heva423 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I'll never forget the day we truly met each other. I knew after that day I was drawn to you, I needed to see you again, I felt a spark that I never felt before. I did not know that day that I was going to fall in love with you, and be so lost without you. Sometimes I sit and think of the moment i realized I was in love with you. You drove home days early and out of your way, just to spend some extra time with me. I missed you but I wasn't ready to say it yet. And then you were standing there in front of me, you grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. You didn't have to say anything, the look in your eyes said it all. I knew then that this all was more than a spark. I knew that I needed to have so much more with you. Days went by and our relationship grew. We spend many moment together, learning so much. You'd lay there, just holding me close because it just felt right. You'd put your head on my chest just to hear my heartbeat. We'd finish each other's sentences, hold hands everywhere just because we needed to touch, travel to new places just for the adventure and so much more. You'd take care of me in every way possible. 8 short months feel like 8 long years. I felt like we knew everything about each other. There was never a moment when we were shy or embarrassed around one another. I'll never forget that day my heart broke. You had to leave, I know why, I understand. I don't hate you for it, it's what's best for your life. But what do I do? You know I'm not under the right circumstances to move just yet. But 1200 miles is so far. I wish it was a little closer, just so I could get to you. So I could feel your skin against mine again, feel your gentle touch. I can't sleep at night laying in our bed. Your side still smells like you. In the mornings I can still hear you singing to me and bringing up coffee for us. When I fall asleep at night I still reach for one last goodnight kiss. This house is so empty without you and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. Even though you aren't here physically, all of our memories are. Things may not be as hard on you, although you aren't surrounded by our life together. I'm still finding notes that you left for me. Just when I think I've found the last one, I'll find another a few weeks later. I like to think that you forgot your sweatshirt on purpose although I know that it's your only one and you need it. I'll probably mail it to you as soon as your smell is gone because i know you'll probably want it back. When I close my eyes sometimes I can still feel your arms wrapped tightly around me, like they way they were when you would pull me close in the middle of the night. Sometimes I wonder though if this distance will break us. If you will forget the time we shared. You say you won't, but things just aren't the same. I hope when we meet again it will be for the last time because honestly, I never want to feel the pain of having you ripped out of my life again. I'm sorry for the times I hurt you. For the times I was selfish. For the times I seemed insensitive. I wish I could go back and think a little clearer. I wish I could go back and find you just a little sooner so I could have more time with you. I would give anything to have a few more days with you. To just feel the brush of your fingertips on my face. One more day to feel whole again. I need my best friend next to me. I know deep down well make it. It will be tough but we will make it through this, we do everything together......so we can do this. I'll always love you, I'll always need you, And I'll always be here for you. Hold on to me, hold on to our memories and hold on to all that was and is us because if this isn't love, then I don't know what is.
katiegrl Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 You posted about this guy in June and it seemed you made it through a rough patch, and things were going well! I was really rooting for you! You say he *had* to leave? Why? How long will he be gone? Will you be continuing your RL long distance? It's a beautiful letter. Put in your drawer, don't send it. Someday, if you get married, or even before, when you both are fully committed, you can read it to him. Not now. Good luck hon.... ((hugs))
Author heva423 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Posted August 3, 2015 (edited) You posted about this guy in June and it seemed you made it through a rough patch, and things were going well! I was really rooting for you! You say he *had* to leave? Why? How long will he be gone? Will you be continuing your RL long distance? It's a beautiful letter. Put in your drawer, don't send it. Someday, if you get married, or even before, when you both are fully committed, you can read it to him. Not now. Good luck hon.... ((hugs)) He is in the navy and got stationed in Florida. I am in a completely different state and finishing up my last year of my bachelors. I don't have the ability financially to transfer out of state and have a lot that still roots me here. yes, things with us are going so well and him having to move was kind of sudden. We both are having a rough time with it and i try not to overwhelm him with how i feel because i don't want to stress him out or worry him. So i share it here lol but the plan is for me to move down there once i finish school....a year is just a long time and i hope that our connection stays this strong through it all. Thanks for the support, it makes all of this feel a little easier:) Edited August 3, 2015 by heva423
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