lesgoodman Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Hello all I met a girl on OKCupid recently who seemed to be really nice so we exchanged numbers and went out on Wednesday night. We don't know each other at all as she's from the next town along from me. She is 32 and I am 33 so "pretty much" fully mature people! We had a great night (at least I did) and found that nearly every single interest she has is shared with me. Including the slightly weirder geekier side of my life! After a date lasting around 4/5 hours we left each other but declared that we should see each other again and we decided on a particular art exhibition that is on. It sounds a bit weird but in conversation we discovered we both adored this artist. On the way home she texts me (after I told her how much I enjoyed meeting her) saying that she really enjoyed it too and is looking forward the exhibition. Since Wednesday I have sent two further messages, one saying hello and the other asking what date is good for me to book some tickets. I have not had a reply to either message in 2 days. Is this weird? Should I leave the messaging and forget about her? We never explicitly talked about relationships or dating or anything like that, but I felt a real connection and walked out thinking we would see each other again. Despite it only being one night, I am quite disheartened by this and feel quite unusually sad - never get like this after a solitary date! Any words of advice? LG 1
Gary S Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Text is a poor form of communication, I would call her on the phone to make a date. 1
RoseVille Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Are you messaging her on the site, or texting her? If messaging her, text her. If texting her, and she's not responded to two attempts, I'd just chalk it up to standard OLD fade and move on.
xcupid Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 She hardly knows you. So you're not a priority in her life. Maybe you should phone her and ask her to the exhibition instead of texting. 2
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 She changed her mind or someone better suited for her came along, sorry. 1
Author lesgoodman Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 No I was texting to her phone, not on the site. Perhaps, yes I should have phoned. Do you think it's too late now that I have sent the 2 texts? Maybe in a couple of days?
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 No I was texting to her phone, not on the site. Perhaps, yes I should have phoned. Do you think it's too late now that I have sent the 2 texts? Maybe in a couple of days? It's never too late. You have nothing to lose. Yes wait a few days and give her a call.
Author lesgoodman Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 It's never too late. You have nothing to lose. Yes wait a few days and give her a call. I'd hate to come across as a stalker, overly keen or that guy who just doesn't get the hint!
Gary S Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 It's never too late. You have nothing to lose. Yes wait a few days and give her a call. - that's the way the stalkers think
rocketman122 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 I'd hate to come across as a stalker, overly keen or that guy who just doesn't get the hint! why stalker? it could happen that something happened. someone passed away, shes in the hospital, in a coma. who the hell knows. dont automatically assume stalker. OP, if you want to know, call. she says no thank you, then move on.
Author lesgoodman Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 - that's the way the stalkers think OK that puts me at ease....
smackie9 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Hello all I met a girl on OKCupid recently who seemed to be really nice so we exchanged numbers and went out on Wednesday night. We don't know each other at all as she's from the next town along from me. She is 32 and I am 33 so "pretty much" fully mature people! We had a great night (at least I did) and found that nearly every single interest she has is shared with me. Including the slightly weirder geekier side of my life! After a date lasting around 4/5 hours we left each other but declared that we should see each other again and we decided on a particular art exhibition that is on. It sounds a bit weird but in conversation we discovered we both adored this artist. On the way home she texts me (after I told her how much I enjoyed meeting her) saying that she really enjoyed it too and is looking forward the exhibition. Since Wednesday I have sent two further messages, one saying hello and the other asking what date is good for me to book some tickets. I have not had a reply to either message in 2 days. Is this weird? Should I leave the messaging and forget about her? We never explicitly talked about relationships or dating or anything like that, but I felt a real connection and walked out thinking we would see each other again. Despite it only being one night, I am quite disheartened by this and feel quite unusually sad - never get like this after a solitary date! Any words of advice? LG Please read through this thread. It shows you what it's like on the other end. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/540824-how-gently-say-girl-i-don-t-want-another-date
Tobin Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 I'd hate to come across as a stalker, overly keen or that guy who just doesn't get the hint! Who cares how you come across, if she's not interested then why care what she thinks, and if she IS interested then she'll be responsive to your call. 3
Author lesgoodman Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 Please read through this thread. It shows you what it's like on the other end. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/540824-how-gently-say-girl-i-don-t-want-another-date I'd be happy(ish) if she rejected me. At least then I would know. It's the whole not knowing thing that hurts most. Perhaps she wasn't attracted to me, and that's cool but.....i dunno
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 - that's the way the stalkers think Stop it, it's not because a guy tries ONE phone call after a few days that makes him a stalker. OP: Call her in a few days, who cares how you come across, nothing ventured nothing gained. 2
Author lesgoodman Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Stop it, it's not because a guy tries ONE phone call after a few days that makes him a stalker. OP: Call her in a few days, who cares how you come across, nothing ventured nothing gained. This is what I'll do. I'll call her exactly a week later and keep my fingers crossed! Thanks all
hakim Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Since Wednesday I have sent two further messages, one saying hello and the other asking what date is good for me to book some tickets. I have not had a reply to either message in 2 days. Is this weird? Should I leave the messaging and forget about her? First things first, if she likes you and is invested in you, she'll contact you. Secondly, did you send 2 messages in row on Wednesday? ... if so, she was probably turned off by that. It could be a **** test, but I would just assume she's lost interest. If she contacts you then you can sort out a new date. Don't message her from now. 1
hakim Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 It's never too late. You have nothing to lose. Yes wait a few days and give her a call. I wouldn't contact her at all until she does. This is because she's the one giving him the cold shoulder. 2
newmoon Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 you messaged Wednesday, today is Sunday, and you want to wait a few more days to call. already with the games. you can't pick up a phone today? 1
walkingonair Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Hello all I met a girl on OKCupid recently who seemed to be really nice so we exchanged numbers and went out on Wednesday night. We don't know each other at all as she's from the next town along from me. She is 32 and I am 33 so "pretty much" fully mature people! We had a great night (at least I did) and found that nearly every single interest she has is shared with me. Including the slightly weirder geekier side of my life! After a date lasting around 4/5 hours we left each other but declared that we should see each other again and we decided on a particular art exhibition that is on. It sounds a bit weird but in conversation we discovered we both adored this artist. On the way home she texts me (after I told her how much I enjoyed meeting her) saying that she really enjoyed it too and is looking forward the exhibition. Since Wednesday I have sent two further messages, one saying hello and the other asking what date is good for me to book some tickets. I have not had a reply to either message in 2 days. Is this weird? Should I leave the messaging and forget about her? We never explicitly talked about relationships or dating or anything like that, but I felt a real connection and walked out thinking we would see each other again. Despite it only being one night, I am quite disheartened by this and feel quite unusually sad - never get like this after a solitary date! Any words of advice? LG If she wanted to reply to your message,she would.Nothing is stopping her so obviously she doesn't want to see you and is afraid to let you down.Just don't text her and move on 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 This is what I'll do. I'll call her exactly a week later and keep my fingers crossed! If she doesn't reply for a week I don't think calling is a good idea, it looks stalkerish and desperate. If you absolutely MUST contact her again at least don't call. Msg her or text her. Or better yet forget about her and move on. 2
Author lesgoodman Posted August 7, 2015 Author Posted August 7, 2015 For those who are interested, I called her and left a voicemail but never got a reply 2 days later I sent her a WhatsApp message saying that I'll take the hint and won't pester her, but that I really enjoyed meeting her and she was lovely etc so thanks for that at least. The message was instantly read, but no response. I think this is called ghosting. And for the recipient it is the worst feeling. Even now I am quite knocked out by it despite it only being one date (I thought it went fantastically, she obviously didn't)
Redhead14 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Hello all I met a girl on OKCupid recently who seemed to be really nice so we exchanged numbers and went out on Wednesday night. We don't know each other at all as she's from the next town along from me. She is 32 and I am 33 so "pretty much" fully mature people! We had a great night (at least I did) and found that nearly every single interest she has is shared with me. Including the slightly weirder geekier side of my life! After a date lasting around 4/5 hours we left each other but declared that we should see each other again and we decided on a particular art exhibition that is on. It sounds a bit weird but in conversation we discovered we both adored this artist. On the way home she texts me (after I told her how much I enjoyed meeting her) saying that she really enjoyed it too and is looking forward the exhibition. Since Wednesday I have sent two further messages, one saying hello and the other asking what date is good for me to book some tickets. I have not had a reply to either message in 2 days. Is this weird? Should I leave the messaging and forget about her? We never explicitly talked about relationships or dating or anything like that, but I felt a real connection and walked out thinking we would see each other again. Despite it only being one night, I am quite disheartened by this and feel quite unusually sad - never get like this after a solitary date! Any words of advice? LG You asked her for a second date, asked about booking tickets and she hasn't responded in 2 days . . . ask someone else to go to the exhibition. Don't reach out to her again. It's rude of her not to respond in any way even to turn it down.
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 For those who are interested, I called her and left a voicemail but never got a reply 2 days later I sent her a WhatsApp message saying that I'll take the hint and won't pester her, but that I really enjoyed meeting her and she was lovely etc so thanks for that at least. The message was instantly read, but no response. I think this is called ghosting. And for the recipient it is the worst feeling. Even now I am quite knocked out by it despite it only being one date (I thought it went fantastically, she obviously didn't) Use that as a learning experience on how to read interest level and more importantly how not to get too worked up after a single date. 2
ZA Dater Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 For those who are interested, I called her and left a voicemail but never got a reply 2 days later I sent her a WhatsApp message saying that I'll take the hint and won't pester her, but that I really enjoyed meeting her and she was lovely etc so thanks for that at least. The message was instantly read, but no response. I think this is called ghosting. And for the recipient it is the worst feeling. Even now I am quite knocked out by it despite it only being one date (I thought it went fantastically, she obviously didn't) I feel you pain and disappointment. Been there many times. Chalk this down to her inability to be honest. Nobody can tell me you were treated well by this person.
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