KyleN94 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) First time blogging, but basically... Been with a girl for 3 year, well 3 year on 06 of August to be precise so literally just split up before our anniversary :/ but yeah we have been on and off quite abit for some time now which obviously isn't a good sign to some people but we always tried, because we were worth so much to each other to stop fighting we had to keep trying. Now we've had about 3 major break ups where we have both been upset and the longest we've been split for is about a month, I've done all of the no contact and stuff before but yeah this time it's different. She suffers anxiety and depression so it's not the best and despite my best efforts she is still unhappy and upset, and this time since we've split up, of course all I want to do is get back with her, beg her whatever whatever but I'm trying my hardest to keep her best interests in mind and keep her on the right track, I haven't text her and she has rang me once saying she loved me and I just said stop your making it harder for both of us, I kept it short and sweet and soon enough I was off the phone. I know she cares about me and still loves me she is just doing this for herself? She used to be so happy and as much as I want her back, or I could play all sorts of cards to get her back and I know that (without being big headed) I'm keeping my upset to one side and not showing her, I am trying my best just to make sure she can move on and be happy, it kills me and yes I know I will get over her just like everyone else and that it will take time, but she will still remain special to me and I will always respect the time we've had together and any memories we've made. I also found out a couple of weeks ago that when we first got together she think she miscarried, she was just too scared to tell me. With it being in the past (over 2 year ago) it didn't really affect me , but I thought of it properly and if she didn't miscarry we would of been young parents (16 and 17) and yes I am glad to a degree that we weren't made young parents, but although she miscarried , in some way at that time even if we weren't aware, she was classed as a mother to my child and I was classed as a father in some sort of way, and it makes me sad but it is this happy memory that is helping me move forward, knowing that although she miscarried and I had no idea or whatever, that the girl I love was technically a mother to my unborn child, and I can carry that with me forever. I do love her, and I want her back, but I'm putting her first and all I want is her to be happy, I will leave her alone , I am depressed I will not lie, I have too much on my mind atm as it is, and it has sparked a sudden change in career as I am now training to join the army next year, I haven't told anyone and I don't wish too. I just want away from all of this, and at least I can help in this career, thoughts and comments are welcome no matter if they be positive or negative but I need some sort of feedback, thank you all who have read this, much appreciated Edited August 2, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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