Dudearino Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) So I need help... I've done NC off and on for 1.5 months (looked at pinterest/facebook/sent 1 text & 1 email) but a week now consistent not looking.. Which this go around I will stick to it because there is a night & day difference in feelings. Been talking to other women who I find attractive. Anywho need suggestions! Know she will be in my mind for a while. Need suggestions on how to lessen my thoughts of her. If they do come about how to change that energy into myself. Since June I definitely feel improvement even with the breakage of NC. Just want to continue this path so I dont cry over little things. Tired of crying at night and "talking" to her spiritually etc. I feel she can hear/feel it so definitely need to stop. Want to be strong for myself, for my friends, family, and my business. 1. Stick to NC 2. No looky no talky 3. Diminish her in my thoughts 4. No "Talking" to her spiritually 5. Excerise 6. Hobbies 7. Friends What other things can I do to help myself lessen this outside of time? Suggestions? Discussions? Bring it! Edited August 4, 2015 by Dudearino Addition
Gus Grimly Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) Avoid reminiscing about the good times. This gets me all bummed out. Just don't do it.Write a list about all the BS your Ex did to you, all her character defects and flaws, fights, incompatibilities and why it ended. Read it when you start getting sentimental.Get rid of any evidence in your home. Like pictures, gifts, cards, documents, clothes etc. Get a thumb drive and put all digital stuff connected with your Ex in the USB drive and put it in a box with the rest of that stuff.Keep a journal. Write down all your negative thoughts or the pain the BU caused. Once it's written, burn it. You are literally Burning those emotions away, freeing yourself from them.Socialize with friends. Meet new people. Just some ideas. It's a big world out there, time to remind yourself that it doesn't revolve around her. Edited August 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4
DK666 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) Fantastic post. Edited August 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redacted full quote of edited post immediately preceding
fireflywy Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Well, go about your day and when thoughts of her pop up say "Stop! Stop thinking about this right now." Use stop. Do not use the word Don't. Don't think about a pink elephant. See what happens when I said it? when you do this, at the end of your day, give yourself a max of thirty minutes to cry, feel, write, ponder this, and do it somewhere alone if you must but at the end of that time, cut yourself off. This may be hard to do at first, but it will get easier in time. This way you are allowing yourself to focus on what you must, know that you have time to let it go without repression, and you'll slowly find yourself getting a clearer head. Also, as other posters here say, you need to stick to NC for a while until you've gotten yourself over the constant thoughts and stimuli. Best of luck friend. Post here often. 1
Author Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Thank you both for the suggestions. Definitely will remember the "burning" & the "stop". Hopefully they are some more good ones! And will definitely continue posting on here. Its been a huge help so far
Author Dudearino Posted August 5, 2015 Author Posted August 5, 2015 Addition to this post from local friends... When a thought comes up let it roll out. Dont grab it. Let it roll. Let it just do its thing. Your mind will constantly think of other things. Don't grab thoughts let them cycle. Excerise when you can let the thoughts roll off like the sweat.
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