Vintage79 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) Vixen - that's a super healthy perspective - I'm glad the forums are helping... Edited August 5, 2015 by Vintage79
Strahatmak Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Thanks all - I was planning on seeing him last night, but that didn't happen - so it will be tonight. I actually haven't brought up much of this with him yet - just asking him for the initial explanation of his behavior. Yes, I have insecurities catalyzed by past trauma - which is one of the main reasons I was seeking input on this forum, which has been incredibly helpful. My insecurities tend to elevate the significance of some issues beyond where they should be, so an outside perspective helps me ground those issues and try to place the significance of those issues at an appropriate, as opposed to overblown, level. The general view from ~90% of the feedback has been extraordinarily consistent, and speaks towards me thinking that this is a bigger deal than it is...which will help be throttle back on the intensity of the conversations with him. It also helps me realize that this should be something I should be able to get over relatively quickly. The last thing I would want is in our next interaction for my view on the significance to be overblown and damage the relationship with him. The conversations here I think have tempered a more realistic view of this issue that will help me curb my responses, and enable me to work on some of the excess problem (that from my trauma), more on the side as opposed to with him. Maybe because I met the worst lying douchebag ever before, I tend to think that your bf's (the content of the) lie was minor, and he did ackownledge his mistake and apologized sincerely. You made your point to him and he got it. Let it be. My story? My ex hid his parental status to me, which I didn't think it was a big deal; but how he treated his ex was though (I later found out). He said it wasn't true, played victim and cried and accused the person who told me was a lying b!tch who slept with any man.
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