"Not the right time to be dating" line

August 4, 2015

I've been running into this line a lot lately..

First girl, "That date idea sounds cute! Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I take a lot of time to process things and I just don't think that it's a good time for me to be dating anyone right now."

and now tonight, "Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to you. I've been having a bit of a problem.. You're great and I had fun. I just don't think it's the right time for me to be seeing anyone."

Now, I'm not an idiot.. I've been around the block enough to know that this is just a soft rejection. If you met the guy/girl of your dreams, regardless of any situation, you would find a way to make it work.

Though, what the ****.. I thought I'd ask. Assuming, that, by chance, this girl is being genuine and it did take her this long to make a decision, that she liked me but thought the circumstances weren't ideal..

Is there anything that can be done/said that might sway them into giving it a shot?

I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

August 4, 2015

Talk someone into liking me, who doesn't already on his/her own?

No, I'm not familiar with a way to accomplish that. Even if there was a way, I wouldn't utilize it.

I want the person I'm with to naturally and all their own come to that conclusion. If I was guy, I'd be grateful she wasn't hitting me up for those free meals we disinterested women are so famous for taking from poor, unsuspecting men.

Best of luck to you, OP...

August 4, 2015

Is there anything that can be done/said that might sway them into giving it a shot?
I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

Most of the women on this site are stupid when it comes to dating. They are lazy as hell and believe dating is like finding a puzzle piece. It's not! Don't listen to them.

Absolutely there is a way to increase your chances to get these women to reconsider you. It's VERY hard to do without any information. If they are rejecting you because they have been multi-dating and just found a guy they really like, your odds are near zero. Bottom line is that you need to find out what they are thinking and to do that you have to give them a reason to talk to you.

Find something to catch their attention and make them want to talk to you for a minute. Once that is achieved, be bold and ask straight out why she isn't interested and make sure she understands you will not freak out or get hurt. If her objection is something you can overcome ask her straight out whether she would be willing to give you a chance provided you handle her objection.

This works. Selling things to women is very easy. Just get them to imagine how having whatever you are selling is going to make their life, easier, better, more fun. Now imagine that thing you are selling is yourself.

August 4, 2015

I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

"It was nice meeting you. I had a lot of fun. If you change your mind shoot me a text!"

and then disappear. It's the only way. If you leave the door open some of them will come back.

I was trying to get a tinder date with this girl once and she didn't want to go out with me because she "didn't know me yet" I pretty much just stopped talking to her and after 2 weeks of complete silence she came back, gave me her phone number and we set a date. We had a great short term relationship. Woman are very flaky but If you walk away sometimes they'll flake in your direction. Continuing to pursue her will get you nowhere.

Edited August 4, 2015 by Jame22

August 4, 2015

"It was nice meeting you. I had a lot of fun. If you change your mind shoot me a text!"
and then disappear. It's the only way. If you leave the door open some of them will come back.
I was trying to get a tinder date with this girl once and she didn't want to go out with me because she "didn't know me yet" I pretty much just stopped talking to her and after 2 weeks of complete silence she came back, gave me her phone number and we set a date. We had a great short term relationship. Woman are very flaky but If you walk away sometimes they'll flake in your direction. Continuing to pursue her will get you nowhere.

This isn't exactly true. Persistence can pay off big time... you just have to do it the right way.

August 4, 2015

you just have to do it the right way.

What's the right way? I'm not sure If I agree with your post. In my experiences it's never a good idea to pursue woman once they've given you a speech.

August 4, 2015

What's the right way? I'm not sure If I agree with your post. In my experiences it's never a good idea to pursue woman once they've given you a speech.

If she has given you the line it is probably best to let it be. Chances to get her are low and the investment you would need to make is too high.

However you can learn from your experiences. Think it through, where did it go wrong? Was there a genuine connection while meeting her but did she flake only while trying to set up the date through texting? If so it can help to set up a date while speaking to her face to face, before actually asking her number (don't ask her number at all in fact, just wait until she offers you her number after you have set up a date, if she is interested she will do this). If she flakes after the date has already been set up she may not have felt enough attraction and connection to you so work on being more attractive and make her feel a genuine connection during your conversations.

August 4, 2015

It's not worth the effort. Once they're not interested it's better to move on.

August 4, 2015

Both instances, we met and had a great connection, had seeded a date while there and was given the number.

I got both girls out on a first date. Both girls gave the speech when trying to set up a 2nd date.

August 4, 2015

I've been running into this line a lot lately..

First girl, "That date idea sounds cute! Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I take a lot of time to process things and I just don't think that it's a good time for me to be dating anyone right now."

and now tonight, "Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to you. I've been having a bit of a problem.. You're great and I had fun. I just don't think it's the right time for me to be seeing anyone."

Now, I'm not an idiot.. I've been around the block enough to know that this is just a soft rejection. If you met the guy/girl of your dreams, regardless of any situation, you would find a way to make it work.

Though, what the ****.. I thought I'd ask. Assuming, that, by chance, this girl is being genuine and it did take her this long to make a decision, that she liked me but thought the circumstances weren't ideal..

Is there anything that can be done/said that might sway them into giving it a shot?

I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

Yeah, you're right about it being a kind way of saying she's not interested. I wouldn't pursue it, I'd just reply "good luck" to her.

August 4, 2015

Both instances, we met and had a great connection, had seeded a date while there and was given the number.

I got both girls out on a first date. Both girls gave the speech when trying to set up a 2nd date.

Well make sure your first date is fun. Screw going for coffee etc, coffee is a recipe for a very boring and failed date. If you are having problems keeping the girls interested and engaged during the first date (which seems to be the problem) pull out the big guns and organise fun first dates. Offer to go carting, kayaking or something else that's fun by itself and easily accessible from where you live, meet 30 mins beforehand and quickly grab a drink somewhere.

August 4, 2015

There is really no point to analyze rejection or argue someone into liking you. If someone is not interested in dating in general or dating you then it means just that, it is just information. Maybe they come up with a white lie, maybe they are telling the truth, either way it doesn't matter. Now you know and you can move along with other options.

August 4, 2015

I've been running into this line a lot lately..

First girl, "That date idea sounds cute! Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I take a lot of time to process things and I just don't think that it's a good time for me to be dating anyone right now."

and now tonight, "Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to you. I've been having a bit of a problem.. You're great and I had fun. I just don't think it's the right time for me to be seeing anyone."

Now, I'm not an idiot.. I've been around the block enough to know that this is just a soft rejection. If you met the guy/girl of your dreams, regardless of any situation, you would find a way to make it work.

Though, what the ****.. I thought I'd ask. Assuming, that, by chance, this girl is being genuine and it did take her this long to make a decision, that she liked me but thought the circumstances weren't ideal..

Is there anything that can be done/said that might sway them into giving it a shot?

I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

Make no mistake OP. It's your standard blow off. Do not text back, just ignore and move on.

August 4, 2015

This isn't exactly true. Persistence can pay off big time... you just have to do it the right way.

No no no no and no!

SW am glad continuing to pursue worked out for YOU, but speaking personally and for most women I know and interact with, whenever a guy continued to pursue me after blowing him off, I just got super annoyed and thought he was a pathetic loser, and in some cases, a stalker!

No matter how smooth his MO was...ugh.

August 4, 2015

Make no mistake OP. It's your standard blow off. Do not text back, just ignore and move on.

Like I said, I was 99% certain what it is. Just checking to see on the off chance.

I didn't respond and I'm not going to.

Cheers, all.

August 4, 2015

The only time I could see continuing to pursue working (as SW suggested) was if her blow off was some "test" to see if you would chase her!

I know women that do that too. Maybe those were the type of women SW had success with. They were always interested, they just wanted to see how hard he would chase!

But OP, that does not sound like the case here. They're not interested, period.

Move on, sorry.

August 4, 2015

Like I said, I was 99% certain what it is. Just checking to see on the off chance.

I didn't respond and I'm not going to.

Cheers, all.

Okay awesome. I just didn't want you getting thrown off by what Sawtooth suggested (about being persistent and continuing to pursue). And not listening to the women here because we're *stupid* about dating.

That's all.

Cheers right back at ya! :)

Edited August 4, 2015 by katiegrl

August 4, 2015

I didn't respond and I'm not going to.

Not responding makes you look like some butthurt loser who feels rejected, and after just one date there is no need to feel that way. Instead kill them with kindness so to speak, after all they did take the time to politely blow you off, so reply by saying you had a nice time, she is a sweet girl, good luck, blah blah blah. You don't need to mean any of it, but doing so makes you seems like a super cool guy with class and manners who's got way too many dating options to be upset about her.

Not replying is what bitter, sad, lonely men do and it's not sexy. Truth is, it doesn't matter whether you reply or not, way but responding with niceness makes you the bigger person. And if you ever run into her and her insanely hot, single friend she might put in a good word for you:cool:.

August 4, 2015

Not responding makes you look like some butthurt loser who feels rejected, and after just one date there is no need to feel that way. Instead kill them with kindness so to speak, after all they did take the time to politely blow you off, so reply by saying you had a nice time, she is a sweet girl, good luck, blah blah blah. You don't need to mean any of it, but doing so makes you seems like a super cool guy with class and manners who's got way too many dating options to be upset about her.

Not replying is what bitter, sad, lonely men do and it's not sexy. Truth is, it doesn't matter whether you reply or not, way but responding with niceness makes you the bigger person. And if you ever run into her and her insanely hot, single friend she might put in a good word for you:cool:.

I don't think ignoring makes a man seem bitter (in a woman's eyes, not in mine anyway) ...I never felt a man was bitter or a "butthurt loser" whenever he ignored my blowing him off.

To the contrary, I thought he was a stable mature adult, who did not take my blowing him off personally and was moving on.

However, if he were to have texted me back saying "I enjoyed meeting you, good luck to you," I would have thought that was really nice and I would always remember him fondly even though I felt no attraction.

So good suggestion....

Edited August 4, 2015 by katiegrl

August 4, 2015

Both instances, we met and had a great connection

You had a great connection, how do you know that she also did too?

Actually you already know that she must have not because then she'd be eager to have the next date asap. Also if she takes a while to write something that basically says no then that means she almost couldn't be bothered to say no, that's how bad it was.

Getting angry at a women for turning you down is like getting angry at a seller for rejecting your offer — you can't expect them to accept if they just don't want to.

Edited August 4, 2015 by wb1988

August 4, 2015

Not responding makes you look like some butthurt loser who feels rejected, and after just one date there is no need to feel that way. Instead kill them with kindness so to speak, after all they did take the time to politely blow you off, so reply by saying you had a nice time, she is a sweet girl, good luck, blah blah blah. You don't need to mean any of it, but doing so makes you seems like a super cool guy with class and manners who's got way too many dating options to be upset about her.

Not replying is what bitter, sad, lonely men do and it's not sexy. Truth is, it doesn't matter whether you reply or not, way but responding with niceness makes you the bigger person. And if you ever run into her and her insanely hot, single friend she might put in a good word for you:cool:.

I totally concur ^^^

August 4, 2015

You had a great connection, how do you know that she also did too?

Actually you already know that she must have not because then she'd be eager to have the next date asap. Also if she takes a while to write something that basically says no then that means she almost couldn't be bothered to say no, that's how bad it was.

Getting angry at a women for turning you down is like getting angry at a seller for rejecting your offer — you can't expect them to accept if they just don't want to.

Who said I'm angry at all? Have I called her any bad names? Have I said anything that's remotely disrespectful? I'm disappointed. Not angry.

All I know is we met one night, she pursued me, she put her number in my phone, she was excited for a date. We went on said date, had a good conversation for a few hours, I took her hand and we walked back to my car. We had an intense make-out session for awhile before getting in my car. She put on some music and I took her home. She said to text me when I was free next.

So, I don't think I was wrong in assuming how the events unfolded that things were going -relatively- well. They didn't go well enough, clearly. I'm not angry, maybe a little perplexed, but whatever that's dating.

August 4, 2015

When they tell you, "It's not the right time for me to be dating right now", it means either:

1) Sometimes it's just an excuse.

2) Or she could be on the rebound, still heartbroken from the previous breakup/divorce and not yet ready to love another again.

Note that in both cases, the bottom line is, she's not attracted to you, so it's not a match, and probably never will be.

August 4, 2015

If you met the guy/girl of your dreams, regardless of any situation, you would find a way to make it work.

But are YOU the guy of their dreams? That's the question. One sided relationships never work out in the long run. You may not be, hence them letting you go.

Though, what the ****.. I thought I'd ask. Assuming, that, by chance, this girl is being genuine and it did take her this long to make a decision, that she liked me but thought the circumstances weren't ideal..

Is there anything that can be done/said that might sway them into giving it a shot?

Nope. They are where they are. IME, when that response is given, there is some unfinished business with an ex going on and their feelings are no where near being resolved from that. They may have tried to make themselves feel something that they cannot sustain and to fake it just to make you happy would end up going horribly wrong eventually. You can't build a relationship upon a lie.

I responded to the first girl. I am thinking about just not responding at all to this one. But, let me hear your input either way.. like I said, I know that it's just a nice rejection but let's see if any one has ever gotten around this in the past.

Generally speaking, IME, once they've said this, they're nailing that door shut. No amount of pleading with them or trying to talk them out of it works--besides, you can't possibly be that hard up that you would waste your time on someone who has already told you nicely that there is no future. You dont' want to push them to a**#ole mode in order for you to get the message.

I've had a number of men that I really wanted to explore a relationship with who all said pretty much what this chick has said--and perhaps they really weren't in a place to be with someone new; perhaps I wasn't who they were looking for. Whatever their reason, to then start throwing haymakers at them in an attempt to get them to change their minds would be relinquishing my dignity for no gain. There is nothing there to go through all of that. Some you win, some you lose. That's how life and dating in these 2015 streets work.

Edited August 4, 2015 by kendahke

August 4, 2015

This isn't exactly true. Persistence can pay off big time... you just have to do it the right way.

Persistence is annoying and if I've already told you that I'm not interested, then employing persistence shows me that you're selfish and all about you, which turns me even further off and you go on block.

I just had that happen to me with a guy on OLD. I wasn't interested; was respectful about it. He persisted; I reiterated my "thanks but no thanks"; then turned nasty and was put on block. I don't have time for guys who can't take no for an answer. I don't owe this guy my time and attention just because he's interested. It doesn't work like that.

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"Not the right time to be dating" line

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