No_Go Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 How do you react to this: when I started a relationship, a few friends of mine start constantly flashing in my face how happy they are with their single life. Starting from explanations how they "do not settle", "have all their time to do things they love", are "strong and independent", and so on and so forth. This is going on my nerves - some of these conversations are perpetual, and some of the remarks sound like insults (e.g why a person in a relationship can't be strong and independent??). To be fair, I've been bothered by the opposite too - e.g. married people "shaming" their single friends for their choice. Do you find it hard to maintain friendships with people with different relationship/family status?
RoseVille Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Do you find it hard to maintain friendships with people with different relationship/family status? Only when they do what you describe, which is rare. I am dating someone, and I'm often in a relationship, but for the past couple years, I have felt more single than attached. When I've been single, the singles have said things like what you describe - I think they're trying to justify to themselves why they're single so they feel better about their situation. And I often agree with them; there's a lot of lovely freedom in being single. But they don't do as you describe when I'm dating; they're supportive and happy for me, BUT are quick to say, "Oh heck no!" if I bring up something minor that's concerning me - everything is a deal breaker to them. I have some marrieds that encourage me to be more open to settling down because they're are genuinely happy in their home lives, and also some who are jealous of my freedom.
Tread Carefully Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I have some married friends tell me how lucky I am to be single. Single friends that start new relationships tell me not to worry, it will happen for me too. Married former friends that ended our friendship when I became single because "Being a third wheel would be so ackward for you darling." Single friends who pray I never meet someone because they would lose their wing girl. Ugghh... 2
casey.lives Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I not a happy single... i got an ex boyfriend and his lunatic pathetic gf ... hovering helicoptering my every move. Happy... i could be.... happily in a relationship ..i could be..... except these juvenile delinquents have minecrafted my whole life with their self absorption
preraph Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 . Do you find it hard to maintain friendships with people with different relationship/family status? Yes, but at least my friends aren't usually rude enough to be so blunt about it as yours apparently are! Boundaries, people! If they're close friends, they shouldn't want to make you feel less than.
Otter2569 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Honestly, most of my married friends are jealous that I am single and have had a series of GF's. They love the dating stories too. A few (mostly married women) however have not been so nice to my GF's and have made rude comments like "oh, he's like a revolving door" or "another one" right in front of my current GF. Needless to say I have cut these people out of my life almost completely. I dont deserve crap from anyone nor do i have to explain myself to them 1
MoreAmore Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I don't have much of that experience. Everyone was very happy when I "committed." The only friends who dropped off were people who weren't truly friends at all, but I guess working the long game to win me over. Some made me sad, but I'm better off without a person trying to fake a friendship because he wants something. When I got divorced, I did lose a lot of my married friends from the higher socioeconomic class I previously occupied. It was unexpected, and sad, but I made new friends who have better stood by me. No single person has ever talked down relationships to me unless I was recently single and it was in the interest of cheering me up.
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