Author mjkcal Posted August 1, 2015 Author Posted August 1, 2015 its never bothered me at all to pay for a date myself. i felt like i should since im the man. however, the games and strange lack of interest after the dates are over made me rethink that attitude. i dont know that ill ever spend another cent on a woman. I used to be this exact same way. If the woman I'm out with is genuinely interested and not just looking to be "entertained" I'm happy to pay, even if next date she decides it's a no go. Unfortunately, you learn that sometimes this just isn't the case, and many girls are just hunting expensive meals and good time, so you have to protect yourself.
HereNorThere Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 It cost money to date and that's that. Sometimes you just gotta charge it to the game, son. 2
Popsicle Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 I just want to bring up the fact that "expensive" is relative to your financial situation. For me, it's not unusual to drop 2 or 300 dollars (USD) for a nice evening, but as a college student, 20 to 30 dollars was a lot. Some friends of mine enjoy bottle service and make my 2 or 300 look cheap, lol. You can't really compare what's expensive because it depends on your income level. This is true. I would feel a lot more guilty if I knew the guy didn't really have it.
RoseVille Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 You don't indulge in burgers, pizza or samplers once or twice a week? And what do your girlfriends like? Nope. We like quality, not junk food. And samplers are at chains like Chili's. Just...no. If a guy took me to such a place right now on our first date, I'd think he was re-living his early- to mid-20's.
RoseVille Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 That is where I'm coming from. If by the end of the date she has an interest in me and still and wants to go out again, I have no issue with her letting me pick up the whole check. But if she already knows she isn't interested, or never was such as the girls you described just wanting "entertainment" then it just really rubs me the wrong way that she's having me pick up the whole tab. It isn't right, in my opinion. As to only guys who aren't successful caring, I can't speak to that. According to the stats, I'm pretty damn successful. I certainly don't always feel that way though. Often times I change my mind about a guy after the date. That said, if he asked me out on a first or second date, and I accept, he should pay, regardless of his expected outcome of the date.
jay1983 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Nope. We like quality, not junk food. And samplers are at chains like Chili's. Just...no. If a guy took me to such a place right now on our first date, I'd think he was re-living his early- to mid-20's. Alright, I'll take you somewhere really nice. I have you wear something really nice, get all dolled up and drive your ass to Macdonald's.
HereNorThere Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Alright, I'll take you somewhere really nice. I have you wear something really nice, get all dolled up and drive your ass to Macdonald's. We have a new one with flat screen tvs and very few homeless people living in the booths. Suuuuper classy! You can even let her supersize it!
fitnessfan365 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 That is where I'm coming from. If by the end of the date she has an interest in me and still and wants to go out again, I have no issue with her letting me pick up the whole check. But if she already knows she isn't interested, or never was such as the girls you described just wanting "entertainment" then it just really rubs me the wrong way that she's having me pick up the whole tab. It isn't right, in my opinion. Once again, you're the one who's deciding to plan online meet ups that are more expensive that involve a bill. If you keep it really low key and inexpensive, it will never be an issue. I still say that ice cream is the best choice for an online meet up. It's inexpensive, most women love it, and you can have fun giving an "ice cream test". It makes for a quick, fun personality assessment. 1
Author mjkcal Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Often times I change my mind about a guy after the date. That said, if he asked me out on a first or second date, and I accept, he should pay, regardless of his expected outcome of the date. You're obviously welcome to change your mind as anyone would be able to post date. The point I'm addressing are blatant users who have no interest at all. This has nothing to do with expected outcomes, but rather being genuine in your interest. If you asked a guy out would you pay? It's not often a girl will even if she does the asking.
Author mjkcal Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Once again, you're the one who's deciding to plan online meet ups that are more expensive that involve a bill. If you keep it really low key and inexpensive, it will never be an issue. I still say that ice cream is the best choice for an online meet up. It's inexpensive, most women love it, and you can have fun giving an "ice cream test". It makes for a quick, fun personality assessment. Once again, I get that. When it's 100 out with high humidity some girls don't want to sweat drenched the first date. So it's not always doable. But yes, it's the best approach.
Author mjkcal Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 It cost money to date and that's that. Sometimes you just gotta charge it to the game, son. True, but it doesn't mean you can't try and keep it cheap. Some good ideas on here about how.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Once again, I get that. When it's 100 out with high humidity some girls don't want to sweat drenched the first date. So it's not always doable. But yes, it's the best approach. Ice cream establishments have air conditioning inside. 1
autumnnight Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 When you start analysing dates in terms of who paid how much in comparison with interest levels and sex, it's time to quit. How many first unsuccessful dates are you going on to actually be so out of pocket? Maybe that is the issue here. This pretty much sums it up. may your abacus keep you warm at night
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 True, but it doesn't mean you can't try and keep it cheap. Some good ideas on here about how. If you have to, you have to. I've certainly been there and will probably be there again one day. But right now, I got it and I enjoy spending it. Some people are poor, some are just cheap, but I like spending my money. I don't slave for it for nothing. And honestly, dating has been a good investment for me. I've met a bunch of amazing people, some absolutely horrible people and had a lot of fun doing it. 1
Author mjkcal Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Ice cream establishments have air conditioning inside. Very true, I was always more of a fan of the outside walk up type so you could take a bit of an activity walk rather than stare at each other. But beats nothing
guest569 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I've probably wasted a bit of time and money on idiot men but its all experience and living and what the hell, its part of dating. I didn't ask to be reimbursed lol. What's with ice cream.. Its mid winter here, f that, 1
Author mjkcal Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 I've probably wasted a bit of time and money on idiot men but its all experience and living and what the hell, its part of dating. I didn't ask to be reimbursed lol. What's with ice cream.. Its mid winter here, f that, Well yeah I'm not asking to be reimbursed. I think good points have been made that just keep it cheap at first is a good way to go. It's summer round here and super hot so that's why the ice cream talk. And it's cheap and well liked.
ascendotum Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 But what I want, is for women born in the 90's to stop saying how "old fashioned" they are. This may have applied to their grandmas and maybe even their mom's. However, when a college educated woman w-a good job under 30 starts saying she expects a guy to always pay, it grates on me. I'm with you on the above ^ and also and keeping your first date inexpensive but ideally at the same time interesting/novel. Times have changed and so have women and many are 'you go gurl' in spirit and DTF for a hot guy, yet at the same time say they will be 'just an ol fashioned girl' when it comes to dating and a bf, but when you first meet her, you have no idea. One of my neighbors will do 3somes with good looking randoms & happy to cook dinners & pay for the movie for her f-buddies, but its a different story when it comes to other guys (the bf type) who need to take her out and impress her. One of my co-workers that juggles 3 fwbs, one of them cooks his meals for him. He drops in for a shag once/twice a week and goes home loaded up with casseroles/stews/roasts. lol. What a sweet deal. This woman could easily be going on OLD in a few yrs when she hits 40 with one of these profiles saying how she misses romance and gentlemen who know how to treat ladies & wants to be wined & dined. Dating has changed so much since the 50s and when you go on the first date you have no idea if you getting a classy woman or not, so I rather keep the date inexpensive but that certainly doesn't mean McDonalds (rather fish & chips by a sea spot)
AlurOne Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 IMO the person who asks for the date should pay. That just typically falls on the guy most times. It is nice to see a woman make a move for her purse though every once in a while, even if I plan on paying anyway. I've been asked out, and then was clearly expected to pay. That didn't work out for me. But I've been on some dates where she is quick and ready to pay, breaking it out before I even get a chance. That's always an impressive move to me.
reeseyummy Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Opps, I only let a guy pay for me if I'm interested. If I'm not sure, I'll always pay my share, that's what friends do. So before clearing up whether if there's potential to be more than friends, I always pay my half.
crederer Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Yea typically men shoulder most of the burden at the beginning of the relationship mainly due to traditional gender roles, and often times as the relationship progresses. It doesn't necessarily have to be this way but I hear you. You don't have to accept that if you don't want to, though. No one is forcing you to be with this type of person. 1
No Limit Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I find this quite interesting because in my area it's the rule that everyone pays for themselves, seperate bills. My problem is quite a different one; when I asked someone out for coffee at Starbucks all responses I got so far is that it's too expensive. Conversation ends for me right there.
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