HandsomeBoh Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Its my birthday today, and I know I'm supposed to be happy about it, but I really can't be. 25 days ago, we celebrated her birthday, our third one together, she told me it was the best day of her life and we were going to be together forever, and I had so many other things planned for us to do. Three days after that, she told me she had stopped loving me a month ago, so that was all a lie, and she didn't want my birthday and some other important events to be ruined by her pretending to still love me. The problem is, now they're ruined by the fact that she doesn't love me, and now I have an anniversary to commemorate the pain. Which is fabulous because as if I didn't have enough things, now my birthday is going to remind me of our breakup every single year. I have friends and family who really care about me, and we'll be celebrating my birthday together so I won't be alone. But I still feel... So sad. I had big hopes for this birthday, we always made a big deal out of each other's birthdays, so now it all feels so unbearably empty. I thought I'd overcome most of the grief, but today is just soul-crushing. How did you celebrate your birthdays?
quattrob Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I'm guessing you're kind of young because once you reach a certain age.. birthdays are just another day in life. It wouldn't mean as much as your grow older. But I can understand how you're feeling as your break up is still kind of fresh. It stings when someone who loved you say they stopped loving you but realize that I don't believe that.. I believe that they never loved you, you can't stop loving someone.. if someone stopped loving you, that was never love to begin with. She may have loved the things you do or your company and the companionship etc.. but it seems she never loved you as "you" (your person), love doesn't just stop that is bs in my eye. Learn to be grateful that you have so many friends and family that love you and appreciate you. 2
Seeker12 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Hey handsomeboh, i had to get over my first bday without my ex, which was pretty okay, but when it came to her birthday this month it hit me. To be frank, i was in a bad mood from the morning, it then took a poem to break me down, from which i cried for 10-20mins, im 7 months NC by the way. Anyway, after my little cry, i felt relieved, happier, and was also comforted by a sibling. After this my day was brilliant, full of happiness and just generally pretty good. Dont worry, you are on the road to recovery and after you get over the big detachment i.e. her leaving you etc. you then encounter the nitty gritty things i.e. birthdays and anniversaries. Its expected that youll feel sad or unhappy, its completely natural and accept it for what it is. Id say after the little things that you guys made important go by, your life will be back to normal and well just awesome. Bottom line: Accept it for what it is, accept the emotions cry if necessarry, know its natural and youll get through it and next year it wont matter to you anymore, its progression and part of moving forward.
Xiomn Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 My ex (first love) broke up with me on our 10 month anniversary and 1 week before my birthday. I spent my birthday alone. Then again I don't give a crap about my own birthday, just another day to me.
aloneinaz Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 Happy birthday! The timing of her break up was poor but your birthday shouldn't remind you of her breaking up with you. It's not the same day. Also, don't get to caught up w/the word "love". Personally, I think the word is thrown around far too loosely these days, especially in relationships. I'm a big advocate of words don't mean @hit, people's actions do. Sadly, relationships run there course and end. Your challenge is to NOT take it too personal. Everyone has been dumped and in most cases, we move onto a better relationship. Hope you have a good celebration of your Bday.
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 I just celebrated my first birthday without her last weekend. It was rough but bearable. I spent the day with family and friends, and the next day my friends threw me a surprise impromptu birthday party. It made me realize... no matter how little she thinks of me, I have family and friends who DO love me. They're here and she's not; that sums it up in my mind. 1
Ariess10 Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 I just celebrated my first birthday without her last weekend. It was rough but bearable. I spent the day with family and friends, and the next day my friends threw me a surprise impromptu birthday party. It made me realize... no matter how little she thinks of me, I have family and friends who DO love me. They're here and she's not; that sums it up in my mind. This is a great way to look at it .. oTHER people do love you and wanna be around you . Si what if someone you "used to date" doesn't anymore her/his loss .. Yep I went through it also , month after we broke up it was my bday . But my faimly was there and it might have sucked beacuse of the pain , but I know people love me and that means more then any girl could ever 1
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