Eternal Sunshine Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 I started talking to a man on OKC recently. I decided to talk for a while before we meet (although it's only been few weeks). I liked that he is very quick witted and funny in the contrast to what was missing from my recent ex. We discovered we have a friend in common and he thinks he remembers briefly seeing me at my work (I now live in a smallish town so it's possible). Anyway, since yesterday he adds "my love" to the end of his texts. Like "Having a good day, my love?". He is from Yorkshire, England so maybe that's the way they talk over there? I just don't want someone that moves that fast or is a sweet talker with a "hit it an quit it" mindset. Anyway, I am meeting him tomorrow so we will see.
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 I work in that region.... I get called 'my love', 'me ducks', 'chuck', 'pet', and 'lovie' all the time, by male customers. And older female ones too, come to think of it... Suspend opinion until you meet.... 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 I started talking to a man on OKC recently. I decided to talk for a while before we meet (although it's only been few weeks). I liked that he is very quick witted and funny in the contrast to what was missing from my recent ex. We discovered we have a friend in common and he thinks he remembers briefly seeing me at my work (I now live in a smallish town so it's possible). Anyway, since yesterday he adds "my love" to the end of his texts. Like "Having a good day, my love?". He is from Yorkshire, England so maybe that's the way they talk over there? I just don't want someone that moves that fast or is a sweet talker with a "hit it an quit it" mindset. Anyway, I am meeting him tomorrow so we will see. No red flag. I'm from the North of England (not Yorkshire though) and I can confirm it's fairly common, as is the quick wit and humour . Wouldn't read too much into it. Enjoy your date 2
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 I hate it. If you call me 'my love' and you have not met me yet it just means your 'my love' have no meaning. You just throw them around at will.
xcupid Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Normal for England. Not a red flag IMO. No need to form opinions or judge before getting to know him better. 4
carhill Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Good luck with the meeting and I wouldn't assign any significance to the phrase.
katiegrl Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) If you call me 'my love' and you have not met me yet it just means your 'my love' have no meaning. **You just throw them around at will**. That it makes it sound malicious. In England, it's pretty common and yeah people do use the phrase loosely, it's not supposed to have any meaning. Here in the states, I know people from that area who say it all the time. It's just a general term of endearment...not to be taken literally. Edited August 4, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Satu Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 In that part of the world it's a common way of addressing people, even strangers. I've always liked it, though I don't use it myself. 3
katiegrl Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 That said ....to ES, just wanted to say I'm sorry things did not work out with the other guy you were dating. He sounded promising, and I got the feeling you really liked him.
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 I hate it. If you call me 'my love' and you have not met me yet it just means your 'my love' have no meaning. You just throw them around at will. I don't entirely agree with this... My H says 'darling' to ladies he speaks to at work, or on the phone, but I know he means it totally differently when he's speaking to me... It's just a term of endearment... But to whom you say it, and the meaning you give it, obviously vary according to acquaintance... 2
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 That it makes it sound malicious. In England, it's pretty common and yeah people do use the phrase loosely, it's not supposed to have any meaning. Here in the states, I know people from that area who say it all the time. It's just a general term of endearment...not to be taken literally. Yes I realize it's cultural.
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Lol, my first thought was "Is he English?" And yes, these folks like to add "love" when talking to each other. Even with complete strangers. My exH is from Yorkshire and I lived there for a while. I always found the love thing sweet and endearing.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Well I guess I'll chime in as well and let you know that from my own personal experience having dated a couple of Englishmen, this is very much how they are. And it doesn't just stop with Englishmen. I think there are many ethnic pockets where these kind of endearments are very commonplace, Europeans (particularly Italians) are another great example. Personally, I never take any of it seriously but do enjoy it all the same. It's certainly more refreshing than what we have to deal with on regular basis when it comes to dating so bring it on!
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 Well I guess I'll chime in as well and let you know that from my own personal experience having dated a couple of Englishmen, this is very much how they are. And it doesn't just stop with Englishmen. I think there are many ethnic pockets where these kind of endearments are very commonplace, Europeans (particularly Italians) are another great example. Goodness yes.... there are so many terms of endearment used by Italians... If you're shopping, shop-keepers are generally very polite. They will use the third-person when speaking to you...and they will keep to 'Signora' or 'Signorina'.... But in the open Market, they'll use every flirtatious term in the book to get you to buy their onions! "Ciao bellezza, son' buone le mie cipolle!" "Uellah, Bimba, desidera....!?" Oh, it's so....uplifting! You can't help but smile at their good-natured sweet-talking ways! And all to sell you a bunch of asparagus, they give you a bunch of hooey! They know, and you know, and they know you know... But it's all part of the fun!
RoseVille Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 The guy at my local gyro shop calls everyone love or sweetheart, even men. I don't think it means anything really.
tuxedo cat Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) Red flag imo. Even for an English guy that seems a little much, given that he is living outside of the UK and knows the norms where you live. If it was in person, less so, but text is more deliberate. Reminds me of something cheesy a Hugh Grant womanizer type would say. Edited August 4, 2015 by tuxedo cat
katiegrl Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) Red flag imo. Even for an English guy that seems a little much, given that he is living outside of the UK and knows the norms where you live. If it was in person, less so, but text is more deliberate. Reminds me of something cheesy a Hugh Grant womanizer type would say. LOL @ red flag. Just curious, but what's the red flag? He's a player? What? I DO get what you're saying though. It's like when I met a man and right off the bat, even before a date, he's calling me "babe." THAT I hate...and yeah it's a player move. Establishing a "familiarity" so that when we meet....I'll feel so comfy I'll have sex with him. LOL But here, the guy is English....nearly all the folks I know from England use that term of endearment in one form or another. It is REALLY not to be taken literally... Course we're just speculating ....he "could" be a player but I don't think that can be determined just cause he calls her "love." Edited August 4, 2015 by katiegrl
tuxedo cat Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) LOL @ red flag. Just curious, but what's the red flag? He's a player? What? I DO get what you're saying though. It's like when I met a man and right off the bat, even before a date, he's calling me "babe." THAT I hate...and yeah it's a player move. Establishing a "familiarity" so that when we meet....I'll feel so comfy I'll have sex with him. LOL But here, the guy is English....nearly all the folks I know from England use that term of endearment in one form or another. It is REALLY not to be taken literally... Course we're just speculating ....he "could" be a player but I don't think that can be determined just cause he calls her "love." Yeah, it gives me a sleazy/player vibe. In my experience English people living outside of the country don't use the term that often with strangers of the opposite sex. They do use it, but usually it's when they've known someone for a bit or it may kind of slip out, because they're aware of the cultural difference in connotation. The English guy I knew who used it often was somebody I had been friends with for a few months first before he started trotting it out on a regular basis. I'd be curious to know how long this guy has been living outside of the UK, as that would shed some light on whether it's a deliberate choice. Edited August 4, 2015 by tuxedo cat
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