theblade Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Hello!..Im just posting my story, and hope you will give me sum words of wisdom to what ive been goin thru. I had been with my ex for just short of 3 years, and we broke up about 5 weeks ago. Kinda funny thing happened. We was out watching a football match (soccer if ur american) and everything was fine on that saturday afternoon. She was saying she loves me..and we did things that people in love are suppose to do...ahem.... Anyway, after the match, she gets a call from her freinds asking of she wants to go clubbing later that night. I said i didnt want her to go but i wasnt going to stop her from going... So she went. Before she left left, she said she wouldnt be back about 1.30am. I had no problem with that. It got to 12.30am and she called me, saying she wont be home and that she loves me. Cool! It got to 2.30am and i was a bit worried, i kept callin her phone, but she just kept hanging up, i must have called about 10 times. It got to 3am..stilll she would not answer her phone. At 10.30am she called, saying she was at her friends and that she doesnt need the hassle that i am giving her!...so i thought, fair enough. Im not the kinda of person that begs to be taken back and to ask for forgiveness...even thou i dont think i did anything. She said that shes "...25 and wants to go out every weekend without asking permission..." and that "...she doesnt love me anymore and shes unhappy.." she wasnt complaining on saturday morning....if ya get me. So...i packed her bags and told her to come and collect them. She came round on the monday and was in a bad mood. I dont think she thought i would actually pack them. I even helped her finish packing. She was calling me names and says how much she hates, things like that. Then she left. I got a text off her the following friday asking for her paperwork for work (it gets delivered to my house). So i told her to come and get it and to change the address so it gets posted to her parents house. She came round and said nothing, just picked the paperwork up and left. It was 12.30am on saturday...i was sleeping, and i got a text from her. She texted to tell me that she was seeing someone else and not to go to my local gym because he wouldnt like it!... I just text back saying that i hope it works out for her and that i hope hes the one for her. Then nothing untill the next wednesday. she text my to see if she could have her hair straightners back!, i didnt reply. She texted again on friday asking for her paperwork again. I texted her saying that she needs to change the address and i will leave it outside in a bag. Then i got a text this morning (06/05/05) at about 7.30am saying that she needs her paperwork again!..i just ignored it... then she phoned my mobile...i ignored it again...then she phoned my house...i ignored that aswell. I was driving passed my gym last night and there was this man stood outside it, i recognised him from a pub in town, and my ex used to say he reminds her of a famous pop star (which he kinda does). I passed him and he was straight on his phone....then i drive back home, the same way..he looked at me...and again straight on his phone...then (sounds like i was stalking him!) i drove back to pick a friend up...again..he was there and was straight on his phone. It just seems funny that she called the next day. Anyway..thats my story...what do you all think?
laRubiaBonita Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 tell her she is 25, she needs to keep track of her own damn paperwork! and then do not talk with her anymore. It is soo obvious this is just about sex now.
Author theblade Posted May 6, 2005 Author Posted May 6, 2005 yeh thanks for that...made me feel a whole lot better. cheers
Jess xx Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Her constant contact sounds like she is just trying to get a reaction out of you....from what you write you seem like you have made it clear you no longer want her& have no intention of attempting a reconciliation...good for you...your ex sounds as typical of my ex as in they want the best of both worlds...someone to be there&care about them but live the single life aswell.....as if! I'd completely implement NC with her asap...if she is craving a reaction from you this will be a killer for her.
Author theblade Posted May 6, 2005 Author Posted May 6, 2005 thanks jess. I cant work out of i miss her, or just miss being with someone
Jess xx Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Completely the same for me! I was with ex for 2.5yrs and he turned out to be a commitment phobe&cheat...BUT deep down Im not sure we were right for each other, both 24..living together, you become SO used to each other& used to being in a relationship...the comfort zone. Sounds like your ex started to become a commitment phobe too... if you can give 100% you should be with someone who can do the same....You won't ever trust her again either. Funny how it all comes out of the blue aswell!? Just when you think its going so well!!!!! NC is the only way to go.
Author theblade Posted May 7, 2005 Author Posted May 7, 2005 anymore advice peeps? or just what u think about this!..wud help greatly!
mixwell Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 It sounds like your ex called you out and acted like a bitch and now that you are ok with it she doesn't know how to handle it.. You have the control now and she hates that !! she wants you to be begging her but your not which is good.. haha I think if you continue this and next time she contacts you just say hey we don't need to be in contact.. just say dont call me anymore to get your stuff.. haha.. reminder her that you are in control.. I think she will be crawling back to you.. By sending you the text saying she his seeing someone at your gym and you shouldnt go sounds pathetic.. She wanted to make you jealous.. I hope you don't stop going to the gym because of that though.. the best way to get her back is to just act like you don't care.. just act like you never went out with her.. Take care and stay in control !! haha cheers
Author theblade Posted May 7, 2005 Author Posted May 7, 2005 nice one mixwell..good advice! cheers geezer
Author theblade Posted May 8, 2005 Author Posted May 8, 2005 ok..heres a new one for you all.. Im doin the NC thing fine...but one of my friends mentioned today that he saw my ex last night in town with her friends and some men....now that is worst than contacting her i think. If you get what i mean.
vickimonster Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 Hey sounds like your ex has got some stuff she needs to figure out and you are best out of it. It is hard though, you miss them. I think no contact is definately a good thing for you to do. You will be happier in the long run. Stay strong and I hope it works out for you. good luck.
No Foolin Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 Sounds like your doing fine to me brother.....I would change up the workout place and possibly ditch the phone #s you have. Your still in the infant stages of a break up; plus she is hanging out with dudes (you already know what that means). Its best now to treat her like shes capable of anything. Be aware that you "might" have some bad nights on your own in the future (plan for it ahead of time). Expect some less than sane behvior from the ex. If you do this right, you may be able to revcover quicker than most. You did great jamming her a** at the line by not dealing w/ her. Take it from me you don't want any contact with her now (trust me). She will just bring the pain 100%. Total props for packing her bags for her that was a nice touch. Putting her mail in a bag was priceless. I can just see her rolling up to your flat and picking up some ratty paper grocery sack, yes!!!! Excellent work. Now prepare for you own demons (they will come). Like I said, you do this right and you will be able to walk this off pronto. No Foolin
Marshbear Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell It sounds like your ex called you out and acted like a bitch and now that you are ok with it she doesn't know how to handle it.. You have the control now and she hates that !! she wants you to be begging her but your not which is good.. haha I think if you continue this and next time she contacts you just say hey we don't need to be in contact.. just say dont call me anymore to get your stuff.. haha.. reminder her that you are in control.. I think she will be crawling back to you.. By sending you the text saying she his seeing someone at your gym and you shouldnt go sounds pathetic.. She wanted to make you jealous.. I hope you don't stop going to the gym because of that though.. the best way to get her back is to just act like you don't care.. just act like you never went out with her.. Take care and stay in control !! haha cheers I agree completely with Mixwell. I think this is the truth and you are doing the right thing.. You are in control...
No Foolin Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 lol, I'm laughing so hard I am almost in tears. I just have to give you props again blade for that outstanding performance. You didn't put her mail in a box, large envelope, or something similar to a file, you put it in a bag, . The rattier the better. That took some style. Nothing says get the hell out like your belongings in a grocery sack. Next time, if there is a next time, try putting her mail in an empty box of cereal (just joking, lol). I'm sure just the concept will keep her off you back. "He put my mail in a box of cereal, wtf". Great job brother. No Foolin
Author theblade Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 cereal box! i hadnt thought of that one!...
Author theblade Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 ok..heres a dilemma! I got a text today at about 8.15pm GMT off my ex saying that she needs her passport and she thinks it in her bag in the cupboard in my apartment and that she cant afford to pay the £60 for a new one. She also said she has a suitcase full of me clothes at her mum and dads (where she is living) and that she has my driving licence..... Think she wants sumthing???? Deleted.
outdated Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Yes, she wants her passport. The question is do you hope for something to come from this? Oblige and give her back her stuff, and wait and see what happens. I don't think you can do anything else.
Author theblade Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 i didnt say in my last thread....i dont have her passport!!..ive told her about 4 times now..just after we broke up!...i dont have anything of hers what so ever
Author theblade Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 no...i dont miss her....i miss being with someone...i think shes with someone else anyway...oh ...i dunno!!!
Jess xx Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Maybe its time to change phone numbers! I miss being with someone too, Its difficult because whenever I think I want my ex back I also think 'he is not the person you thought he was' so am I missing him or a relationship. Something else on LS I notice is that everyone gets confused with NC as in they can implement it but cannot understand why the ex doesn't get it!? Have you spelt it out to her you do not want ANY contact with her again? Also consider she may get the message and then will never contact you again? This will happen eventually...will you be ok with that deep down?
Devildog Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I really hope you didn't cater to her new boy toy's desire and stop going to your regular gym. Why? Is he not willing to deal with the guilt or something? You pay a membership fee to go there, then go there. They don't own the place, they can't tell you not to go there.
Author theblade Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Personally, i think she is lying about being with someone else...shes that kinda person who, if things dont go her way, she will hurt someone (i.e me). She knows im vunerable that way, so i reckon thats the reason she said it. Even her sister and mother have said that about her!.... To be honest, yeh i can cope with not having anymore contact with her. If SHE wants to get back with me...she better get on her hands and knees and beg like mad. Then i can say....no thanks! and feel good about it
Jess xx Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Definately! I'd love that. My exs mum told me that he didn't deserve me and that I can do better!!! The alarm bells start to go off when their own family turn on them!
Jess xx Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Sorry your thread always hits a nerve with me! Been thinking and bottom line its all about your ex wanting the best of both worlds, she is freaking out about the commitment so wants to have a lil dabble& then come back into your arms.....what is she thinking! Evidently she is still trying to get a reaction because she cares(about herself) and wants one from you to make herself feel better(not you).....time to spell it out for her loud&clear.
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