My boyfriend is ignoring me for some time after a series of conflicts lately. Does it

July 29, 2015

How long should i wait?

For a month or so, i have been feeling quite insecure with him. We're both on a summer break and i expected to see him more often. Instead he's with his friends most of the time, we used to stay up late texting or on phone. Now it's not the case. I feel like he's always choosing them over me, and the balance between me and them is gone. I tried talking to him about it more than once, at times, it caused conflict but he admitted he's not giving me enough attention and promised to improve. things didn't really improve. We had lots of up and downs. Like it improves for a week then we clash over something again. At times it would be trivial stuff or my fault and it would lead to some deattachment. I admit i was wrong at times, i feel insecure because of this treatment and my trust is a little shaken because of his ignorance and he noticed that and got mad one time. i do trust him but it's because we're communicating less and my thoughts keep wandering.

Last week, there was some tension, we went on a date and discussed some issues. He promised it will improve. I told him how i loved our late calls (like we would talk abt anything). now there are no calls because he spends the whole night out with friends. After this date and his promise i thought he would choose to stay at home for me, just once, to remember our old times. Two days after the date, on fb, he told me he's going to see his friends, again (like man, everyday!!?) so i got mad and told him about it.we ignored each other after that, for several days. The thing is, before this ignorance thing, i asked him for a favor, he promised he would help. So after 4 days of ignorance i sent a text asking if he would still do me the favor (it was important for me and he knew it). But no answer. I decided to do it on my own and without his help, and i succeeded. A week later, no answer, i sent him a sarcastic text, as a thank you and that i did it on my own. It has been two days, still no answer. It's pissing me off. I dont know what he means with this, its way off limits. Does it mean a break up? He usually has this thing in him when he ignores me for weeks after a fights but then i initiate it and he apologizes, things go smooth after that. But this, idont know, especially there was a promise he didnt keep here. How long should i wait?? Should i confront him again?

As a couple, we had very lovely moments, even between those fights that happen on social media, i noticed that when i meet him the tension between us just fades. But then we go home, he sends sweet texts but it wouldn't mean staying home to call me at night or whatever. I felt he wasn't going to change that "im with friends" ritual. maybe he did it once in one month and thats it. I feel like im not getting the attention and bond we used to have months ago.

July 29, 2015

If the same issues keep being a problem then perhaps you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Consistency is a pretty decent indicator if a relationship is healthy or lacking in some area. Sure while most are young, views and desires are heavily conflicted, especially if you do have a large pool of friends that may be interesting. It feels like you are wanting different things, even if you do have good moments together. I would personally question things if you go periods without any answer, clearly this isn't to your liking and I can understand why. Immaturity can be found in people of all ages, but when communication is broken down for such periods of time as you experience, then I wouldn't feel like it's anywhere near healthy.

Fighting solves nothing, being upset with something should be an alarm to both of you that you need to solve whatever it is that came between you. It takes two active parts to solve a problem, things need to be discussed when you have a disagreement. Truthfully it just sounds like you need someone who will indeed pay you much better attention, those guys certainly are out there, but I'm not here to advocate a breakup nor for you to continue the relationship. If he cares about you he will show it by listening to you and talking, plus staying true to his words. Promises can easily be broken so no one should really do unless they know they can deliver.

July 29, 2015

Hes no invested in the relationship. How old are you both? How long have you been dating?

You need to strengthen your boundaries. He keeps promising change, no delivery. It will stay this way. Hes getting away with it, youre putting up with it.

This is not a loving, healthy relationship. It's dragging you down, friend.

July 29, 2015

How long have you been together? And how old are you? It sounds as though him giving you the silent treatment is a bit of a pattern, which is a red flag. You can't have a relationship without healthy communication. Ignoring each other for days or weeks is quite immature, and as you see, it solves nothing. The dynamic here isn't good at all.

I know you don't want to hear this, but it sounds like he's losing interest. People make time for the things that interest them and stimulate them. If he's cancelling on you, breaking promises or simply not making time for you, it indicates his heart isn't in it. We can't make someone do something they just don't want to do. It does appear that he's checking out of this relationship. I personally wouldn't be able to stay with a guy who blows me off all the time. Call him and have a mature discussion. But I'm sorry, it seems to me that it's coming to an end.

July 29, 2015

We are in our twenties. Its been 3 and a half years. 2 years ago this time we broke up for a year. then he came back last year. we weren't over each other so i agreed to date him again. the problem is i love him and i think he does or at least did too. As a person, he deals with problems by running away or ignoring them especially when he believes it isn;t his fault or he doesn't feel like talking. I agree with the he's not interested as before part. Although he kept denying my concerns when we talked, he kept saying im the priority but i dont see it anymore. This is not healthy, i agree. Part of me still cant decide what. I know it's time to break up maybe, but still have feelings for him, and deep down in him i think he does have them for me too. Or maybe im wrong. If not for the feelings i would have ended it immediately. i never did or do know how to make him stop ignoring me when he's mad or sth.

July 29, 2015

We are in our twenties. Its been 3 and a half years. 2 years ago this time we broke up for a year. then he came back last year. we weren't over each other so i agreed to date him again. the problem is i love him and i think he does or at least did too. As a person, he deals with problems by running away or ignoring them especially when he believes it isn;t his fault or he doesn't feel like talking. I agree with the he's not interested as before part. Although he kept denying my concerns when we talked, he kept saying im the priority but i dont see it anymore. This is not healthy, i agree. Part of me still cant decide what. I know it's time to break up maybe, but still have feelings for him, and deep down in him i think he does have them for me too. Or maybe im wrong. If not for the feelings i would have ended it immediately. i never did or do know how to make him stop ignoring me when he's mad or sth.

Having feelings for someone is not a good reason enough to stay in a bad relationship. You'll get over him, we all get over it.

I see no long-term material in this man. Running away from problems, giving the silent treatment, unable to recognize his responsibilities, breaking promises, being unreliable is good for teenage boys not for grown up man.

You've over grown this man, time to move on.

July 29, 2015

Why do you want to stay with a guy who informs you via FB that he is going out with his friends? Your issue is that he went out with them yet again after having just had a conversation to put you first. Using social media as a means of communication is childish. Makes me wonder if he thought you'd lash out so that everyone would think you are psycho. You have played into that before. I can't for the life of me figure out why people want to post ALL their business on social media sights for the world to see. Some things don't need to be aired to the general public!

Going silent, reneging on a promise, putting everyone ahead of you on a constant basis*, ...I wouldn't wonder if this was a breakup, I'd make it one. A permanent one. He has a lot of maturing left to do. You have enable this toxic cycle: have a big arguement, he goes silent, you text, call, email - whatever - apologizing for the arguement, (be it your fault or not) and eventually he comes around and everything is hunkydory until the next go round, which doesn't take long to occur. Is this really the way you want to live your life?

July 29, 2015

***Having feelings for someone is not a good reason enough to stay in a bad relationship. ***

You'll get over him, we all get over it.

I see no long-term material in this man. Running away from problems, giving the silent treatment, unable to recognize his responsibilities, breaking promises, being unreliable is good for teenage boys not for grown up man.

You've over grown this man, time to move on.

Agree with Gaeta. If he were *physically* hurting you, would you still want to stay because you love him?

Think about that, and if the answer is yes, then please seek help for your co-dependency and self-esteem issues.

If the answer is no, then you obviously realize loving someone is often times not enough to sustain a toxic relationship with a dysfunctional man who clearly doesn't give a shyt.

Edit: Sweetie, you can talk to him about your feelings until hell freezes over. Truth is, you can't *make* a man want to be with you, spend more time with you .... or love you.

He either feels it in his heart, all by himself, with no pushing, prodding, pleading from you, or he does not.

In your boyfriend's case, it would appear by his actions, he does not. At least not anymore.

He has checked out, and I would strongly advise you to take steps to do the same.

I am sorry...,

Edited July 29, 2015 by katiegrl

July 29, 2015

Why do you want to stay with a guy who informs you via FB that he is going out with his friends? Your issue is that he went out with them yet again after having just had a conversation to put you first. Using social media as a means of communication is childish. Makes me wonder if he thought you'd lash out so that everyone would think you are psycho. You have played into that before. I can't for the life of me figure out why people want to post ALL their business on social media sights for the world to see. Some things don't need to be aired to the general public!

Going silent, reneging on a promise, putting everyone ahead of you on a constant basis*, ...I wouldn't wonder if this was a breakup, I'd make it one. A permanent one. He has a lot of maturing left to do. You have enable this toxic cycle: have a big arguement, he goes silent, you text, call, email - whatever - apologizing for the arguement, (be it your fault or not) and eventually he comes around and everything is hunkydory until the next go round, which doesn't take long to occur. Is this really the way you want to live your life?

I meant on inbox and of course not in public!

and yes thank you for the part where u explained the toxic cycle, on the point.

July 29, 2015

How long should i wait?
For a month or so, i have been feeling quite insecure with him. We're both on a summer break and i expected to see him more often. Instead he's with his friends most of the time, we used to stay up late texting or on phone. Now it's not the case. I feel like he's always choosing them over me, and the balance between me and them is gone. I tried talking to him about it more than once, at times, it caused conflict but he admitted he's not giving me enough attention and promised to improve. things didn't really improve. We had lots of up and downs. Like it improves for a week then we clash over something again. At times it would be trivial stuff or my fault and it would lead to some deattachment. I admit i was wrong at times, i feel insecure because of this treatment and my trust is a little shaken because of his ignorance and he noticed that and got mad one time. i do trust him but it's because we're communicating less and my thoughts keep wandering.

Last week, there was some tension, we went on a date and discussed some issues. He promised it will improve. I told him how i loved our late calls (like we would talk abt anything). now there are no calls because he spends the whole night out with friends. After this date and his promise i thought he would choose to stay at home for me, just once, to remember our old times. Two days after the date, on fb, he told me he's going to see his friends, again (like man, everyday!!?) so i got mad and told him about it.we ignored each other after that, for several days. The thing is, before this ignorance thing, i asked him for a favor, he promised he would help. So after 4 days of ignorance i sent a text asking if he would still do me the favor (it was important for me and he knew it). But no answer. I decided to do it on my own and without his help, and i succeeded. A week later, no answer, i sent him a sarcastic text, as a thank you and that i did it on my own. It has been two days, still no answer. It's pissing me off. I dont know what he means with this, its way off limits. Does it mean a break up? He usually has this thing in him when he ignores me for weeks after a fights but then i initiate it and he apologizes, things go smooth after that. But this, idont know, especially there was a promise he didnt keep here. How long should i wait?? Should i confront him again?

As a couple, we had very lovely moments, even between those fights that happen on social media, i noticed that when i meet him the tension between us just fades. But then we go home, he sends sweet texts but it wouldn't mean staying home to call me at night or whatever. I felt he wasn't going to change that "im with friends" ritual. maybe he did it once in one month and thats it. I feel like im not getting the attention and bond we used to have months ago.

Sorry to say, but this is not a healthy relationship.

You both have some growing up to do.

It is not normal to ignore your SO for weeks after an argument and it's also very juvenile to argue publicly on social media. How old are you all?

This guy is making NO effort. The writing is on the wall. He doesn't care to change and is not concerned about spending time with you.When your bf is really into you, you don't have to beg him to hang out with you, beg him to spend time with you, have several talks about it and then he still chooses his friends everyday and then when you mention it he ignores you for days and doesn't do a favor he previously said he would. NONE of this is good and you should be thinking of dumping this guy. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you feel this way?

All couples disagree but there are healthy ways and unhealthy ways...certainly ignoring someone for days or weeks is NOT a good way to deal. I have had disagreements with boyfriends and maybe we'll be upset for a few hours or overnight at most, but that's it. They don't ignore me even when I'm messaging them and if they promised to do something they still do it and overall it kills them when we're not speaking so we make up back pretty quickly (that's how it usually is when you really care). I have also never been in a relationship where my boyfriend would rather hang out everyday with his friends and not see me and then get upset when I mention it. If a boyfriend was doing that it would be a sign something is terribly wrong. In my relationships we both have friends, we hang out with other people, but we're both very excited to see and be with each other and prioritize that. He'll go out with friends for example and then after he's done hanging out with them he'll come by my place and spend the night. Or if he's away or even with friends he'll text me or call to check in on me.Things like that, where he will fit me and us in in between other plans or at least send me a message to show he is thinking of me. Your boyfriend is NOT interested in doing any of this and I think you should move on and see it for what it is....you sound young...there are MANY MANY MANY more guys and ones who will prioritize you and not make you feel insecure then ignore you.

July 29, 2015

Here is "what is" in your situation: he prefers the company of his friends over your company. He is showing you that in abundantly clear ways. He knows how you feel about it, yet he is doing what he wants to do.

I dare say that your relationship is over except for the breaking up. A guy who is into you and your relationship doesn't put you on ignore for weeks on end. They don't pick fights with you so that they can vanish. And even if you do break up, he may promise the moon and stars that he'll change, but more than likely, he is just lulling you back into a stupor so he can put you back on the shelf and go back to hanging out with his boys.

He's not emotionally in a place to be in a relationship with you or anyone. He still wants to play with his friends. You are an afterthought that he attends to when you nag loudly or often enough.

You can keep playing this game with him or you can put your foot down and dump him. You've done all you can do. The rest is up to him and he's not inclined to do it. Can't force him or make him do anything--you can only control yourself and how close in proximity you place your person in respect to him.

July 29, 2015

thank you for ur answers and support

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