Eagle55 Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 I posted a thread before and it led me to few new questions. Backstory: I like a girl that's long distance. Our schedules never allowed us to hangout after only meeting the initial time. We stayed in contact via text and social media. We agreed on a mutual event where we were both going to be in the same town to finally hang out after several months of texting. The week before the event her texts became less enthusiastic. She randomly admitted she just started talking to someone very recently. She said it was new and they were just talking but still wanted us to meet. When we did meet up it was better than expected. Tons in common, talked for hours. Very confused on how to act moving forward being I want to pursue her and she isn't in a relationship yet. She said to check back in, in a few weeks but I know better than to wait but want to do something. My intentions are clear. So since then we have had some minimal contact. I initiated most of it and it all has been light hearted and just to keep lines open. I have been torn between feeling whether I should keep talking to her or stop all together so I don't look desperate. She seemed genuinely interested in me and hated it took so long for us to hang out. The guy she is "talking" to is obviously a local to where she lives now. So I am already at a disadvantage in that category and I think that's why she isn't sure how to handle it. I can stop communication and see if she reaches out or I can continue to show interest so I am not out of sight AND mind. I don't want to do nothing yet I don't want to be too available. Yes before some of you say she has made you an "option" and to forget her completely. Remember she was talking to this guy before me but wanted us to still meet. Also, I live 3 hours away. I want her to be a wedding date for me and she asked a bunch of questions about it when I asked her and that when she said to check back in. I think she is interested but doesn't know what to do since she already is talking to someone. Maybe I am being optimistic but when I text she responds but it is just weird because I don't know what may cross the line. She sends me snap chats of inside jokes (so I know they are to me) randomly. I have only text her a few times since we hung out and it is only for a few exchanges and as I said it never goes anywhere because I don't want to over pursue.
hakim Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 "She randomly admitted she just started talking to someone very recently." Bottom line is she has met someone closer to home, and you're slowly but surely becoming her male best friend. I think you're smothering her too, which is pushing her way even more. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 You can keep talking to her if you like but she no longer sees you as a romantic prospect. If you want to date her, reduce contact because all you will do is sit there pining while she deepens her relationship with the other guy
Author Eagle55 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Posted August 3, 2015 "She randomly admitted she just started talking to someone very recently." Bottom line is she has met someone closer to home, and you're slowly but surely becoming her male best friend. I think you're smothering her too, which is pushing her way even more. I understand what you are saying and I think the guy being closer to home is a major part. Neither of us have dated anyone exclusive for a while. I honestly don't think it is coming across as us being friends. She knows I am interested but I do get the point that continuing to reach out isn't a help to the cause and can put me in that category. I don't think I have talked to her enough to smother her. I have texted her twice and we chatted back and forth for a few lines twice in the last week. Nothing special. But maybe that's why the convos have been lack luster. She doesn't want to deal with that right now. You can keep talking to her if you like but she no longer sees you as a romantic prospect. If you want to date her, reduce contact because all you will do is sit there pining while she deepens her relationship with the other guy As stated above I can completely see how that can be true. I am planning to stop reaching out and see if she does any on her end. If not then I guess that is all I could do. I have made my intentions clear. I just wanted to keep letting her know I was interested but maybe a little mystery won't hurt. I guess worst case scenario I can always reach out a month or so down the line, but who knows what tomorrow brings haha.
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