dowbuild Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 Having a really rough morning, like every last one for the last three weeks. My ex broke up with me after two years. Out of the blue, we had broken up 6 months ago when he said he didnt know if he saw a future. He took some time and worked on things. But here we are again. I wake up really early and can't sleep because Im thinking why I wasn't good enough to hold onto or work for. I have a lot of self-worth issues and this has really compounded that. I finally felt safe like someone loved me and now they left too. I feel like this always happens. Like Im not worth staying for or there is something wrong with me. I don't even know what I am most upset about, the abandonment or the fact that I wasn't good enough. He just didn't have that 'forever' feeling.
seasickpeeve Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 I'm not sure what to reply other than I am sorry you feel this way and I have had similar thoughts too. It is a huge shake to your confidence and if that was shaky already then it will be doubly tough. Be gentle with yourself, even in your thoughts. Not all thoughts have to be listened to. Try find things that take you out of your head for awhile. Remind yourself that almost everyone has been left at some point, that doesn't mean that all those people were not good enough! He may never ever have that 'forever' feeling with anyone so it may not be personal, it may be him...nothing to do with your worth. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 Having a really rough morning, like every last one for the last three weeks. My ex broke up with me after two years. Out of the blue, we had broken up 6 months ago when he said he didnt know if he saw a future. He took some time and worked on things. But here we are again. I wake up really early and can't sleep because Im thinking why I wasn't good enough to hold onto or work for. I have a lot of self-worth issues and this has really compounded that. I finally felt safe like someone loved me and now they left too. I feel like this always happens. Like Im not worth staying for or there is something wrong with me. I don't even know what I am most upset about, the abandonment or the fact that I wasn't good enough. He just didn't have that 'forever' feeling. You have to understand one thing. His actions are a reflection of him, not you. This has nothing to do with you being not "worth" holding on to. It just wasn't a good fit for whatever reason. He simply recognized it before you did. You will see it as well in time. Be kind to yourself and know that you have value and you have worth. Your thoughts, opinions and ideas are important. 1
aloneinaz Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 Not very many people think they are "all that and a bag of chips". Everyone I know has some level of self esteem issues. It's normal. Don't exasperate you catastrophic thoughts. Recognize that it's normal to feel how you do after being broken up with. Also, look at some of the celebrities who have a history of being dumped. Taylor Swift, Jennifer Anniston. It happens to everyone. Part of the dating and being in a relationship with people is to see who's a good fit and who's not. Sometimes it takes a while to discover someone may not be a good fit for them long term. It doesn't mean the person who got dumped has anything "wrong" with them, it just means they were not a good fit. The same happens in friendships. Some people who click with while others you can't stand. Learn from the relationship what you can. Don't let it hold you back from trying again down the road. As it was already mentioned, be kind to yourself. In most cases, people like you move onto better relationships and feel grateful they are no longer with the previous person. 1
Recommended Posts