Jomp1972 Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 Extremely confused and hurt. I have been dating someone for a little over a year now. We have had our problems just like everyone else, but it seems when we get really happy something happens to knock us over. Last year in September, I tell you I was never so happy and I was in a relationship with no problems. But one day my boyfriend told me that he didn't know if he wanted this. That he needed two weeks, not to call him that he would call me. See we were attending a lot of weddings and he freaked out as to whether or not he was ready for marriage and whether or not I was the one. Needless to say he came back and wanted a relationship with me, that he figured out I was what he wanted. About two weeks after that he got distant. Then two weeks after that he broke up with me saying "I just don't feel it anymore." I was devastated, I mean what the hell was the "two weeks" about if he was just going to break up with me a month later. When I went to get my stuff, I could see how Anyway, a week later he did this whole romantic evening, and explained to me that it actually hardly anything to do with me. He was totally stressed out about work and home and life basically. hurt he was in his eyes, I could see that he loved me and I couldn't understand what was going on, but when I left that day I knew that it wasn't over. He told me that I was the one and only constant in his life that he wanted and needed. He told me that he can't live without me, that he loves me with every thing he has and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, have kids and grow old with me. He couldn't stop talking about it for months. I thought everything was going good. I caught him in a stupid lie about who he as on the phone with one night and I told him that if he ever lies to me again I was walking away, even if it was something stupid! I have always told him from the beginning of our relationship that if you even think about being with another person to please have enough respect for me as a person to break up with me first. He says that he is not interested in anyone else. But needless to say that two weeks ago I found him on an on-line personal ad. So I signed up and wrote him under a false name and he wrote back to me. He really didn't say much other than he was glad his picture didn't scare him away. When I confronted him about it, he was confused, then he tried to blow it off as unimportant. Anyway, now we are talking and figuring out what we are going to do with our relationship. He says that if we get back together then he wants to move forward and be living with each other within 6 months. He asked me if I could ever trust him again, and I honestly don't know. I told him to truly think about what he wants before he tries to get me back. I told him that I need a man who is honest, doesn't have a fear of committment, who is faithful and who wants the same thing I want. I want marriage and kids and a true committed relationship, a true partner in life. I know that he loves me, I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me, I just don't know if he will ever know what he wants, and even then will it be too late? Thanks
outdated Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 If it's important to you and you see him in your future than you have to ride it out. I know it sounds painful, but I'm in the same situation myself. I know my ex (who dumped me) still has feelings for me, but she is also from the school of a thousand painful dumpings and was afraid i'd do the same to her. It's important that they get their head together, even though it's painful to wait. If you don't let them, they will continue to do the same cycle of make-up break up. My ex wanted time to herself, and I have honored that. the reality of it is that we may never get back together, but if we do, it will be for the long haul. I, like you, don't feel that it's truly over, but you can't hold on forever. The minute you truly let go is the moment they seem to pop up. If you truly love each other there is no such thing as too late. You need time for your head too.
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