outdated Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 So I've reached the point after the breakup (I am the dumpee obviously) where I wonder if she made the right decision. I thought she was the love of my life, and I still love her deeply, but after reading so many posts I wonder if it's just for the best. Learn from my mistakes and move on. I wonder if this is just a natural stage of the end, or if I would think differently if she were to come back into my life again. I miss my buddy, but I guess what I'm asking is if this is just some sort of defense or if i was just blinded by this relationship. It was very good for a long time, even ended without an arguement. I feel like a real a$$ after making such attempts to get her back (ie love letter, a few phone calls). Now I'm in complete NC and I've been feeling alright about it. I've been keeping myself busy with friends and my band, and I guess what I'm wondering is if I was so in love with this girl and am getting over it so quickly (7 weeks) am I just a jerk, or am I in some secondary stage of denial? I can't really be recovering so quickly from the love of my life could I?
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Nope. It's called "grief." Everyone goes through a spell of this when ending a relationship, whether it was good or bad. Recovery time depends on the individual, how attached you were to your partner, and the length of time you were together. Don't beat yourself up for wanting to give her another chance even after she hurt you. Pride is usually the first thing to go out the door when you're in love. One or two tries can also mean that you are a bigger person and cared for her enough to try and forgive. But if you continue on insistently after being shot down again and again, or become obsessed with getting her back to the point where you are torturing yourself, then what you might have is an unhealthy relationship 'addiction'. I think you're doing just fine. Seven weeks (two months) is relatively a short time. It takes some folks upwards of a year. As time goes on, you'll find yourself thinking about her less and less. And sometimes, the only way to get through the grieving process quicker is to stick fast to your "no contact" rule.
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