walkingonair Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 My ex moved to another state today.The last few days he has been texting me and I was ignoring.And yesterday he texted me and said "okay well thanks for always bening awesome"...I didn't respond.Why was he texting me if he knew he's moving?What does he want from me?An ego boost?I can't talk to someone who moved for no real reason and left me:(I feel abandoned and betrayed and all I can do is ignore him.
highseas Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 I remember your story. Maybe he wanted some positive response from you to ease his mind, making him feel less guilty? He is being inconsiderate for moving for no reason. Stand firm and make no contact. Try to hang in there and forget him. 1
kendahke Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 My ex moved to another state today.The last few days he has been texting me and I was ignoring.And yesterday he texted me and said "okay well thanks for always bening awesome"...I didn't respond.Why was he texting me if he knew he's moving?What does he want from me?An ego boost?I can't talk to someone who moved for no real reason and left me:(I feel abandoned and betrayed and all I can do is ignore him. He's texting you because it's driving him crazy that you're ignoring him. He wants to use you to help him feel better about how he went about dropping you off at the mall. He couldn't deliver on what you needed in a relationship, so he might as well just go on and go. It's great that you've ignored him, but you really need to block him because his ability to get in touch with you means you're allowing him to keep you emotionally nailed in place. If that wasn't the case, this post wouldn't be here asking why he's doing this. Seriously--time to block him and get on with your life. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 He's texting you because it's driving him crazy that you're ignoring him. He wants to use you to help him feel better about how he went about dropping you off at the mall. He couldn't deliver on what you needed in a relationship, so he might as well just go on and go. It's great that you've ignored him, but you really need to block him because his ability to get in touch with you means you're allowing him to keep you emotionally nailed in place. If that wasn't the case, this post wouldn't be here asking why he's doing this. Seriously--time to block him and get on with your life. Highseas,Kendakhe, thanks for your answers guys.Yea I'm realizing him contacting me has nothing to do with me it has to do with him and him feeling guilt cause he did treat me like crap and then moved.He wants to know that I'm still there for him so he can have me on his terms.Gonna continue ignoring him!
HereNorThere Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 It sounds like you may be taking the move a little too personally. Unless he specifically said "I'm moving to get away from you" you shouldn't be carrying that burden. Some people are wanderers and need to roam in order to feel complete. People move, people die, etc. Would you honestly be so selfish as to keep him from pursuing his destiny, his dreams? Would you want him to treat you that way if you wanted to move? 2
Author walkingonair Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 It sounds like you may be taking the move a little too personally. Unless he specifically said "I'm moving to get away from you" you shouldn't be carrying that burden. Some people are wanderers and need to roam in order to feel complete. People move, people die, etc. Would you honestly be so selfish as to keep him from pursuing his destiny, his dreams? Would you want him to treat you that way if you wanted to move? Aww you're right.But I have feelings for him and I can't be his friend at this time.It's just not fair to me,him moving and dating again and having fun while I suffer and cry everyday.I just feel like I was lead on because we dated for pretty much a year and he just suddenly says he's moving cause he has friends there or w.e.I honestly feel like the move had nothing to do with friends or w.e.He has a habit of never finishing anything and running away from things.I keep thinking he has commitmentphobia because he never fully finished anything and never commit to anything even in his career.
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Aww you're right.But I have feelings for him and I can't be his friend at this time.It's just not fair to me,him moving and dating again and having fun while I suffer and cry everyday.I just feel like I was lead on because we dated for pretty much a year and he just suddenly says he's moving cause he has friends there or w.e.I honestly feel like the move had nothing to do with friends or w.e.He has a habit of never finishing anything and running away from things.I keep thinking he has commitmentphobia because he never fully finished anything and never commit to anything even in his career. I get it. Oh trust me, I get it. I've been a player and I have certainly been played. All is fair in love and war, right? Still, you're taking this more personally than you need to. I know when you're hurting it's a lot easier to vilify the other person than it is to just accept that Universe is sometimes indifferent to your feelings, but I promise you that you'll grow a lot more if you develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with this type of situation. I promise you, one day you'll be on the other side of the fence dealing with the guilt of leaving a good person to pursue your own interests. When you do, you'll have a little more compassion for your ex. I never thought it would happen to me until it did and let me tell ya, the guilt was sooo much harder to deal with than I expected. Forgive him and move forward. Sure, he's not perfect, but this wasn't a slight against you. He didn't purposely set out to ruin your life. He just decided to pursue his own interests and one day you'll be in the same position. I agree you can't be friends for a while because you need time to heal, but one day you'll be whole again and maybe you can be. Go easy on yourself and quit thinking the worst. Good luck and keep posting if it helps. Force yourself to get out and have fun even if you don't feel like it. Take comfort in your friends and enjoy summer before it's over. If it gets too bad, maybe you can look up a local counselor and go in for a few talks. I know it certainly helped me in the past. Stay strong and I promise you - this too shall pass. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 I get it. Oh trust me, I get it. I've been a player and I have certainly been played. All is fair in love and war, right? Still, you're taking this more personally than you need to. I know when you're hurting it's a lot easier to vilify the other person than it is to just accept that Universe is sometimes indifferent to your feelings, but I promise you that you'll grow a lot more if you develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with this type of situation. I promise you, one day you'll be on the other side of the fence dealing with the guilt of leaving a good person to pursue your own interests. When you do, you'll have a little more compassion for your ex. I never thought it would happen to me until it did and let me tell ya, the guilt was sooo much harder to deal with than I expected. Forgive him and move forward. Sure, he's not perfect, but this wasn't a slight against you. He didn't purposely set out to ruin your life. He just decided to pursue his own interests and one day you'll be in the same position. I agree you can't be friends for a while because you need time to heal, but one day you'll be whole again and maybe you can be. Go easy on yourself and quit thinking the worst. Good luck and keep posting if it helps. Force yourself to get out and have fun even if you don't feel like it. Take comfort in your friends and enjoy summer before it's over. If it gets too bad, maybe you can look up a local counselor and go in for a few talks. I know it certainly helped me in the past. Stay strong and I promise you - this too shall pass. Awwwwww thank you so much for your advice!!!!You're right:(Another thing is I feel guilty because I have ignored his last texts Is it ok if I just don't respond?I just can't talk to him at this time,at all and ignoring gives me more power in this situation:(
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Awwwwww thank you so much for your advice!!!!You're right:(Another thing is I feel guilty because I have ignored his last texts Is it ok if I just don't respond?I just can't talk to him at this time,at all and ignoring gives me more power in this situation:( My personal opinion is that it's okay to ignore his text, but I think the high road would be to tell him straight up "I have to go no contact for a while to clear my head. I'm not doing this to punish you, I'm doing this to heal myself. Please respect my wish and maybe one day we can catch up. Right now I just need some time and space" Otherwise it just looks like you're doing it to punish him. Admittedly, you probably are a little bit and that's okay as well, but it's time to let that go to. He's been a part of your life and a part of your daily pattern. You have to alter that pattern now and you can't do that with constantly reminding you of this mess. Just do it for the right reasons. Do it to heal, not to hurt him. Take the high road and let him know. If you have an iPhone or Android, block his number for a bit, but let him know first. Good luck and I promise you things will get better... Until the next time, ya know 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 My personal opinion is that it's okay to ignore his text, but I think the high road would be to tell him straight up "I have to go no contact for a while to clear my head. I'm not doing this to punish you, I'm doing this to heal myself. Please respect my wish and maybe one day we can catch up. Right now I just need some time and space" Otherwise it just looks like you're doing it to punish him. Admittedly, you probably are a little bit and that's okay as well, but it's time to let that go to. He's been a part of your life and a part of your daily pattern. You have to alter that pattern now and you can't do that with constantly reminding you of this mess. Just do it for the right reasons. Do it to heal, not to hurt him. Take the high road and let him know. If you have an iPhone or Android, block his number for a bit, but let him know first. Good luck and I promise you things will get better... Until the next time, ya know Thanks so much!!!!!I think I'll be ready to talk to him when I fully move on and I don't know how long that'll take.Feeling so sad and can't even look at other guys,just have no interest in anyone and getting to know anyone.Right now I just want to stop feeling so sad:(Cry ever hour:/
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) Thanks so much!!!!!I think I'll be ready to talk to him when I fully move on and I don't know how long that'll take.Feeling so sad and can't even look at other guys,just have no interest in anyone and getting to know anyone.Right now I just want to stop feeling so sad:(Cry ever hour:/ Sometimes you have to run towards the pain to get it over with. I've been there, babe... Ugh, too many times to count, but I PROMISE, it'll be over soon enough. Send your no contact letter, block his number and find some distractions. You'll have to force yourself to get out there and have some fun, but it's possible. It's like any other wound. First it's open and bleeding, but it scabs, then you have to resist picking at it and eventually it becomes a scar. Over time the the scar fades and one day you'll look at it and be proud that you made it it through it. You'll wear that scar like a badge of honor because you could have given up but you didn't. When will you get better? When you decide your ready. Remember, you can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. Be stoic, be strong, face it head on and let the pain run through veins like blood. Feel it deep down from your feet to your teeth as they gnash and clinch. Be grateful that you're a human capable of such strong emotion. One day that same capacity will grant you the ability to raise a child or deal with something really traumatic like the death of a loved one. Sometimes you gotta see the pain in a different light, you have to see the beauty in it because it reminds you that you're alive. It's okay, it's a good thing, but some people get addicted to it - that's called depression. Remember that one day you will have to put it on a shelf and move on because it's not worth giving up your life for. You've experienced a loss and we humans grieve our losses. But you know what, we also bury our dead and rebuild. And when we do, we build bigger, stronger, taller and we're better for it. Right now, you just need to be selfish. Take time to do what YOU want to do. Whether you realize it or not, you haven't had that option in a while. Enjoy your freedom and get out there and get it. Soak in the sun, breathe the air, put your favorite positive music on and get your grind on girl. Life is too short to let some silly boy rob you of your peace of mind. No one person is worth that, ever. Godspeed and I'll be thinking about ya! Edited August 2, 2015 by HereNorThere 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Sometimes you have to run towards the pain to get it over with. I've been there, babe... Ugh, too many times to count, but I PROMISE, it'll be over soon enough. Send your no contact letter, block his number and find some distractions. You'll have to force yourself to get out there and have some fun, but it's possible. It's like any other wound. First it's open and bleeding, but it scabs, then you have to resist picking at it and eventually it becomes a scar. Over time the the scar fades and one day you'll look at it and be proud that you made it it through it. You'll wear that scar like a badge of honor because you could have given up but you didn't. When will you get better? When you decide your ready. Remember, you can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. Be stoic, be strong, face it head on and let the pain run through veins like blood. Feel it deep down from your feet to your teeth as they gnash and clinch. Be grateful that you're a human capable of such strong emotion. One day that same capacity will grant you the ability to raise a child or deal with something really traumatic like the death of a loved one. Sometimes you gotta see the pain in a different light, you have to see the beauty in it because it reminds you that you're alive. It's okay, it's a good thing, but some people get addicted to it - that's called depression. Remember that one day you will have to put it on a shelf and move on because it's not worth giving up your life for. You've experienced a loss and we humans grieve our losses. But you know what, we also bury our dead and rebuild. And when we do, we build bigger, stronger, taller and we're better for it. Right now, you just need to be selfish. Take time to do what YOU want to do. Whether you realize it or not, you haven't had that option in a while. Enjoy your freedom and get out there and get it. Soak in the sun, breathe the air, put your favorite positive music on and get your grind on girl. Life is too short to let some silly boy rob you of your peace of mind. No one person is worth that, ever. Godspeed and I'll be thinking about ya! Thank You so much!!!!!I feel betterish!Idk what I would do without you!!!
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Thank You so much!!!!!I feel betterish!Idk what I would do without you!!! You're welcome. I'm glad I had a chance to repay the Universe. I've been in your shoes and will be again one day. It was my friends, family, therapist and even perfect strangers who did the same thing for me. Empathy is SUCH a beautiful thing. Whether you know it or not, you helped me as well. Sometimes I need to be reminded of my own strength and more more importantly, my capacity to forgive and move on. You're going to build something so beautiful next time. You will learn so much about yourself. Just hold on because this next part of the ride is bumpy, but you're almost there, pinky swear! Take care of yourself. Go buy some ice cream. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 You're welcome. I'm glad I had a chance to repay the Universe. I've been in your shoes and will be again one day. It was my friends, family, therapist and even perfect strangers who did the same thing for me. Empathy is SUCH a beautiful thing. Whether you know it or not, you helped me as well. Sometimes I need to be reminded of my own strength and more more importantly, my capacity to forgive and move on. You're going to build something so beautiful next time. You will learn so much about yourself. Just hold on because this next part of the ride is bumpy, but you're almost there, pinky swear! Take care of yourself. Go buy some ice cream. Thank You!!!I'm glad I helped you too!You're such a strong person and I look up to you!!
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Thinking about you, friend. . Sending lots of good vibes and virtual hugs your way. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Thinking about you, friend. . Sending lots of good vibes and virtual hugs your way. Awwww thank you!!!Its getting better,trying to distract myself but also those annoying thoughts come in every hour where I blame myself for not being good enough Sending you lots of good vibes and love!!
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