I want her back, but are we right for each other? !!

[Subaruboy]

Hey guys Im 19 years old and this is the first time I have ever been dumped. I have never been this devastated before in my entire life and it has been two months since me and my girlfriend have broken up. It has been nearly six weeks since we have split and it seems that I'm not making very much progress. All I do is think about my ex girlfriend every day. We were together for 1 1/2 years and it was the best thing that I have ever had. I don't want to go into too much detail but I'd like advice and I'd like to hear other people's opinions on what they have to say.

 

Basically me and my ex girlfriend got together in January of 2014. From January to December of 2014 was great. Everything was going well and we fought but the fights were able to be resolved. Overall this girl means a lot to me and in 2014 she accidentally became pregnant, which led to an abortion. I believe this put a strain on our relationship because all she wanted was to be a mother. All she talked about was having a family and having kids. Unfortunately I guess I wasn't that emotional during the abortion because I was very scared of what my parents and her parents would think. So, my girlfriend thought I didn't care and she was devastated of losing the kid but also she loved to call me an ********* because I wasn't that emotional. Long story short towards the end of 2014 she was finishing up her first semester of college which didn't go to well. She was scared of telling her parents she was failing out of college. So, she decided to try to take her own life and this was completely out of the blue. Well anyways, she didn't succeed and went to the hospital for an overdose. So to sum this part up she was referred to a psychiatrist and she started to take the pill from the devil called Zoloft, which is an anti depressant.

 

Well I guess I have to go into detail about my girlfriends personality too. Basically she and her mom are exactly alike. When I first met her she was seeing a psychologist because she has certain anxieties, I believe it is called social anxiety. Her mother has similar problems but she also takes xanax to alleviate her anxiety symptoms. Anyways, my girlfriend is a jealous obsessive type, which is just like her mom. So as our relationship progressed i started to see less and less of my friends. Eventually when we hit about the 8th month mark of my relationship, I didn't see my friends what so ever. Every once in a blue moon, say every month in a half or so, I would see my boys to hangout. The problem with this was she was obsessive and jealous every time I'd hangout with them or if I was not with her. I basically saw this girl 24/7, literally for our whole relationship, I saw her just about 7 days a week. Slowly but surely we started to fight throughout 2014, it was more fighting about her being jealous and obsessive. Since the relationship was only going on for a few months I just decided to accept the way she was and I basically cut off all my friends. I just didn't want to deal with the fighting cause it seemed like every time I went out with my boys I would get into a fight. And no it is not like I was cheating or anything, I have no business doing that.

 

So, speaking in more recent terms from january 2015 to june 2015 the relationship started to go really downhill. This is where my problem with the anti depressants occur. My girlfriend who was obsessive and jealous seemed to get worse. Her whole personality flipped and she becomes MEGA jealous and obsessive. For example, if i looked or responded to a waitress while ordering food, it would set her off and wreck our whole date night. From January to June we fought often about the way she acted because I started to get sick of it. But when we fought she would not even care about the way I felt. But, before she was on the anti depressants she would at least listen to me and acknowledge certain aspects of the way I felt. Even when we fought prior to being on the anti depressants she at least showed emotion and cried. During those six months of fighting we broke up 4 times, including the break up now. During those fights they would get heated because I just couldn't deal with the way she acted. Overall I thought the medicine and a therapist that she is seeing would help, but it seems to make it worse. The main concern I have now is her personality change. Every time we broke up, which she was the dumper, I would come crawling back to her begging and crying. She'd take me back and we'd be okay for a few weeks/months and the fighting would start up again. Anyways my point is she didn't cry or seem to care when we broke up, like it didn't bother her as much as it bothered me and some how I always came begging back. Do you think the anti depressants changed her or is this really who she is?

 

I will not lie, I'm not an angel and I have raised my voice/yelled at her a few times for the way she acted but I reached my boiling point. I thought that maybe if I can just deal with the way she is, she'll eventually change because she is on meds and seeing a therapist. Obviously that wasn't the case. Anyways she dumped me in mid june because she said we are on different pages. The last month of our relationship I became tired and sick of the way she acted. Quite honestly I started to not give her as much attention and I was always playing on my phone or watching TV when with her. I didn't mean to do that but when I tried talking to her about her problems she felt that I'm more of the cause or I need to see a therapist because I get angry with her too much. Honestly I love this girl so much, a lot of people will probably say why would you want to be with a person like that? She was special and one of a kind, we went through a lot of things together and I really can't get over her. I wish she would change because I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I guess you can say I was unhappy the last month of my relationship, but I love her so much so I wanted to stay and see if she would change. Anyways a week after she broke up with me she found a new boyfriend or guy. He is apparently around thirty years old and she is only 19. I don't know how she could move on so quickly because she wasn't talking to him prior. This guy is her boss at her job. Which she started the job a week before we broke up, so its not like she knew him.

 

I know I'm blabbering but I have to get this all off my chest because I don't know where I stand with her. Basically she told me not to talk to her again blah blah blah. But she led me on for two weeks saying she loves me and she had sex with me. But after those two weeks she said she doesn't want to lead me on. She told me she doesn't want to see me because it makes her want to get back with me. I really want her back and I have heard from her in like 4 weeks. Im devastated and depressed. I almost took my life and I started hurting myself. This girl was literally my best friend and she meant everything to me, despite her flaws. Please help!! A few days before we broke up she told me to never leave her and that she loves me very much. I even bought her an expensive promise ring. I was very serious with this relationship and now its over.

 

Anyways, I'm a firefighter, going to college, and I work a part time job. Im usually tired and stressed. At times I couldn't deal with her crap and I'd usually raise my voice at her out of frustration because we fought often. Well guys please respond I'm trying to move on but I'd love to talk to her a last time just to talk about us.

[Downtown]

She was seeing a psychologist because she has certain anxieties... a jealous obsessive type.... she decided to try to take her own life.... she didn't succeed.

Firefighter (aka, "Subaruboy"), welcome to the LoveShack forum. The behaviors you describe -- i.e., event-triggered irrational anger, very controlling behavior, hating to be alone, suicide attempt, rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (pushing you away), irrational jealousy, and always being "The Victim" -- are some of the classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your exGF has full-blown BPD but, rather, that she might exhibit moderate to strong traits of it or another PD.

 

I caution that BPD is a "spectrum" disorder, which means every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all BPD traits to some degree (albeit at a low level if the person is healthy). At issue, then, is not whether your exGF exhibits BPD traits. Of course she does. We all do.

 

Rather, at issue is whether she exhibits those traits at a strong and persistent level (i.e., is on the upper end of the BPD spectrum). Not having met her, I cannot answer that question. I nonetheless believe you can spot any strong BPD warning signs that are present if you take a little time to learn which behaviors are on the list. They are not difficult to spot because there is nothing subtle about behaviors such as very controlling behavior, always being "The Victim," and temper tantrums.

 

During those six months of fighting we broke up 4 times.

If your exGF has strong BPD traits, that cycle of repeated breakups/makeups is to be expected. BPDer relationships are notorious for having multiple breakups. A BPDfamily survey of about 460 such relationships found that nearly a fourth of them (23%) went through 10 or more complete breakup/makeup cycles BEFORE finally ending for good. About 40% of the BPDer relationships experienced at least six breakup/makeup cycles before ending. And 73% had three or more breakup/makeup cycles before finally ending. See "Results" at BPDfamily Breakup/Makeup Poll.

 

She was special and one of a kind, we went through a lot of things together and I really can't get over her.

If she is a BPDer (i.e., has strong BPD traits), leaving her can be as painful as the withdrawal from heroine or cocaine. BPDer relationships tend to be highly addictive for the abused partner because the painful withdrawal periods (i.e., the times you're pushed away and frozen out) typically alternate with ecstatic periods of passionate highs. When a BPDer is being good, she is very VERY good. Think Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana -- both of whom were two of the world's most beloved women -- and both of whom had full-blown BPD if their biographers are correct. Generally speaking, BPDers are not bad people. Their basic problem is not being "bad" but, rather, being unstable.

 

I'm devastated and depressed. I almost took my life and I started hurting myself.

One possibility, Firefighter, is that you have your own set of emotional issues which you acquired in childhood and carried with you into that toxic relationship with your exGF. Another possibility, however, is that the relationship was so toxic that you have temporarily started mirroring some of the dysfunctional behaviors of your exGF. If you actually were dating a young woman with strong BPD traits for 18 months, consider yourself lucky if you are only feeling confused and depressed.

 

Of the 157 disorders listed in the APA's diagnostic manual (DSM-5), BPD is the one most notorious for making a large share of the abused partners feel like they may be losing their minds. This is why therapists see far more of those abused partners -- coming in to find out if they are going crazy -- than they ever see of the BPDers themselves.

 

In any event, I suggest you see a psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you've been dealing with and why it is you were thinking of killing yourself. I also suggest that, while you're looking for a good psychologist, you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues or your own issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a painful experience -- e.g., avoid taking her back and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like the one you left -- and may convince you that the red flags are sufficiently serious to warrant spending money on seeing a psychologist. Take care, Firefighter.

[seasickpeeve]

Sounds like you are carrying alot of guilt for the way you were in this relationship but you did the best you could at the time. You were dealing with a really difficult relationship that was taking all your energy to be in. I do think relationships like these are very addictive, especially when you fall into the thinking of 'if I try better, if I work harder, it will work'. It wasn't all on you to try to fix it, she had to work to fix it too.

 

Somethings can't be fixed whilst in the relationship. She has taken her issues straight into another relationship. She isn't facing up to her problems.

 

You have a chance now you are on your own to sit with your own problems for awhile and try to get yourself strong and stable again. You have just been on one hell of a ride! Take care of yourself before attempting to care for others. You need your love right now, not her.

[Subaruboy]

Firefighter (aka, "Subaruboy"), welcome to the LoveShack forum. The behaviors you describe -- i.e., event-triggered irrational anger, very controlling behavior, hating to be alone, suicide attempt, rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (pushing you away), irrational jealousy, and always being "The Victim" -- are some of the classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your exGF has full-blown BPD but, rather, that she might exhibit moderate to strong traits of it or another PD.

 

I caution that BPD is a "spectrum" disorder, which means every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all BPD traits to some degree (albeit at a low level if the person is healthy). At issue, then, is not whether your exGF exhibits BPD traits. Of course she does. We all do.

 

Rather, at issue is whether she exhibits those traits at a strong and persistent level (i.e., is on the upper end of the BPD spectrum). Not having met her, I cannot answer that question. I nonetheless believe you can spot any strong BPD warning signs that are present if you take a little time to learn which behaviors are on the list. They are not difficult to spot because there is nothing subtle about behaviors such as very controlling behavior, always being "The Victim," and temper tantrums.

 

If your exGF has strong BPD traits, that cycle of repeated breakups/makeups is to be expected. BPDer relationships are notorious for having multiple breakups. A BPDfamily survey of about 460 such relationships found that nearly a fourth of them (23%) went through 10 or more complete breakup/makeup cycles BEFORE finally ending for good. About 40% of the BPDer relationships experienced at least six breakup/makeup cycles before ending. And 73% had three or more breakup/makeup cycles before finally ending. See "Results" at BPDfamily Breakup/Makeup Poll.

 

If she is a BPDer (i.e., has strong BPD traits), leaving her can be as painful as the withdrawal from heroine or cocaine. BPDer relationships tend to be highly addictive for the abused partner because the painful withdrawal periods (i.e., the times you're pushed away and frozen out) typically alternate with ecstatic periods of passionate highs. When a BPDer is being good, she is very VERY good. Think Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana -- both of whom were two of the world's most beloved women -- and both of whom had full-blown BPD if their biographers are correct. Generally speaking, BPDers are not bad people. Their basic problem is not being "bad" but, rather, being unstable.

 

One possibility, Firefighter, is that you have your own set of emotional issues which you acquired in childhood and carried with you into that toxic relationship with your exGF. Another possibility, however, is that the relationship was so toxic that you have temporarily started mirroring some of the dysfunctional behaviors of your exGF. If you actually were dating a young woman with strong BPD traits for 18 months, consider yourself lucky if you are only feeling confused and depressed.

 

Of the 157 disorders listed in the APA's diagnostic manual (DSM-5), BPD is the one most notorious for making a large share of the abused partners feel like they may be losing their minds. This is why therapists see far more of those abused partners -- coming in to find out if they are going crazy -- than they ever see of the BPDers themselves.

 

In any event, I suggest you see a psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you've been dealing with and why it is you were thinking of killing yourself. I also suggest that, while you're looking for a good psychologist, you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues or your own issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a painful experience -- e.g., avoid taking her back and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like the one you left -- and may convince you that the red flags are sufficiently serious to warrant spending money on seeing a psychologist. Take care, Firefighter.

 

Thank you DownTown for the information and your response. I read the link of signs of BPD. To be honest almost everyone thing on there except maybe two things describes the way that she acts. Another thing you mentioned, which you hit the nail on the head is the person having really high highs, where she is acting really well behaved. It is amazing because some days she is really well behaved and than other days she completely flips, its crazy. I've read little information about BPD until now and I figured the therapist she is seeing would be able to diagnose if she has it or not. But I guess the therapist she is seeing hasn't really diagnosed it, or my ex-girlfriend never told me that it was diagnosed and she is hiding it. Another thing I noticed you mentioned is that the person that is being abuse also may develop a certain amount of traits that the abuser has. I don't think I have adapted some of her characteristics or not, but I know that if she went out with her friends I would start to get jealous and upset too. Which in my prior relationships never happened. I should see a therapist to talk to because I feel I need to get so much off my chest. As stupid as this sounds I'm just kind of embarrassed to go. But anyways thank you for your help it is really appreciated!

[Subaruboy]

Sounds like you are carrying alot of guilt for the way you were in this relationship but you did the best you could at the time. You were dealing with a really difficult relationship that was taking all your energy to be in. I do think relationships like these are very addictive, especially when you fall into the thinking of 'if I try better, if I work harder, it will work'. It wasn't all on you to try to fix it, she had to work to fix it too.

 

Somethings can't be fixed whilst in the relationship. She has taken her issues straight into another relationship. She isn't facing up to her problems.

 

You have a chance now you are on your own to sit with your own problems for awhile and try to get yourself strong and stable again. You have just been on one hell of a ride! Take care of yourself before attempting to care for others. You need your love right now, not her.

 

Thanks for your information and response. I believe I'm addicted to the relationship. It wasn't just her that I was attached to but also her family. I have a small family, it has really been me and my dad, but when I met her big family I grew very attached. You also mentioned about me trying to fix the relationship, which is very true. During the relationship I thought I was the major problem and in fact I tried acting in different ways and responding with less anger to her jealousy and obsessive behavior but it just got to a point where I was drained. I just find it amazing how I gave and put in so much into this relationship and the end result is a disaster. Especially, all the promises she made to me, telling me that we would be together forever. I guess I had my hopes up on finding the "one" and it just disappointed me. But anyways, thank you very much for your information and help. I never thought going on a forum and talking to people about your own issues would help. But now I feel a little better. I guess you can say I have a lot of guilt because I feel it was my fault, but it really isn't.

[Subaruboy]

Oh, another thing @Downtown. After her pregnancy and abortion she was constantly obsessed with having a baby. She was secretly trying to get pregnant in certain ways. Not that this matters but this played a big portion in our relationship. It seemed like she wanted a baby from me and it was one of her main priorities while I was with her. Any info on this type of behavior? Or is this normal for a 19 year old?

[Learningtowalkagain]

Thank you DownTown for the information and your response. I read the link of signs of BPD. To be honest almost everyone thing on there except maybe two things describes the way that she acts. Another thing you mentioned, which you hit the nail on the head is the person having really high highs, where she is acting really well behaved. It is amazing because some days she is really well behaved and than other days she completely flips, its crazy. I've read little information about BPD until now and I figured the therapist she is seeing would be able to diagnose if she has it or not. But I guess the therapist she is seeing hasn't really diagnosed it, or my ex-girlfriend never told me that it was diagnosed and she is hiding it. Another thing I noticed you mentioned is that the person that is being abuse also may develop a certain amount of traits that the abuser has. I don't think I have adapted some of her characteristics or not, but I know that if she went out with her friends I would start to get jealous and upset too. Which in my prior relationships never happened. I should see a therapist to talk to because I feel I need to get so much off my chest. As stupid as this sounds I'm just kind of embarrassed to go. But anyways thank you for your help it is really appreciated!

 

I dated a girl with BPD for a year. Worst roller coaster ride of my life.. Downtown really opened my eyes. I broke up with her 4 times before I finally was done done. She was jealous of any female I'd come into contact with. Same as you I stopped hanging with my friends. The first few months were unreal, then it was a steady downhill fall. This is typical with people with BPD. They are seductive and know how to draw you in. They pull their **** then manipulate you back by acting normal. Selfish doesn't begin to describe their behavior. Thd last straw for me was her jealousy of my daughter. She actually asked me to devote more time and affection towards her and less on my daughter.

 

The problem is you're trying to have a functional relationship with a dysfunctional person. Anxiety/depression go hand in hand with most people with BPD. Know this, without therapy she WILL NOT change. I would never date another girl with strong BPD traits. Like downtown said, the withdraw is horrible like a drug.

[Subaruboy]

I dated a girl with BPD for a year. Worst roller coaster ride of my life.. Downtown really opened my eyes. I broke up with her 4 times before I finally was done done. She was jealous of any female I'd come into contact with. Same as you I stopped hanging with my friends. The first few months were unreal, then it was a steady downhill fall. This is typical with people with BPD. They are seductive and know how to draw you in. They pull their **** then manipulate you back by acting normal. Selfish doesn't begin to describe their behavior. Thd last straw for me was her jealousy of my daughter. She actually asked me to devote more time and affection towards her and less on my daughter.

 

The problem is you're trying to have a functional relationship with a dysfunctional person. Anxiety/depression go hand in hand with most people with BPD. Know this, without therapy she WILL NOT change. I would never date another girl with strong BPD traits. Like downtown said, the withdraw is horrible like a drug.

 

Thank you for your response and info much appreciated. You mentioned that your ex became jealous of any girl that got in contact with you. That is the exact same thing that happens to me. Any girl to approach me, even long time family friends, she gets jealous of. A good story I have is our friday night dinners. Every friday night we would go out to sonic, which is like 30 miles from where I live. We went up to sonic and the server was very friendly and asked me how good of a job she did in making the food look like the actual picture. I responded to the server in a friendly manner, and boom, that sparked a huge fight between us. Long story short the night ended abruptly with us leaving the restaurant and driving back 30 miles with her upset. To be honest it is nice to hear other people went through this because it makes me feel that maybe I am not the problem. As always, thank you for your info and help, it really is helping me along.

[Downtown]

Any girl to approach me, even long time family friends, she gets jealous of.

If she has strong BPD traits, that jealous behavior is to be expected, Firefighter. A BPDer's greatest fear is abandonment. Even when she is momentarily convinced you truly love her, she will live in fear that you will walk out as soon as you realize how empty she is inside. This is one reason a BPDer often will preemptively abandon a partner so he is unable to do it to her.

 

A second reason for pushing the partner away is the BPDer's other great fear: that of engulfment caused by intimacy. Because a BPDer has a fragile, weak sense of who she really is, she will get a scary suffocating feeling during intimacy that she is evaporating into thin air -- losing herself in your strong personality. This is why it is common for BPDers to start fights -- over absolutely nothing at all -- immediately after an intimate evening spent together -- or midway through a wonderful vacation.

 

I figured the therapist she is seeing would be able to diagnose if she has it or not. But I guess the therapist she is seeing hasn't really diagnosed it, or my ex-girlfriend never told me that it was diagnosed and she is hiding it.

As I said, I don't know whether your exGF has full-blown BPD or not. I can tell you, however, that it is unlikely the therapist would tell her the name of the disorder if she did diagnose it as being BPD. Indeed, it is unlikely the therapist would report it to the insurance company. There are several reasons for this withholding of information which I discuss at Loath to Diagnose BPD.

 

The bottom line is that HER therapist is ethically bound to protect her client's best interests and it usually is not in those best interests for the BPDer to be told. This is one reason I suggested that, if you want to obtain a candid professional opinion about your exGF's issues, it would be prudent to speak to YOUR OWN psychologist and not rely on hers. A therapist seeing only you will be ethically bound to protect YOUR best interests, not hers.

 

I noticed you mentioned is that the person that is being abuse also may develop a certain amount of traits that the abuser has.

The websites devoted to the abused ex-partners of BPDers usually refer to this process as "picking up fleas." If you are an excessive caregiver like me, your empathy is so great that you have very low personal boundaries and -- with a BPDer -- will tend to become too enmeshed with her. That is, you would have difficulty telling where YOUR problems leave off and HERS begin. The result would be your acquiring some of her behaviors and defense mechanisms -- an outcome that is temporary because those "fleas" would drop off after you leave the R/S and start to heal.

[spiderowl]

It seems you were reacting to her behaviour by switching off and occasionally getting angry. This sounds quite understandable as she sounds a very complex person. It may be that she is struggling with grief over the loss of the baby but it sounds like there is a lot more going on too. You were both quite young to be in that position and it would be difficult for anyone to cope with. If you are struggling in a relationship or having doubts, it tends to 'come out' in behaviour. If you were switching off to your girlfriend, it is a sign that you were not happy with the way things were either.

 

I know you miss her terribly. We do get attached to people and bond with them. It takes time to untangle those bonds and a first step to doing that is to recognise when a relationship would not have worked anyway. It does sound like yours would have been awfully complex and demanding and that it was breaking up on and off for some time before the final split. Can you honestly say she was making you happy? I think this tumultuous relationship would have carried on being dramatic and stressful. By the way, people do get addicted to drama and feel the lack of it when it's not there.

Edited August 2, 2015 by spiderowl

[aloneinaz]

Whether this girl has a diagnosable disorder or not, the bottom line is she's not mentally stable. She appears to have more baggage than a fully loaded 747 airplane.

 

 

The biggest issue is you and your ability to move forward with you life w/out her in it. Trust me, I've dated someone just like this one with all the same issues. It never gets better, it only gets worse.

 

 

You're a young guy with everything in front of you. Learn from us who've escaped from a damaged, mentally unstable woman. I'm sure you have many single, attractive girls all around you that are NORMAL and healthy. When you're ready, you should explore those opportunities.

 

 

Once you start dating a normal, emotionally healthy woman where you don't have to walk around on egg shells, you'll be mad that you put up with the bat @hit crazy ex as long as you did.

[Subaruboy]

It seems you were reacting to her behaviour by switching off and occasionally getting angry. This sounds quite understandable as she sounds a very complex person. It may be that she is struggling with grief over the loss of the baby but it sounds like there is a lot more going on too. You were both quite young to be in that position and it would be difficult for anyone to cope with. If you are struggling in a relationship or having doubts, it tends to 'come out' in behaviour. If you were switching off to your girlfriend, it is a sign that you were not happy with the way things were either.

 

I know you miss her terribly. We do get attached to people and bond with them. It takes time to untangle those bonds and a first step to doing that is to recognise when a relationship would not have worked anyway. It does sound like yours would have been awfully complex and demanding and that it was breaking up on and off for some time before the final split. Can you honestly say she was making you happy? I think this tumultuous relationship would have carried on being dramatic and stressful. By the way, people do get addicted to drama and feel the lack of it when it's not there.

 

Thank you for your response and info!! I honestly was happy with being with her and I loved the person she was. But it became to the point where I just couldn't really deal with her crap. I guess I'm more upset now than ever cause she was able to move on so quick. She made so many promises and she said so many things, to where I thought that maybe we will fix our problems and at least last for a while. I have been attached to her hip for a long time, I saw her 24/7 and I guess I started to get irritated and annoyed by everything. This girl had a constant need for attention and when I wasn't giving it to her it would result in a fight. Another thing was I found myself trying to make things up to do or say I'm busy to burn some time before I went over her house, because I saw her so much. I really miss her and want her back, but it doesn't seem like she wants me back. But oh well, a part of me hopes she comes back and maybe we can at least go to a certain type of therapist to maybe try to get the ball rolling. I'm not trying to get my hopes up but do you think it is possible she may come back?