jakej Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I have been dating my current GF for 4 almost 5 years now. We recently graduated college but have been having issues the last year or so. Our relationship got off to a rocky start, mostly with her lying about some stuff be we have not had issues with that the last few years. She would do anything to keep the relationship going, while I have had doubts and have briefly ended it before, but getting back together a few weeks later. I have not felt great about the relationship for a while (year or so), wondering if I should end it but she does treat me really well so i cant decide if it is something I am willing to give up because I do not know for sure If i want the relationship. I had a big crush on a girl last year, which I ultimately told someone and it got back to my GF and the girl (who also had feelings for me even though she was in a relationship as well). I felt bad about the whole situation and apologized but my GF is the jealous type and continues to bring it up even a year and a half later. Since that incident I have had trouble keeping my mind off this girl, even though she now lives far away and I will never see her again. Is my fixation on this girl because i am deep down looking for a relationship that gives me a deeper sense of satisfaction? My GF is good to me, very thoughtful, and loves me to death. I do not have the same love towards her because i do not value the relationship as much as she does. I cant tell if my decreased interest in the relationship is because we have hit a rut by being together so long or if i truly do not like her as much as i used to... It is not like me to post on forums like these but I am very confused to 1) why an old crush is dominating my thoughts 2) figuring out if my current relationship is worth keeping.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 You're not in love with your girlfriend, and deep down, I think you know very well that she isn't the one. Break-ups and doubts in the past highlight this point. It's not fair to stay with your girlfriend, even if she loves you a lot. You don't feel the same way about her. It's time to let her go so you can both move on to more satisfying relationships.
Author jakej Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 maybe my issue is i am afraid of not finding someone better? I am only 23 but I could have an ok/decent relationship with this girl now but I am scared of not knowing if I will find a better relationship.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 You are both very young. I can guarantee you will find a better relationship, which entails you being more invested because you are in love with your partner. A relationship in which you've already had doubts and broken up before isn't all that great, honestly speaking.
mystikmind2005 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 There are two forces at work that you need to balance. 1) Your GF deserves someone who wants to be with her. 2) The deceptiveness of Grass is greener syndrome. So perhaps you should take some time to refocus on your GF, look deep in her eyes, imagine to commit to the idea she is the one for you, how does it feel? 2
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