions. If this swing happens to you too, it's best to keep him out of it. Good luck, and here's to hoping that your feeling of happiness continues!
HotCaliGirl Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 I still don't think she should give him the letter. It confirms that she agrees they should be apart and he will be assured that he made the right decision, and he will feel that she is not mad and if he had the choice, he could have her back whenever he wanted to, since she is taking it so well. No way would I give him that letter.
outdated Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 I see your point- I guess what I mean is that she seems pretty okay with the decision. If she doesn't want him back, then giving the letter does no harm. If she does, then maybe she shouldn't.
Treasa Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 I agree with HotCaliGirl. Maintaining your dignity doesn't have to be synonymous with being hateful.
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