boyfriend

[KDMM]

My girlfriend is turning 18 and i am 18

We been together for 8 months now

I mean she used to worship the ground I walk on. Now she doesnt care My gf me a talk about. she has depression and a go thru a bad state in life. She told me she doesnt care about life of anyone now. So what do I do to see if she still have feelings for me deep inside? Avoid her? how do i see if she stills loves me. I've tried giving her love that doesn't work. Ive tried working it out and ask her to change. Result is the same. Her dad died a year ago. And she has been depressed since I was always there for her tho. But she tell me she no care about anything anymore. Now I dont even know if she loves me anymore

I text her everyday. But she text me just like the mood she's in everyday.. Like if I say hey babe. She says hey. Then I say u ok. She says "yea am ok. "

Then I say u sure?

She says "yea"

Then I say ok hope so

She say "yea"

Then the convo doesn't progress. I don't know if she even loves me anymore.

 

Its been happening for two months now. I dont see her from about June. She's been depressed from last year. Crying all the time. Her dad died and her family esp mother them no really help her so she stop care about life.

How me know if she still care about me

 

I want know how me can see if she loves me. Avoiding her??? How do I know? I seriously need help. Or should I just give her space. Text her normal. And wait till me get to see her. Idk

 

 

#Her dad is dead from last year

#Her mom doesn't take care of her

#Shes away for the summer at her grandma where she has to be working in a shop.

#We broke up last month but got together because we are always arguing because I don't think she loves me

#She has suicidal thoughts#

#We are both in school sometimes I have to give her money for something to eat but I am not rich as well as my family

Its summer now she's away for the holiday at her grandma

She doesn't even know if she's going to continue school this semester.

She's far away in my country but we go to the same school

 

I don't know if she loves me anymore because she doesn't show it

 

She's depressed

And I don't know where I stand in her life anymore

 

Do u have any advice for what I should and should not do in this type of relationship? I love her to bits. Constantly praying for her hoping she will be okay. I just don't know what to do as her bf right now

[d0nnivain]

You need to immediately have to stop thinking that most of this has anything to do with you.

 

 

Her dad died! She's grieving. I grieved for almost 3 years when my dad died.

 

 

She's depressed. What that means is she doesn't love herself. How the heck do you think she has much left over to love you? Right now when you pressure her & make this about you in fact you are making this worse. Stop being part of the problem. Is she in therapy or getting grief counseling? Suggest they may help. My therapist is a Godsend as is this women's group I attend. Another thing that helped my husband never once made it about him. He held me while I cried & didn't push me to be some happy peppy person when I was down.

[Got it]

So she is so depressed she doesn't care about life now and you are worried about validation? Nice.

[spiderowl]

I can see why you are uncertain if your girlfriend loves you. Depression makes people close down and cut off. They see little point in anything. From what you say, she's had a pretty dreadful time recently and is grieving the loss of her father when she is only young herself. If her home circumstances are not good, it's all going to combine to make her feel more depressed.

 

Your girlfriend needs some help to cope with her depression. Has she seen her doctor? Is she seeing any kind of therapist or counsellor? These might all help and therapy of some sort is really important now.

 

You are in a difficult position. Until her depression lifts, she is not going to be able to respond to you as you would like. She sounds suicidal; this depression is serious. Rather than trying to get a response from her about how she feels about you, it would be better to support her in getting help - seeing her doc, getting counselling. She is not likely to be able to give a lot back to you at the moment and I can imagine that is very hard for you. At the same time, you need to be aware that she is at risk and needs pschological support from specialists.

 

What you can do is to be loving and kind and try not to take her lack of rewarding responses to heart. Reassure her she will feel better soon and that seeking help is a good thing. You may find it helpful to go to counselling yourself to talk to someone about how all this is affecting you. It is hard supporting someone with depression.