DC77 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 This is another post in what is seemingly becoming a breakup series. I'm trying to get some stuff back but my now ex will not respond. I've really been trying to limit the texts. I sent a couple when it first happened a week ago. One mid week. And another today. I'm trying not to bombard him, and being very direct, but he just isn't responding. He must be more upset about it than I realized. I broke it off with him, but he seemed to not leave me a choice. He stated all these flaws that he thinks I have that keep him from having an emotional connection. And yelled that he would never marry me. All he wanted was friends, which in reality equated to being a couple but without the obligation of an emotional connection or effort on his part. I now know he has a ton of issues going on but that's a tall order! To ask of someone It was exhausting and I told him it wouldn't work for me. And it seemed I was more upset than him about leaving and he was just shut down. I asked for a hug, he gave me a hug goodbye. We agreed to stay friends. And he said keep in touch... But now I'm trying to get some stuff and can't seem to get a response. Someone suggested I just let go of the stuff. That sucks. Is that really how it has to work? I've never had to deal with this type of behavior and really didn't think he would be like this. The stuff in question are a pair of eyeglasses. A few kitchen things. A couple sentimental things. And a painting, that at this point I'm hoping he hasn't destroyed. Why is he behaving like this?? Like I said, I don't want to blow up his phone. And now that he's behaving like this I want to settle things sooner than later. What should I do??
Redhead14 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 This is another post in what is seemingly becoming a breakup series. I'm trying to get some stuff back but my now ex will not respond. I've really been trying to limit the texts. I sent a couple when it first happened a week ago. One mid week. And another today. I'm trying not to bombard him, and being very direct, but he just isn't responding. He must be more upset about it than I realized. I broke it off with him, but he seemed to not leave me a choice. He stated all these flaws that he thinks I have that keep him from having an emotional connection. And yelled that he would never marry me. All he wanted was friends, which in reality equated to being a couple but without the obligation of an emotional connection or effort on his part. I now know he has a ton of issues going on but that's a tall order! To ask of someone It was exhausting and I told him it wouldn't work for me. And it seemed I was more upset than him about leaving and he was just shut down. I asked for a hug, he gave me a hug goodbye. We agreed to stay friends. And he said keep in touch... But now I'm trying to get some stuff and can't seem to get a response. Someone suggested I just let go of the stuff. That sucks. Is that really how it has to work? I've never had to deal with this type of behavior and really didn't think he would be like this. The stuff in question are a pair of eyeglasses. A few kitchen things. A couple sentimental things. And a painting, that at this point I'm hoping he hasn't destroyed. Why is he behaving like this?? Like I said, I don't want to blow up his phone. And now that he's behaving like this I want to settle things sooner than later. What should I do?? Forget about the "stuff". I'd say deep down you just want an opportunity to see him again. Is this stuff really that significant? There's not a lot you can do if he's not responding anyway. Pushing the issue will not help anything. Don't blow up his phone. Just go no contact and stick to it. Unless the painting is a Picasso, let it go. There are other paintings. Why is he behaving this way? That's the way people behave when they are finished with a relationship. They don't want to deal with it anymore. If you keep pushing it, you'll just end up being one of the "crazy" exes. Focus on YOU now and not the relationship. Go out with your friends, get your own life back. You'll do fine.
katiegrl Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) DC, given what you have written previously about this guy and your relationship, IMO the reason he won't allow you to pick up your stuff is so that if he ever changes his mind and wants to get back together with you, even if just to *hook up*, he has a reason/excuse to get back in touch with you. This has happened to many of my friends, it's actually uncanny how common it is! Weeks or even months later they get a call "hey DC77, how are you? You know I just realized, I still have your stuff"! Edited August 1, 2015 by katiegrl
preraph Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Round up receipts and credit card records, cancelled checks showing you bought the stuff and take him to Small Claims Court. What he likes is making you squirm. So either take him to court and put an end to it -- or walk away from the stuff and blast him all over social media for stealing it right before blocking him on social media and getting a new phone number. Or you can do it the old fashioned way and take a couple of big brothers and a dad or uncle or guy friends over there and get your stuff while they make sure he sits down and shuts up. You could call the cops and see what they say. I doubt they will much care, but probably depends if you're in a big city or a small town. And if you think it would be mean of you to do any of these things, then you're still hoping to reunite and may as well face it.
Author DC77 Posted August 4, 2015 Author Posted August 4, 2015 Whoa! Small claims court is a little severe and a little too on the crazy drama side for me. I'm trying to keep this civil... And I do have my own life. I've always had my own life. I'm getting on with it... And he did finally reply. He will get me the stuff when "he is able to." Who knows when that will be, but I trust him to his word... I've gone no contact since.
Toodaloo Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 If you really want the painting then just get up bang on the door and go get it. Then cut all contact and be done. The glasses and kitchen things can be replaced. It really is that simple. But remember that after you have done this that is it. Do not go back again. Do not contact him again and just leave him be.
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