udelgirl Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 hi, i was reading an earlier post by RoseyLife that made me want to share my story... basically i have been communicating with a man who was and still is engaged (it was an arranged marriage). we were communicating only as friends and i made it very clear that no physical things were going to happen, it was merely platonic. and nothing physical happens, he never mentions or pressures sex, etc. yet we have really been connecting spiritually on a lot of issues and finding out more and more that we are alike, similar opinions, lifestyles, backgrounds, dreams, and can talk about anything. we are also both english majors with dreams of opening the same type of business. in the back of my mind, i can't help but wonder if he may leave his fiancee for me. we talk about our emotions and feelings so much that i feel sometimes we are more than friends, and anyone listening to us talk would think us husband/wife, not merely friends. he has claimed he has strong feelings for me too, and couldn't leave me because he values our friendship so much, that i am truly a unique person and he can't let me go. i have never seen this man in person, and we have been communicating for a couple of months. this man is everything i want in a man, and i'm not just saying that because i "can't have him." i've objectively thought about it, trying to persuade myself to just move on, but i've realized i can't let him go, either, because he is unique to me to. i have met a lot of people, been on several dates, and can honestly say this man is special (in the sense that we connect so well). any thoughts?
Merin Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Same thoughts from me regarding your situation as Rosey's... 1) He's engaged to be Married and it isn't to you... makes him unavailable 2) You don't *Know* him.. only online and what he tells you much different then an IRL situation 3) It's been 2 Months of Emails... sorry but I don't think that is a qualifer for someone to be in Love, perhaps find another person interesting (based on what information is being told which may or may not be true) but IN Love... falling IN Love with someone takes more than email IMO.. You've said the 2 of you are Friends only.. BUT obviously you're interested in having more with this Guy than that... so again IMO that makes this an emotional affair at least on your end.. and from what you've said possibly on his as well... Just My Opinion but I would find someone else who ISN'T engaged or otherwise unavailable to you.. AND while it's fine to meet people online unless or until it goes off line to a IRL situation I wouldn't consider it a relationship... Good Luck
sweetpea01 Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Is he considering leaving his fiancee? If so, I would wait until he and her are unengaged to continue. If he will not, and the marriage is gonna happen - well then, I would step away cause this is hurting you, him, his fiancee, and THEIR future together. SP
Author udelgirl Posted May 6, 2005 Author Posted May 6, 2005 he hasn't told me that he is considering to leave her; he rarely mentions her to me.
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