Rexxy Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 I met this girl at the gym a week ago and we clicked instantly, we trained together a few times then on friday she asked me to come to her house after I finished work. We went out for dinner and ice-cream that night. At dinner was the first time she mentioned her bf and said that shes been having problems with him and doesn't think it will last much longer. The next day I texted her saying "You're someone I would prefer to date than be friends with so I think it's best if you contact me if things don't work out with you're boyfriend" She replied that she understood and hopes im around in the near future. 2 days later (today) she asked me what time we should go to the gym tonight because we discussed it earlier that week to train today. Did she miss the point that I only want her to contact me if she leaves her boyfriend? What do I do? She also mentioned at dinner that she gets annoyed at people that are un-reliable and she has to organize everything. 1
CarrieT Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 No works out together until/unless she is single. Tell her that you don't feel comfortable working out with her considering her situation. 2
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 No works out together until/unless she is single. Tell her that you don't feel comfortable working out with her considering her situation. I sent her a text saying " The other day I meant that I don't feel comfortable hanging or working out considering your situation and you should contact me if things don't work out with your boyfriend. If that sounds mean, its not my intention. I just think this is the best thing to do :)" Was that okay? 6
fitnessfan365 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I actually applaud you on how you handled that. Takes balls and shows integrity. It's a shame she doesn't have any herself. If she did, she wouldn't be out lining up a side piece while still being in a relationship. She'd break up with her BF first. My question is, what are you looking for? If it's a woman w-relationship potential, I'd walk away because of her shady behavior. However, if you just want a workout/f*ck buddy, then tell her to get in touch when she's single and bring up a gym/bedroom routine. 3
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Dude, just run. First off, you aren't that desperate. Second, you really want a piece of this dirty cheater? You think you're so special she won't do you the exact same way? If they cheat with you, they cheat on you. You wanna worry about having the mans sexual fluids inside you? That's what happens when you share, you know. Cheaters gonna cheat. Doesn't mean you have to be a part of it or respect people who are. Even if she did leave her man for you, you'd just be left with ratchet, scheming, trifling B. Surely you can do better and even if she is a temptress is just not worth it. You need to nope right eff outta there and consider yourself lucky. This siren almost ran your boat into the rocks, but you plugged your ears with wax and stayed on course. Congratulations. 1
No Limit Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Yes, that message was okay. She's just fishing for extra-attention and sex on the side. 1
Popsicle Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I met this girl at the gym a week ago and we clicked instantly, we trained together a few times then on friday she asked me to come to her house after I finished work. We went out for dinner and ice-cream that night. At dinner was the first time she mentioned her bf and said that shes been having problems with him and doesn't think it will last much longer. The next day I texted her saying "You're someone I would prefer to date than be friends with so I think it's best if you contact me if things don't work out with you're boyfriend" She replied that she understood and hopes im around in the near future. 2 days later (today) she asked me what time we should go to the gym tonight because we discussed it earlier that week to train today. Did she miss the point that I only want her to contact me if she leaves her boyfriend? What do I do? She also mentioned at dinner that she gets annoyed at people that are un-reliable and she has to organize everything. Lol, Ahh yes I've experienced this before after telling a taken person this. They still want to cake eat. Just reply with nothing more than, "Have you and your boyfriend broken up yet?" If the answer is no, tell her to contact you when you they do, then ignore her. If the answer is yes, then keep talking to her and see her.
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Such amazing responses on this thread, thanks for the feedback! I'm not sure what I'm looking for...but she is really attractive! So a f buddy later on wouldn't hurt. I understand the whole 'cheaters keep cheating' thing. She responded with " Oh. I don't really understand what you mean by 'my situation' nor why me having a boyfriend eliminates us from even being friends. Even if your intentions aren't mean, I'm pretty cut to be honest" how in the world do I respond to that???
CarrieT Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 how in the world do I respond to that??? You can simply respond, "If *I* were your boyfriend, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a girl who hangs out and cultivates relationships with other guys." Leave it at that. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I'd respond with - "I find you way too attractive just to be friends. But feel free to touch base when you're single." 6
Fleur de cactus Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Such amazing responses on this thread, thanks for the feedback! I'm not sure what I'm looking for...but she is really attractive! So a f buddy later on wouldn't hurt. I understand the whole 'cheaters keep cheating' thing. She responded with " Oh. I don't really understand what you mean by 'my situation' nor why me having a boyfriend eliminates us from even being friends. Even if your intentions aren't mean, I'm pretty cut to be honest" how in the world do I respond to that??? She only said this because she is disappointed. She probably was hoping that you cannot resist her beauty and now she does not know she is frustrated. She can be upset it is ok. If she does not see how a gentleman you are, it is her problem. Tell her that if you were her bf you would not like to see her having a male friend who is interested in her. Dangerous game. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 But most importantly man, stick to your guns. She knows exactly what she did and now that you didn't bite, she's trying to manipulate you into feeling bad for her. 6
Popsicle Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Such amazing responses on this thread, thanks for the feedback! I'm not sure what I'm looking for...but she is really attractive! So a f buddy later on wouldn't hurt. I understand the whole 'cheaters keep cheating' thing. She responded with " Oh. I don't really understand what you mean by 'my situation' nor why me having a boyfriend eliminates us from even being friends. Even if your intentions aren't mean, I'm pretty cut to be honest" how in the world do I respond to that??? Say "Let's just talk and hang out once you break up". Surely, it should be happening soon, right, since it's such a bad relationship? so she can wait.
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Ok i just sent a text saying "I find you too attractive to just be friends. But feel free to message me when you're single. I'm doing the right thing here 'name' " Lets she how she responds to that. 2
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Is it possible to just be friends with her? Is it possible that that's all she was trying to have happen now? Or did it seem like a date? Did you pay? I have friends who are male.
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Such amazing responses on this thread, thanks for the feedback! I'm not sure what I'm looking for...but she is really attractive! So a f buddy later on wouldn't hurt. I understand the whole 'cheaters keep cheating' thing. She responded with " Oh. I don't really understand what you mean by 'my situation' nor why me having a boyfriend eliminates us from even being friends. Even if your intentions aren't mean, I'm pretty cut to be honest" how in the world do I respond to that??? Forbidden fruit is always so much sweeter. However, if she's hot, she's gonna get her hooks in you and then she'll be your problem. Forget it because this one is broken. Put it back on the shelf because I promise you, you'll regret it. I'm sure heroin feels really good too.. at least for a while. I had a feeling she was hot, lol. The crazy ones always are.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Ok i just sent a text saying "I find you too attractive to just be friends. But feel free to message me when you're single. I'm doing the right thing here 'name' " Lets she how she responds to that. The only part I don't like is the "I'm doing the right thing here". You don't have to justify yourself to her or get in an apologetic state of mind. If anything she should apologize to you for putting you in a position to possibly help her cheat on her BF. But no matter what she says on her next response, don't text her back. Just let it die for now. If and when she breaks up with the BF, she'll be in touch if she's still interested. No need to keep going back and forth on it.
Popsicle Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Ok i just sent a text saying "I find you too attractive to just be friends. But feel free to message me when you're single. I'm doing the right thing here 'name' " Lets she how she responds to that. She'll like you more and call you for sure when it's over!
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Is it possible to just be friends with her? Is it possible that that's all she was trying to have happen now? Or did it seem like a date? Did you pay? I have friends who are male. She paid for everything!
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 The only part I don't like is the "I'm doing the right thing here". You don't have to justify yourself to her or get in an apologetic state of mind. If anything she should apologize to you for putting you in a position to possibly help her cheat on her BF. But no matter what she says on her next response, don't text her back. Just let it die for now. If and when she breaks up with the BF, she'll be in touch if she's still interested. No need to keep going back and forth on it. Okay, will do. I kind of forgot she's the one that started this situation.
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 She'll like you more and call you for sure when it's over! Great! Now I'll just keep living my life and improving myself. Big learning curve today!
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Well, it's certainly possible she wasn't trying to cheat but just make more friends.
Author Rexxy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 She replied with "Aha and you don't think I'm immensely attracted to you either? I don't want to message you, you're far more interesting in person. So until I'm single, acting like we don't know each other is the 'right' thing to do?" Advice people???
Popsicle Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Great! Now I'll just keep living my life and improving myself. Big learning curve today! I am very proud of you.
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