allymac Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 My boyfriend and I met living long distance and I recently moved to his hometown for him. At the time I believed this move was temporary because he was starting to become unhappy in his job and wanted to get work in a slightly different field. His hometown is small and rural so we were talking about moving to a bigger city for more options. This idea was preferable to me because his hometown is not only smaller than I'm used to but also far from family and friends. The thing is he loves the rural life and being close to his family and friends. He hates big cities and his long term goal is being able to afford to buy land. He ended up getting a new job in his hometown but in the same field as before so initially said he would still look at getting in to a different field. Lately though he has been talking about his new job having better promotion opportunities than his last one and if he sticks at it he will be closer to being able to afford the land he wants. I have a sinking feeling it will be near impossible to persuade him to move now he likes his new job. The thing is I don't mind the idea of living rurally later in life but right now I would still like to be somewhere with more to do. I also wish I could see my family more than once a year. My qualifications are in a area where it is near impossible to find work so after college I kept working customer service jobs in shops and restaurants etc. So I suppose the other issue is that its mainly my boyfriends income that supports us so from that angle it makes sense to focus on his career and I would feel selfish to insist on us moving just for fun, since I may not be able to get a better job anywhere else anyway. Does it seem unreasonable to push for a move to elsewhere? I am ok with where I am for now I am just worried I'll wake up in a few years time wishing I had done something different.
mystikmind2005 Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 In life, in my experience, I find the risks i decided not to do, become regrets more frequently than the risks i did decide to do.
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 At this point you need to start doing what's best for you. Send out resumes where you want to live. If you get a job. move. If he doesn't follow, end it. You moved to him & then he flipped the script on you which isn't fair (& IMO why you don't relocate when not married unless you independently are dying to live there)
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