Rko28 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 hey everyone. To quickly summarize I had a short-ish "relationship" beginning of the year after being involved on and off with this girl for 2 years or so. Looking back now and even at the time on a personalty level/interestes im not sure what I saw in her, she had a very toxic streak in her, has a reputation for drama and sleeping about, basically the only thing I was attracted to was her looks although we did get on well at times. I had a sexual urge towards her and wanting to be with her like no one else as I said this lasted about 2 years. She would hurt me often, flake out on me and just be generally not good for me. When it all eneded we continued texting most days and it all came to a head one night when we were out drunk, my friends got invovled and said how nasty she is towards me etc, it all got heated and we cut all communications off everything. well overdue. Since then weve not spoke or seen each other. I do think about her most days and not sure why as i know shes not right for me, anyway last night I drove past her and a new guy i think shes seeing. It felt awful. I kinda know him, hes a nice guy, good looking and has a good lifestyle of travelling etc, she was out walking with him, something she would never do with me as going for walks was "stupid" This just got me really angry about a few things: 1- Im jealous shes found someone better than me, I know thats a bad thing to say but he is 2-Angry I wasted 2 years of my life in a flux with her 3-Annoyed with myself that im letting this get to me as shes poison for me. 4-Upset shes moved on even though I shouldnt be 5 - crazy as it sounds I imagine them out having fun and having sex etc and its getting to me. I just cant get my head around why its effecting me like this when I know shes wrong for me and a horrible person.
Clarkwg Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 You are not alone my friend. I had a relationship like this where the relationship is no good, she is emotionally unstable & we shouldn't be together for more than 6 months yet I'm so attracted to her looks that I hang around & take her **** for years when I shouldn't have. After nearly a decade we split & she moves on within a month & it drives me with jealousy & bitterness thinking she is the only girl in the world for me when deep down I know she is horrible & I should be happy to be out of it. 1
JamesThomas Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I recently broke up with somebody too. She herself had insecurities and random outbursts of jealousy, sarcasm and anger towards me. Her actions made me feel terrible inside, made me afraid to even let her into my heart. She even told me that she had a lot of crap going on in her head and that she had destroyed previous relationships because of her actions. I remember laying in bed next to her one night. I turned over and looked into her eyes and, for some reason, felt total fear and utter lack of trust. It really scared me because it just came out of nowhere but I think it was something trying to warn me. It took me an hour to shake this feeling off but I had never felt so afraid of a girlfriend before. Knowing that she was bad for me is what keeps me going but I can't help but think of the good times, the things we did together, the walks we took, the nice things about her, the future we could have had together, It's extremely hard because the nice things keep giving me a feeling of hope that one day I may get back with this person. I try to think of the bad thing but the good things come along and scream "SHE'LL COME AROUND! FIGHT FOR HER!" I really hate it.
Author Rko28 Posted July 30, 2015 Author Posted July 30, 2015 Thanks guys, nice to know im not alone, was starting to worry there was something wrong with me. I dont want to get back with her at all, I know this, she doesnt deserve me and my love but boy it still sucks feeling like this. I actually can feel myself hating her, I dont hate people, I want to upset her and make her feel the pain she caused me, which isnt like me at all. I actually went on a date with a girl on monday and had a nice time, hopefully potential there but why am i still feeling like this about another girl?
JamesThomas Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Thanks guys, nice to know im not alone, was starting to worry there was something wrong with me. I dont want to get back with her at all, I know this, she doesnt deserve me and my love but boy it still sucks feeling like this. I actually can feel myself hating her, I dont hate people, I want to upset her and make her feel the pain she caused me, which isnt like me at all. I actually went on a date with a girl on monday and had a nice time, hopefully potential there but why am i still feeling like this about another girl? Good for you! It does make it hard if you feel you have no closure and they block you so you feel kinda cheated... Again... I tried to be civil with her when we broke up but was amazed at how cold she became towards me but the sad reality is that I truly believe one of her friends manipulated and twisted her mind against me. This particular person has been well known to manipulate both peopl and situations whilst hiding behind a false smile making you believe that they are your friend. This person did this, twisted her mind, made me look like a monster and then had the bloody audacity to try to be all friendly as if she was the only friend I had left.
Author Rko28 Posted July 31, 2015 Author Posted July 31, 2015 Feeling a lot better today after getting used to the feeling of seeing her with another guy. Shes just a massive jerk really. I hope when I see them again I dont feel like yesterday. Shes the type that will really try and rub it in my face too.
foolinlove79 Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 Im in the same boat. My ex treated me terribly and then discarded me like i was nothing. Everyone tells me i am bebetter off. He moved on in 2 weeks and seems really happy. I hate that. Hopefully in time i will be able to see this is for the best.
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