Unluckyinluv Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I'm old enough that I should know better, yet with this man I cannot shake that feeling that there is something more to us than what we have now. We've been off and on again for about 15 years or so, minus the time when we were both married to other people. I was always the one with the stronger feelings and he said he didn't want to take it to the next level. It hurt and I've never truly gotten over it. I've felt something for him from the very moment I met him and as I said I can never let go of that feeling no matter how hard I have tried or even when I met my ex-husband, even he never measured up to how I feel about him. All of our friends tell me this man has feelings for me, but none of them can explain why he won't go further with me and they shake their heads. During the time we were married to others we didn't see each other because his now ex-wife didn't approve of our friendship. We'd ask about each other though and said hell through our mutual friends until we both became divorced and reconnected. My dilemma goes deeper, however, as over the last couple of years I have experienced numerous health issues that has left me unable to work. Recently I was evicted from my apartment and when he heard about my situation he immediately said that I could stay with him. Mind you, I also have a son whom I have custody. So due to those circumstances we are now "living together" and well those feelings have sparked up again at least they have for me. He gives me very mixed signals and has gotten jealous when he thought I was dating another guy (I was talking to him). Yet, to him we are still "friends" and nothing more. We've only been intimate once since I have been here and while we try to keep things "roommate like" our lives are very intertwined. I keep thinking that perhaps now that we are living together he will see me differently, he will see how well we work together in a very real relationship-type way. Yet, another part of me says I could end up hurt yet again. His ex-wife hurt him very, very badly and I know that he is offstandish to commitment (he says he will never get married again) because of it. We are both early 40's and obviously have been around a time or two. I know I should know better, yet, when it is you in the situation all that know how goes right out the window. Our "friendship" is unique in the sense that we have continued this for many years, we keep finding our way back into each others lives and now throwing a big we live together into the mix. It is confusing. Do you think it is possible given the situation we are in where we see each other daily, that he could change his mind about us taking it further (at least past the "friends" line). I don't want to force it or do things out of character just to make him see me differently and see me as "exclusive girlfriend" material. Yet, I do want that to happen. UnluckyinLuv
smackie9 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Not a good time to be "getting antiquated" for a relationship. You need to make your time there very temporary, help out with anything you can graciously, and focus on how to fix your personal situation. Get your priorities straight first.
Author Unluckyinluv Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 Yes, I am doing what I need to do to help myself and my son, I'm doing all of that and, no, I am not waiting in the wind for him. I just came across the site and thought I would pose the question, because it has been lingering in my mind as to what could be and what might never be. The fact that we keep finding each other in situations throughout our "friendship" makes me wonder. I'll be okay either way and I have my own life. This is just a setback that I will deal with and come back out from under.
PogoStick Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Very unlikely. If it didn't happen in the first 15 years, I wouldn't expect it to happen in the next 15 either. He's just a fantasy that you are able to idealize. Reality wouldn't be so wonderful I bet.
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