Overly clingy,not even Ex girlfriend?

[LittleAce]

Last time i posted, i got no answer,however,i might have written too much..so i'll keep it short now.

 

1) I met a girl in school who was very similar to me and we exchanged e-mails,we had a lot in common,we liked each other, but never went past it. I left my country soon after and before doing so,she told me her feelings,but LDR ain't for me,so excluded,i was just 16 anyway.

2) After moving to the other country,she contacted me a few months after saying she wants to be friends..a few weeks later,she tells me about her feelings again before i tell her there's no way for us to be together and to forget about me.

3) After getting blocked/unblocked a lot of times,she came again and told me she can't forget about us...and at least let her be my friend. Did so,happened the same as above.

4) After a few more times it happening,my father got into a coma and while i was still blocked,she found out from a mutual friend about my fathers situation and she came. Got angry about her trying to sneak in my life when i am sad and trying to seize the opportunity and sent her away.

5) 1-2 Months later she has new boyfriend,who's the light in her eyes.

6) After some time,she contacts me again that she can't forget about me and she doesn't love him,what can she do? i tried to explain to her but it was pointless.

7) In april,i went back to my homeland and she heard about me coming back and came meeting me. We spent some time together and she kissed me saying she still loves me and thinks of me everyday.

8) After i am back abroad,she told me she loves me a lot but we cant' be together anymore.

9) She tells me she can't get rid of him,not to make him suffer.

10) She tells me a few days later that she did a mistake and her feelings for him are genuine.

11) She told me i am getting between her and him and i should stay away.

12) Now,yesterday,i didn't talk to her for a few months and she just sent me a message "i ran away from home" followed by a "just kidding,but i want to."

13) She said her parents don't approfe of her marriage and to move out of the house and her boyfriend keeps nagging her about the benefits of moving out.

14) She knows she can rely on me,yay,to give her a good answer and lead her down the right path,but even if i said something,she would ignore it. She is also engaged with him,after just 9 months of relationship and next year marriage.

 

 

 

But it kind of hurts me,seeing how indecisive and considerate she is. I am still trying to get over some of my remaining feelings for her,and almost did so,before she came back again. She's a good person,but she doesn't know what she wants anymore...and she doesn't have a lot of people to rely on.

Help? i tried to make it short..

Edited August 4, 2015 by LittleAce

[mightycpa]

Get a new telephone number. Redirect her emails to the trash can. Send a wedding gift with a note explaining you won't be able to make it.

 

That ought to do the trick.

 

Wait... what is it that you want?

[LittleAce]

Get a new telephone number. Redirect her emails to the trash can. Send a wedding gift with a note explaining you won't be able to make it.

 

That ought to do the trick.

 

Wait... what is it that you want?

 

I have my own life,and it's already not possible for us to be together. I already made my decision to move on ,because,at the end of the day,i need to be happy. But it's kind of painful that she keeps coming back and doing mistakes "because" of me. She also put the blame on me once,that after i dumped her so many times,she was in such a state that she wanted to suicide and cut her wrist and she also agreed to be that new dudes girflriend even if she didn't like him at first.. All of her friends told me about this and i know she is unstable. But ,what can i do? She keeps seeking me out.

[mightycpa]

I have my own life,and it's already not possible for us to be together. I already made my decision to move on ,because,at the end of the day,i need to be happy. But it's kind of painful that she keeps coming back and doing mistakes "because" of me. She also put the blame on me once,that after i dumped her so many times,she was in such a state that she wanted to suicide and cut her wrist and she also agreed to be that new dudes girflriend even if she didn't like him at first.. All of her friends told me about this and i know she is unstable. But ,what can i do? She keeps seeking me out.

OK, well, don't respond. You're not responsible for what she might do to herself, and you're not responsible unless you've been unclear. Get a new telephone number. Send those emails straight to the trash without reading them. Be done with this.

 

I had an ex like that once. To get rid of her, I had to make these big grandiose plans, she set up a whole weekend of stuff to do, places to go, etc. I went along right up until the very end, then I never showed up.

 

I never heard back from her. Whew! Didn't want to do that, but I felt like I had to do it.

[LittleAce]

OK, well, don't respond. You're not responsible for what she might do to herself, and you're not responsible unless you've been unclear. Get a new telephone number. Send those emails straight to the trash without reading them. Be done with this.

 

I had an ex like that once. To get rid of her, I had to make these big grandiose plans, she set up a whole weekend of stuff to do, places to go, etc. I went along right up until the very end, then I never showed up.

 

I never heard back from her. Whew! Didn't want to do that, but I felt like I had to do it.

 

Sounds fair,but she already steps into a road with no return,i'm afraid she'll do the same mistake a friend of mine did,marrying the wrong man and suffering for her whole life..that's why i don't want the reason for her to go that way,to be because of me.

 

However,i know i am also right to be happy and i don't need to babysit another person who doesn't know what she wants for herself. I'll just see what she wants once and for all,and then,NC.

[mightycpa]

Sounds fair,but she already steps into a road with no return,i'm afraid she'll do the same mistake a friend of mine did,marrying the wrong man and suffering for her whole life..that's why i don't want the reason for her to go that way,to be because of me.

 

However,i know i am also right to be happy and i don't need to babysit another person who doesn't know what she wants for herself. I'll just see what she wants once and for all,and then,NC.

Before you do, ask yourself what difference it makes what she wants.

 

You are merely opening the door to invite trouble inside one more time. Even if it is the last time, why?

[LittleAce]

Before you do, ask yourself what difference it makes what she wants.

 

You are merely opening the door to invite trouble inside one more time. Even if it is the last time, why?

 

I just confronter her,i kind of got pissed off because when i asked why did she had to rely on such stupid means like running away from home to another country and needing my urgent help,she just said "i wanted to attract your attention,i knew you will answer me if i did so..hehe" . Is she playing with me? i was so worried the whole day for her,i know how silly she can be sometimes,but really..doing this to me and then not answering until next day..oh man..i'm so mad right now. Is she inviting me to block her forever or something?

 

I also asked her another question "You are engaged and you say you have such great friends you always talk about,why do you keep coming to me? Do you think i will always be there for you?"

 

And the answer i got "No,but you will make time for me."

 

What did i get into..i'm starting to grow frantic if i hear another word from her mouth. Spoiled brat.

 

And you are right mightycpa..i'd rather have not known the reason she sent me this message..she just needs to feed her own ego to feel good making others worry for her .

 

Edit 3.."I can't forget all these 3 years of us together,even if we most of the time argued. You were still there for me and i will never forget it. All i need is my old friend."

Edited August 4, 2015 by LittleAce